Seen by some as having been given short shrift at January’s Macworld keynote, the Apple TV has recently been pumped up by speculation that it will be an industry-changing device that could beat Netflix and TiVo and will be more important than the iPhone.
As if that weren’t enough, Crazy Apple Rumors Site has learned that Apple’s digital media hub cemented its own legendary status by pulling a 3-year-old Oklahoma girl from a well over the weekend.
Little Kimberly McCain was playing with her cocker spaniel puppy (also present may have been butterflies, a pony and several characters from the Berenstain Bears) in her yard (which was covered in flowers) when she tripped (possibly over a kitten) and plunged 40 feet (which really should have killed her) into ankle-deep water (that may or may not have contained the trash compactor monster from Star Wars).
According to MacJournals editor and Oklahoma resident Matt Deatherage – who arrived at the scene after the incident, hoping the Apple TV was his and had simply been delivered to the wrong address – “McCain spent several hours calling for help while all the animals and animated characters just kind of stumbled around dumbly. This just confirms my long-held suspicion that Berenstain Bears are completely useless in an emergency.”
Asked where her parents were during this period, police chief Randall Phelps noted that McCain was an orphan, her parents having been killed last year in a freak zeppelin accident.
Turning and looking quizzically at McCain’s house, Phelps said “I don’t know if she’s been living here by herself since then or what. The whole thing is kind of weird, if you ask me. Like it wasn’t well thought out or something.”
McCain’s cries were eventually heard by a KOCO-TV Channel 5 news team that happened to be patrolling the area looking for white children that had fallen into wells. Within the hour, over 400 members of the media had gathered around the well. Police and firefighters pulled up shortly thereafter.
As authorities were admonishing themselves for not bringing any rope or a ladder, the Apple TV appeared on the scene.
“It was a white and chrome streak of toddler-saving hardware!” said firefighter Greg Murkowski. “It looped an HDMI cable over the railing of the well, jumped into it and lassoed little Kimberly with a component video cable and pulled her up. I have never seen anything like it in all of my two and a half months as a firefighter.”
The Apple TV also entertained the gathered media and emergency response teams by streaming the latest episode of Heroes to a 42-inch plasma television screen it was attached to.
“That’s a darn good show,” Murkowski noted. “I may have to tape that on my VHS.”
Before it left to be delivered to its rightful owner, the Apple TV reunited McCain with her parents who actually hadn’t been killed but had amnesia which the unit cured by virtue of being so shiny.
Apple spokesperson Cynthia McLaren said “That is so like the Apple TV.”