20 Mar 07Macs Are, Indeed, Gay.

Science has given us evidence of gay humans, gay apes, and even gay penguins. But the accusations of Microsoft fan boys that “Macs are gay” have always been considered to be nothing more than childish hyperbole.

Until now.

In what promises to be a shocking issue of the journal Nature for the Macintosh-using community (at least the part that’s not gay), zoologist Derek Park of the San Diego zoo will be the first to provide documented evidence of hot Mac on Mac action.

“I had never actually considered the possibility,” Park said “until I was able to observe some Macs in the wild.”

Park was in the Fashion Valley Apple Store and happened to catch a glimpse into the stock room when an associate left the door open.

“There they were all stacked up on top of each other like some bacchanalian Roman orgy of computer gayness. I was shocked at first. But then I thought, I’m a scientist. I should observe this behavior.

“Plus, I mean, I don’t swing that way, but it was so hot.”

Park’s research covers this observed behavior – which he calls “in-store mounting” – as well as several others such as the inherent gayness of Firewire target disk mode.

“I mean, come on. Anyone who’s seen lesbian porn knows what that’s all about.

“You know what I’m talkin’ about, am I right, fellas?

Bown-chicka-wacka-wacka-bowwwn.

Apple declined to comment, but the Village People could be heard playing in the background.

[Photo credit Michael Hanscom.]

53 Responses to “Macs Are, Indeed, Gay.”

  1. Hovard says:

    Thanks.
    Fine!
    Sample design…

  2. Candy says:

    I LOVE GAY COMPUTERS!!!!!

  3. Daniel says:

    Penquins do not have external sex organs…thier is no way to tell male from female. There is no gay/fag animals. It is just societal morphing to get you to embrace a godless society with no sense of morality. Antichrist is not far away.

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