Every Friday, the staff at Crazy Apple Rumors Site answers common help questions based on our vast experience with Apple products and our fervent belief that we know more than you do.
Q: It’s Captain Natty Dregg callin’ all par-tay people! Let me hear ya say “yeah!”
A: Uh… yeah!
Q: Now let me hear ya say “ooooh!”
Q: Now let me hear ya tell me how to switch my shell from tcsh to bash!
A: Uhhh, choose Preferences from the Terminal menu, select the option “Execute this command (specify complete path):” and change the selected text entry from /bin/tcsh to /bin/bash!
Q: Ooooh, yeah! Goodbye from Captain Natty Dregg!
A: Uh, bye!
HOWARD: Who was that?
A: That was… uh… Captain Natty Dregg.
HOWARD: Oh. Did he have my five dollars?
A: Uh… he didn’t say.
HOWARD: Hmm. I’m starting to think I’m not going to get it back.
A: Uh… yeah. He didn’t seem very concerned about it.
Q: I have a very unusual problem.
A: You don’t say.
Q: Oh, I do. See, I attached my iPod shuffle to some very small external speakers and I accidentally swalled both.
Q: Yes. And now I can’t sleep, mostly because of that Green Day album.
A: Well, have you considered an ipecac? Something to induce vomiting?
Q: Well, I thought about that. But it’s on shuffle and I know there’s a Celine Dion song on there…
A: Oh. So just wait.
Q: OK. That’s what I thought. I just wanted a second opinion.
Q: I have an Intel-based iBook that I’m having some problems synching with my Bluetooth phone. I’ve gone into Address Book and…
A: Wait… did you say you have an Intel-base iBook?
Q: Uh, yeah. Yeah. Rev. 1. It’s a 2 GHz. I got it in September of 2006.
A: But it’s… November of 2005.
Q: Oh, right. I keep forgetting that I’m time-shifted from everyone else. See, to me it’s March of 2008.
A: Oh. Wow. But… what does that mean?
Q: Well, I’m physically in this time phase, but I perceive time as if it’s March of 2008.
A: But… if you’re physically here, how are you using a laptop from the future?
Q: Uh… well, through the flux of chroniton particles surrounding my body, I… Well, see, the thing is, it’s actually a blueberry iBook and I perceive it – through time-shifting – to be an 2 GHz Intel-based iBook.
A: Ah. I think I’m getting this now. When you say “perceiving”, you mean “pretending.”
Q: Um… well, yes.
A: OK, well, that’s good to know. It’ll help with the troubleshooting process. Because, for example, your non-time-shifted iBook doesn’t come with Bluetooth which, and I’m not sure about this, may not have been invented yet when that laptop was designed.
Q: And… yeah, that might be my problem.
A: Yeah. See, that’s your time-shift problem.
Q: Oookay. Thanks.
A: Yeah. Bye.
HOWARD: Was that time-shift guy?
HOWARD: Did he have my five dollars?
A: Uh… he didn’t say.
HOWARD: OK, well, if he calls back, tell him he owes me interest through March of 2008.