The Difference Between iPods and Tribbles.

In a report to be published in the journal Science next month, researchers at the MIT Department of Xenobiology will reveal the results of a 3-year study to determine the differences between iPods and Tribbles.

While there are many similarities, scientists have determined one key differentiator. Crazy Apple Rumors Site has obtained a key chart from the upcoming article.

Dr. Henry Cheng of the Department said “Actually, the whole thing started as a joke, but then we got the grant money and we figured we kind of had to publish something.”

Cheng said his next research will focus on certain areas of the female anatomy.

“Totally. I mean, hey, if they’re just giving grant money away…”

33 thoughts on “The Difference Between iPods and Tribbles.”

  1. Klingons only hate them because they’re soft and absorbent, and don’t leave and awkward and frankly kinda gross lint.

  2. Too lazy to google Tribble so assume they are chocolate bidets. Am I right or wrong?

    Happy Beltane everyone.

  3. Sorry, not appropriate to wish a Happy Beltane to those in the Southern Hemisphere.

    And eleven.

  4. The trouble with tribbles is, if you feed them after midnight they turn into steve balmer clones. If these Steve Balmer clones are exposed to light, they burn up to a crisp given their white pasty complexion. Never ever get them wet, or they might install the MS version of Ubuntu on all of your computers and iPods. When they feel threatened, the scream and jump up and down like a howler monkey on a combo of speed and crack, and then pull down their pants and squirt you with their Zune’s.

    Trust me, you want nothing to do with those tribbles.

  5. > if they’re just giving grant money away

    “If”? Have you seen some of the crap that gets published? Cancer this and disease that, blah blah blah. Science, where are my flying cars and space lasers? Hover boots? Meal pills? SEXBOTS???

    Wait, I think the commercial sector has that last one covered.

  6. Not fifteen minutes before reading this I bought a tribble for my mom at the Star Trek Experience store (online, not the actual one in Las Vegas). Seriously.

    It turns out tribbles take AA batteries, which is a real advantage over the iPod’s hard-to-replace battery.

  7. iPods hold up better than tribbles to poisoned quatrotritikaily (how ever the hell it’s spelled)

  8. Tribbles have the obvious advantage of reproducing themselves at will. If only Apple would perfect the iPod Mating Dock, I’d wouldn’t have to buy another present for anyone ever.

  9. Never need to tell a tribble to go screw him/her self, they are born prescrewed.

  10. Bah, Tribbles would so kick the living shit out of Furbies OMGHAX, any day of the week.

    Hhmmm, I just gave myself an idea. Furball fights! Like cock fights, but cuter and more furry.

    Damn, I just gave you an idea too. PATENT PENDING!! PATENT PENDING!! PATENT PENDING!!

  11. I know for a fact that Klingons do hate iPods, as I am one. (A Klingon, that is)

    And I….

    excuse me?

    I’m not?

    oh….

    Sorry. Ignore my last comment.

  12. Oh! That reminds me! I finally saw that “Godzilla” remake (with Matthew Broderick, I think).

    Anyway, Godzilla had laid eggs, and baby Godzillas were hatching, and the scientists said that the babies were born pregnant, yada yada.

    I think the Tribbles should sue Godzilla for concept infringement (or would that be conception infringement?)!

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