While most of today’s Apple news centered around the company’s long-term deal with several flash memory suppliers, Crazy Apple Rumors Site has learned that the company has inked an equally important deal that will keep it in pudding for the next five years.
According to sources, the Caffe Macs cafeteria and every vending machine on the Apple campus will be stocked with premium pudding products from the fine folks at Kraft Foods.
Caffe Macs manager Monica Howarth brokered the deal for Apple.
“Much as the massive popularity of the iPod line requires a substantial quantity of flash memory,” Howarth said, “the voracious appetite of the average Apple employee for pudding requires a long-term supply commitment.”
“Frankly, they disgust me,” Howarth added, referring to Apple’s employees.
“Sitting there… lapping up great heaping servings of pudding… walking out with it smeared all over their faces and their clothes…”
Howarth spat on the floor in disgust.
And, not coincidentally, in violation of the California State Department of Health rules for the food management industry.
Kraft spokesman Rod Harney was ebullient over the deal.
“We’re thrilled to have been chosen by Apple to stuff the fat faces of its employees with our rich and sugary viscous food product through 2010,” Harney said.
“I understand engineers require lots of sugar and caffeine, and our chocolate pudding food product seems well-suited to their needs.”
While Apple management approved the deal, it adamantly supported the company’s recent crackdown on pudding sliding – a pasttime where employees coat their naked bodies with pudding and slide down the halls.
A spokesperson for the company cited legal liability and workplace safety rather than facilities sanitation as the primary reason for the crackdown.