New Shirts!

Many members of the Apple community have complained about the outrageous prices at some sites that sell t-shirts in order to support their crack habits.

Or maybe it’s heroin. Or smack. Or…

Wait, is smack the same thing as heroin?

Well, whatever dangerous addiction these hippie punks are all hopped up on (Goofballs? Maybe it’s goofballs) there’s no reason the more upstanding members of the Apple community should have to support it.

That’s why Crazy Apple Rumors Site is proud to announce new shirts that are reasonably priced at $19 (the Cafe Press minimum – we are not making a dime off of them) and don’t carry the taint of enabling someone who’d probably only blow it on something that is to their own personal moral detriment.

This is a Crazy Apple Rumors Site original design, not some cheap knock-off, so I don’t want to hear a lot of bitching and moaning about copyright.

Well, OK, they’re cheap. Of course they’re cheap. I mean, Cafe Press just does those iron-on jobbies…

But they’re totally original.

Totally.

Here, take a look:

Now where ya gonna find another shirt even remotely like that, beeotch? Nowhere, that’s where. It’s hip, it’s happenin’, it’s fresh, it’s keepin’ it real and it’s what the kiddies want.

At least the ones not all hopped up on goofballs.

This shirt is a limited edition run – in as much as there is a limited supply of cotton on the Earth – so act now.

Click here to buy!

And… you know… there will probably be some legal action. Possibly before dawn.

So click now!

Well?

Go on.

LATE-BREAKING UPDATE: This site – which I had never hear of before – seems to have appropriated our shirt concept for its entire design and now has the hubris to threaten us! Well, good luck with that! Everyone knows lesbian ninja sexbots beat bat-wielding thugs in the Russian mafia. Everyone.

55 thoughts on “New Shirts!”

  1. Trevor, you CAN buy one. At least tonight.

    And there is nothing I’d like more than to see the entire Apple community wearing these shirts. And they’re priced at the Cafe Press minimum. I don’t make a thing. My gift to you.

    Well, and Cafe Press, I guess.

  2. Well, it’s not real fur if that’s what you want to know.

    Cafe Press does some sort of laminate thing. I don’t know if it’s technically ironed-on by 9 year old Guatemalans but I think it’s heat-applied.

  3. I’d consider it if it were like the actual Gruber-made™ ones, high-quality water-based ink screen print on American Apparel by Oddica. I’d just settle for not CafePress, actually.

  4. If it comes with a 9 year old Guatemalan, i’ll buy one

    I’ve always wanted my own Guatemalan, ever since a crazy friend sent me Guatemalan worry dolls

  5. Moltz: just so you know, the guy modeling your shirt is named Dewey. No joke. I just can’t accept that. No buy.

  6. Gruber-made™ ones

    I have no idea what you’re talking about. Also, what’s that funny little “TM” thing?

  7. I’ll pass, but my Pants™ would like to order one.

    The problem, is the last time I gave my Pants™ a credit card, I found all sorts of charges on the next statment.

    Not gonna happen again. No sir!

  8. gimme a better, more colorful design please

    I think you’re missing the point here.

    Also, that would require work on my part. Na. Gonna. Happen.

  9. Really John. You know us Brits always wear bowler hats, three piece suits and black Oxford shoes, unless we are in the country, when it’s hacking jackets, jodhpurs and green wellies and that goes for the women as well. St. Reet rabbit will confirm that similar conventions are the norm in the antipodes.

    Now a tee of Steve wearing his turtle neck, thong, suspenders, fishnet stockings and stilettos, would gain approval in polite society.

  10. I’m not missing the point…here. I get it.

    I like color. Gruber’s drab and so are you. Grey, drab.

    Work? Work?!

  11. Even the olive green background color of CARS would be better than grey.. Gruber’s tee is grey because his background color is grey.

  12. I actually consistently refer to that site as “Darling Fireball” in my head and considered launching a parody under that domain name.

  13. I deny that John is John. There is no way that he could be him. I always see them together, so they must be distinct people.

    Also, I often see Clark Kent having coffee with Superman at Starbucks, but I never see Superman at the same time as Wonder Woman. Draw your own conclusions, but I wonder…

  14. Okay, I ordered one. Now just wait and see which one gets here first. The CARS version or the John-G version thats been underway for four months now… 🙂

  15. “limited supply of cotton on Earth”? Who would have thought.

    Perhaps it’s time for us here on the ranch to start breeding whatever animal it is that cotton comes from.

  16. Cheers for pointing out that the Yankees represent a personal moral detriment.

    It’s what us Red Sox fans have been saying for years.

    The furball looks like a tribble to me. Calling Harcourt Fenton Mudd (aka Roger C. Carmel)!

  17. The furball isn’t doing it for me, but the other shirts… Sexbot tester or Checklist? Damn, that’s a tough choice! Have to think about that.

    If there were an Artie MacStrawman shirt this decision would be so easy.

  18. Will it take 5 months to receive it with no explanation as to why? Because that was part of the charm of ordering a daring fireball tshirt.

  19. Mr. Moltz the spam filter is eating my posts. I’m tricking it by pretending to not be Del, but I don’t know how long until it figures out who I am.

  20. I will order one if, and only if, you promise to take my money, not ship the shirt for at least six months, and ignore all of my requests for a status of my order.

    If you read the fine print on gruber’s site this is what I unwittingly agreed to when I sent him money for tshirts.

  21. I’d like two. Just bring them to my house. I’ll give you the money when you get here.

    Stop and pick up a six-pack of Thunderhead IPA on your way. And a loaf of bread. Thanks.

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