IDG Still Partying Like It's 1999.

According to sources, IDG is continuing its embargo on granting Macworld passes to bloggers. The most notable blogger to be rejected for credentials this year is John Gruber of Daring Fireball.

Many in the Mac community have complained that, instead of using a blanket policy, IDG should be able to separate the wheat from the chaff.

But while keeping out rumor sites has long been considered the reason for IDG’s policy, Crazy Apple Rumors Site has learned that it is actually because the company has not realized that time has passed since June of 1999 and simply knows nothing of blogging, podcasting, videocasting or any of the latest web media.

A spokesperson for IDG, Charlotte McCormak, said “Since Steve Jobs’ return to the company last year, we have arranged to keep the riff-raff out of Macworld and we have no intention of changing that. We only accept traditional journalists. You know, guys with those little pads of paper… maybe a hat with a card in it that says ‘Press’… that’d be nice…

“I mean, any yahoo can throw up a website. Like, uh, Yahoo. Although I hear those guys are doing pretty well.

“But, frankly, I’m so totally worried about this Y2k thing that I can’t get all that excited about some… what did you call him – ‘blogger’? – who didn’t get a pass to cover Macworld.”

McCormak added that she was looking forward to the premier of The Phantom Menace in several weeks.

When asked why the company was not willing to recognize the ascendancy of online journalism including blogs and podcasts, McCormak laughed.

“‘Podcasts’?! Ha-ha! Yeah! Well, tell you what, I’ll make you a deal. Any ‘podcaster’ who arrives at Macworld in his ‘hovercar’ gets in free, OK?

“Ha-ha! ‘Podcasts’! You’re killin’ me! What is that, like, transmitting data from your space pod?”

Apple declined to comment officially for this story, but did roll its eyes at the mention of IDG and say “Pff. Ack. Jeez. Don’t get me started about those guys. Pff. Whoo. Tell you what.”

40 thoughts on “IDG Still Partying Like It's 1999.”

  1. So the Colonel hasn’t got you yet, or the Finns. Take care, as although he was fighting the Pathans, they share mutual admiration and you don’t want them on your tail.
    Realise that today’s post is designed to make it seem 1999, that is pre ‘Free Crap Week’ to confuse your enemies. It might just save your skin.

  2. You should really replace Mike Sponseller with Charlotte McCormak. Sponseller left IDG and McCormak is the new media rep now blindly denying the blogs.

  3. IDG? Aren’t those the guys who make the really good slide rules, you know, the ones with the the engraved scale markings, not just printed. Man, I can figure ballistic paths with one of those faster than you can say “Jack Robinson”.

    Tell Gruber to get himself a SpeedGraphic 4×5 and a felt hat. Tell the mug at the door he’s a photojournalist from “LOOK” magazine. There’s a media darling that will hold up till the next century.

  4. Not your best material, Moltz. I’m a little disappointed, but I know you’ll do better next time.

  5. All of a sudden, it’s 1999, my computer’s way too slow, and I’m dialing up the internet from a modem.

    Sad thing is, that’s not much different for me today, either.

    Except I have less hair now, too. That’s different.

  6. Look, it says right here on my Newton, which Jobs shouldn’t have discontinued last year and will reverse his decision soon, that “bloggers” are not journalists. Nearest I can get is that they’re in the timber industry and are probably threatening the spotted owl. No. You cannot be admitted to the Emerald City, now go away.

    BTW, I think CARS should ‘hire’ Rip Ragged to ‘write’ a ‘story’ some time. He has a very good ‘sense’ of humor, writes ‘well’ and matches his Garanamals ‘most days’ of the week. Though his brother said that he isn’t ‘wearing’ underwear this morning. (Hey, if he can randomly capitalize, I can randomly quote.)

    What do ‘you’ say Moltzy? I bet he’d work from some ‘crap’!

  7. Hey! You partying kids! Wipe that blog off my lawn!

    Hmmmpf. Pony crap, Nazguls, pterodactyl crap, and now blog. Kids have no respect these days…

  8. A day late and a podcast short, but…

    Wouldn’t “Finnish Day Laborers” be a good name for a band?

    More current: why would bloggers need to go to Macworld anyway? I mean, these rumor sites always get stuff right, so Macworld is just confirmation of stuff we already know.

    Oops. That was a monkey flying out of my butt.

  9. So, could I get into MacWorld if I made up a newspaper and said it had a web presence too, but just made sure that no real newspapers were made?

  10. podcasts! podcasts! Beam us some data mr. moltz!

  11. Germanium? I thought those were Geraniums!

    Sheeee. I want to party with YOU cowboy!

    Would you work for crap or do you have to take crap for free? Ya know, I’ll just go ahead and conduct the interview right now so Moltz can just cut and paste.

