After an outcry against what many say are abusive working conditions in plants making iPods, Apple pledged late last week to institute a China labor probe.
Some, however, are not pleased with this announcement.
“How is that supposed to help?” asked Amnesty International spokesperson and former iPod user Kim Daley. “I mean, haven’t these poor people been through enough without Apple probing them anally?”
Told Apple never said it would actually physically probe the Chinese workers anally, Daley rolled her eyes.
“Well, how else do you think they’re going to probe them?” she asked.
“You’re so naive. I’ve seen these kinds of ‘probes’ before. They’re not pretty.”
Reached for comment, Apple Senior Counsel Mark Aaker categorically denied that the company would be conducting alien-style violations of workers in Chinese plants.
“No, I think maybe we’ll just, you know, do the old ‘turn your head and cough.’ Check the glands. That kind of thing.
“Ha-ha! I’m kidding, of course! We’re looking into the labor practices of our partners, not the behinds of their workers!”
After an uncomfortable pause, Apple then said it wished it had declined to comment for this story.