21 May 07Apple Sued For Failure To Deliver Implied Ponies.

Just hours after being sued by a group complaining that MacBook screens do not actually display millions of colors but only hundreds of thousands, Apple was hit by another lawsuit.

A group of customers is alleging the company has failed to produce on an implied promise that every Apple product comes with a free pony.

“While it was never explicitly stated in any of their materials,” attorney Leonard Embree said, “Everyone I know thinks that that Macs come with ponies.

“It’s just a given. You buy a Mac, an iPod, an Apple TV, and you get a free pony.

“But check the message boards at Apple’s support site and you’ll see hundreds of users complaining that so far there have been no ponies. Where are the ponies, Mr. Jobs? Where. Are. The. Ponies?”

For his part, CEO Steve Jobs insisted there was never any contractual obligation on Apple’s part to supply ponies.

“We’ve been very clear about this,” Jobs said. “Any ponies that might result from owning Apple products are simply an end result. So, buying an iPod might make you more attractive to wild ponies that may just start showing up at your doorstep. Or, buying a Mac might make you more productive and therefore you might find the time to take up the care and feeding of a diminutive equine.

“Although, why you’d want to do that is beyond me. Of course, I just ride my employees around so I don’t really have use for some hay-eating poop factory.”

As a side note, Jobs claimed that it is a well-documented fact that the human eye can only see 18 colors.

“So, this whole business about whether the MacBook displays hundreds of thousands or millions is simply academic.”

No Responses to “Apple Sued For Failure To Deliver Implied Ponies.”

  1. Dreil says:


  2. The Hari says:

    First? Really?

  3. Dreil says:

    Of course, I just ride my employees around so I don’t really have USE for some hay-eating poop factory.”

    typo Moltz?

    P.S Sign me up for this lawsuit

  4. Nxxx says:

    Hmmm. Ponies.

    Yum yum!

  5. Don of Doom says:

    4th 4th 4th!!!

  6. His Steveness says:

    Ponies, yihaw…

  7. John Moltz says:

    Uh, maybe if I spelled it phonetically? “I don’t really have yoos for some hay-eating poop factory.” As opposed to “I don’t really have yooz for some hay-eating poop factory.”

  8. disgruntled cynic says:

    Redundant ‘that’, paragraph 3, line 2. Incorrect use of ‘may’, paragraph 7, line 3.

    Use of the phrase ‘diminutive equine’, plus 5 bonus. Previous mistakes will be overlooked.

  9. Carbonfish says:

    Back to good old number NINE!

  10. John Moltz says:

    OK, those I fixed. Although that second one was obviously a typo, not an incorrect usage.

  11. Carbonfish says:

    Well now I feel a little guilty. I got my pony just a few weeks after bought my first Apple II.

    It was a BASIC pony, but it was a pony nonetheless.

    Sorry about all those who might still be waiting.

  12. OMGHAX says:

    18 colors? Beile, chourny, sineye, krasne, zelone, jeulte… That’s only 6.

  13. Ace Deuce says:

    Red, green, blue.

    End of story.

  14. Dreil says:

    Heh I meant have ‘a use’ or whatever

  15. e says:

    I believe this lawsuit is similar to the one I brought against apple when the pony I received simply didn’t match my Blue Dalmatian iMac.

    Did I say Pony? I meant “My Little Pony”. And it was actually a gift from my fiance along with the iMac. Thoroughly embarrassing revealing THAT in court, let me tell you.

    But in my defense, it WAS pink, and clearly didn’t match the iMac. You see, because I see 7 colors.

  16. Too all-beef patty says:

    Pony up, Apple.

  17. Gifford Rodine says:

    Vista, now there’s a one trick pony.

    Ask Soros, according to the radio he’s buying.

  18. Klayman says:

    I got a Pony when I bought my iMac. It came advertised as having “millions of hairs”… but I counted them! That thing got only 874.509 individual hairs. Besides, I found the pony wasn’t either “grainy” nor “sparkly” nor could it even properly spell “dithering” in spite of my efforts with specially arranged cardboard letters. And it ate the chalk to. And it’s kinda smelly.

    I think I’m gonna sue them as well, you think I got grounds for it with all of this?

  19. Rip Ragged says:

    That’s what I need. A Pony. And two more incomes. And a flower garden full of peonies and violets and frigging tulips.

    I’ll bet you thought that was going somewhere. Well it wasn’t. I have to go to my job, now.

  20. Abe Lincolnlogski says:

    OK, can someone clarify for me, is it “have use” or have a use”. This is going to drive me crazy all day.

    ******* Heros Spoiler warning **********

    And what was with 21 episodes of buildup for a wimp ass 2 min battle, and then they fly away and blow up. Come on!!!!!

  21. blank says:

    I dithered over whether or not to post today. I guess I made the wrong choice.

    On my income, I consider myself lucky to get hundreds of thousands of anything. Ungrateful bastards!

  22. redeyebase says:

    When in a quandry, always post. That’s my motto and I’m sticking by it.

  23. kingthedestroyer says:

    Ponies, we don’t need no stinkin’ poinies, ˇ

  24. Del says:

    I have a complaint. I’ve only bought a few Apple products, but every day thousands of ponies keep getting delivered to my property. It’s not so bad, I’ve taught them how to type and they earn a little money doing data entry and online news. I really don’t need any more.

    Maybe I should just train them as ninjas. No one expects a pony ninja.

  25. NWJR says:

    I believe they promised “My LITTLE Pony” (emphasis mine).

    And where the hell are the singing cats?

  26. There’s a reason there’s no ponies. Apple’s conceived rep in regards to ecology is bad enough without having to admit to supplying folks with hay-making poop factories. Although equine poop would probably be considered green. Not green-colored, though – afaik, most road apples are pretty brown.

  27. Del says:

    I also seem to be getting everyones free special edition SexBots that Apple is sending to all it’s loyal customers. At least I have help taking care of the ponies.

  28. Streetrabbit says:

    FACT: The ponies are coming from Anturro Prime (a.k.a. Planet of The Ponies) in the Large Magellanic Cloud. Jobs launched the cattle class cruiser, Equus I, in December of 1991 manned with a genetically engineered crew of ‘Space Wranglers’. Given the 360,000 light year round trip to the LMC, the first shipment of ponies is expected to arrive the first Tuesday of May 3017.

  29. scared monster, better known as Le Chef De La Cuisine, says:

    Mmmmmhh…Who let his pony do his things in my kitchen, and didn’t clean up the mess ?
    The reason no one excepts a pony ninja is that pony are strictly unable to kill anyone. They look at people with their great hairy eyelided eyes and wait for sugar. Inept.
    No even suitable for any meal. Would need some two-days marinade to soften that fibrous loveful flesh.

    And…I thought Apple employees were fed with hay, was I wrong ?

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