29 Nov 06Fuckers At Universal Fucking With The Wrong Motherfuckers

Reuters reported today that the fuckers at Universal Music may try to cut a royalty deal with Apple on sales of the iPod, similar to what they managed to extract from the fuckers at Microsoft.

According to the report, Universal Music’s Chief Motherfucker, Doug Motherfucking Morris, has stated his fucked-up belief that when Apple renegotiates its contract with them next year, they will extort a tithe for doing fuck-all.

But sources at Apple indicate that these particular fuckers are fucking with the wrong motherfuckers.

“It is highly motherfucking unlikely that these fuckers will get away with this,” said a highly placed source who spoke on the condition of anonymity, only because his mother doesn’t like to hear him talk like this.

“Apple’s position as the fucking market leader means that it has some motherfucking leverage here. It would be a real motherfucking shame if these fuckers were to fucking wake up next year and find themselves fucking locked out of sales to the users of the most ubiquituous fucking digital music player.

“A real motherfucking shame.”

When asked why Apple would be able to work a contract that Microsoft could or would not, the source scoffed.

“They’ve sold about five fucking Zunes. We’ve sold 70 million motherfucking iPods.

“I’m just saying, these fuckers are fucking with the wrong motherfuckers.”

All of these fuckers declined to comment officially for this story.

66 Responses to “Fuckers At Universal Fucking With The Wrong Motherfuckers”

  1. Huh? says:

    I can’t believe that just came out of you Del!
    I’m impressed….

  2. Don of Doom says:

    “The Zune (deal) was an amazingly interesting exercise, to end up with a piece of technology,”

    How fucked up is this guy? Now he thinks that the fuckers at Universal own some of the technology because they are extracting a ‘tax’? Fucker!

    P.S. Del, does this mean that the overthrow of CARS is back on now? About fucking time!

  3. Rip Ragged says:

    What can possibly be next? “Fuck” is fucked.

    OT Aside to Huh?: There’s no telling what might happen with Del. Del has touched a Zune. I saw one up close at Circuit City — didn’t even touch it — and I had this weird mix of rage and amusement and momentary compassion for Steve Ballmer. Totally bipolar. And I didn’t even touch the nasty thing. Be kind to Del.

  4. Fucking A says:

    This is too fucking funny!

  5. I don’t see what’s so funny, or maybe I’m just too sensitive. I need a hug.

  6. Steve Jobs says:

    Okay all you potty-mouths. Enough already, or I’ll have to stop issuing white products. I like our products to have a certain virginal quality. But with talk like that, who would think you’re all the masters of your domains?

    And Joey? It’s tourettes.

    S.

  7. me says:

    i am in your zune fucking with your ipod.

  8. monkeys says:

    FUCK YEAH!

  9. fatty says:

    say it don’t spray it….. Chickenfuck How many times can I say meow……………………

  10. Spunk-Master-Jay says:

    Drink my pineapple juice enhanced spooge. My lady-friend enjoyed it lots. Not so salty.
    Dry roasted peanuts are salty. Your points are soooo very valid. If you take a crap and you have blood in your poo…., that’s valid also.

    ….typed by mr spunk master while jimmy crankie seemed to be escaping from my nethers. fooking amazing language on here love it lots. we have had massive fun reading all your comments frell fark fook and all such fuck variants def a giggle. Off to paint my bum blue and stand on a box shouting bible in true black adder tradition.

    Take care all

  11. dave pished on red stripe says:

    forfucksake fuckin tell those fuckin spunk fuckers tae fuck off, now iv heard a whole load of spunk fueled fuckspunk tae know that these corporate arsehole licker skid mark fuckers like to rip us off for every fart that we do, 5p a fart, its a fuckin fart tax, fuckin 5 fuckin p a fuckin fart. now dont tell me its no going to happen farts pollute the atmosphere so its fuckin 5 fuckin p a fuckin fart fuck lip

  12. Anonymous says:

    fucking is my hobby

  13. Jason Clark says:

    Tourettes

  14. Jason Clark says:

    fuck you guys swear a fuck load

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