    How are you with working with talking quadrupeds?
    Asian lesbians (come back to us Masako!! Steve Jobs love you long time!)?
    Prehistoric hominids?
    We’ll have to give you medication in order to work with MacGruder.

    If you could be any type of keyboard, what kind would you be and why?

    What is the latest Apple rumor you’ve heard? Can you reveal your source?

    What is Phil Shiller’s birthday?

    Go like this. Does that hurt?

    Which psychic powers do you possess? Yea, I already knew that.

    Do you have your own car?
    Demon goat god?

    Have you ever tasted sunshine?
    A rainbow?
    Your Mac?
    Someone else’s Mac?

    Do you renounce having ever used any version of the Windows operating system and do you pledge your undying fealty to Steve Jobs?

    Can I borrow $10 till Tuesday?

    How do you spell ensephelitus? Hey! Not bad, you got it!

    Have you ever had a drinking problem? Would you be willing to attend special training in order to develop one?

  12. Repost….from the last thread where I wrongly put it the first time (twice). Because frankly, even though I almost never end a sentence with a preposition, I’m not all that swift.

    Now I’m mad. Who do they think they are anyway? It just isn’t fair. Before you know it they’ll be keeping out ballerinas, tappers, and ballroom dancers in general. I’m going to write a letter to my senator. This is clearly a violation of my first or second amendment rights, or possibly the Smoot-Hawley Act. Wait. Bloggers? Oh. I thought we were talking about cloggers.
    I want the AARP discount.
    Thank you.

  13. Let’s see. I already take a lot of crap at work so that’s no problem.
    I’m not sure about quadrapeds. Once in 1985 I discussed world peace with a moped, though. Does that count?
    Aliens? Si.
    Asian lesbians? Hmmm. I’ll have to see some video first.
    Prehistoric hominids? Mrs. Fromsky, my fifth grade teacher thought I was smart but lazy. Prehistoric, certainly. Hominid? Possibly.
    Medication. MMmmm.
    If I was a keyboard I would be one of those big steel monstrosities that used to come with IBM machines. Because they’re sturdy, and difficult to find.
    I heard that Apple is going to introduce an alternative fuel injection system (based on Finder 4.2) that uses organic guar. I can’t reveal my source. He could be killed, and he still owes me five bucks.
    We celebrate the birth of Phil every day.
    I knew you’d ask that.
    No. I alternately channel Curly Joe Howard, The Andrews Sisters, and Ed Meese.
    We don’t talk about jets outside the house.
    I have shoes. Are socks required?
    Varthag forbids public discussion of theological matters.
    How did you find out about the cats?
    No. But I have tasted tequila, and have decided that that will do fine.
    I’ve only tasted the keyboard. And it always tastes like beer.
    I’ve never drank beer from another man’s keyboard.
    I work for a government contractor. My fingers are tainted with the stench of Windows.
    Hail Steve Jobs! He introduceth useless crap that maketh enormous piles of money.
    Hail Steve Jobs! He maketh a freaking mp3 player seem important.
    Hail Steve Jobs! He maketh my gloating fun.
    Hail Steve Jobs! He maketh my stock portfolio fertile and fruitful.

    If I had $10, I’d be tipping a cocktail waitress right now.

    I don’t spell ensiphelitus. Ever.

    Yes. I have a drinking problem. Two hands, one mouth. Impossible.

  14. Rip – you’re starting to peak. Try not inhaling or you’ll be past your prime before anyone bookmarks your website.

    And Moltz, you can just step aside and let the comments take over. Take a week off, you deserve it, the guys’ll keep things covered for you. Don’t sweat it, we know jocularity when we feel it.

  15. Wait. Now that I think about, 2ABP, giving Moltzy all that time off might violate Union rules. You know, the guy has to get in a full week or he might not be able to get time and a half on the weekends.

    The economy of Bend, OR, is dependent on a certain and steady flow of Mirror Pond Pale Ale to the Tacoma area. John missing all that income could screw up the economy of the entire Pacific Northwest.

    This kind of thing has to be thought through carefully.

    Do I have a piece of spinach stuck in my teeth?

  16. Hey, look, if I could hire you, I’d hire you all.

    Except for the ones I’ve banned.

    And, OK, I’d probably hire Rip first.

    And then stop.

    But the fact of the matter is, the Entity has instituted a hiring freeze. My hands are tied.

    Seriously. I’m typing this with my nose.

    And I think that’s kale.


  17. That’s okay, John. Thank you for the kind words. I went ahead and started a blog anyway. I expect it to pay me almost as well as this one already does.

    And I would have done that even if it had been spinach, so don’t feel bad.

    The big problem for me now is: Where the hell did I get a mouthful of kale without knowing about it?

  18. Kale: a hardy cabbage with an erect stem and no compact head.

    I know you love it when I talk dirty.

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