22 May 07Nothing Happened In The Apple World Today.

While several sites did report a smatter of news, analysts agree that nothing of consequence happened in the Apple world today.

Indeed, the day was so inconsequential, that sources in Cupertino say tumbleweeds were seen to blow across Infinite Loop as CEO Steve Jobs and COO Tim Cook stood and watched.

“It’s quiet,” Jobs noted.

“Yeah,” Cook agreed, chewing a piece of straw. “Too quiet.”

Despite the utter lack of activity on the Apple campus, senior vice president of worldwide marketing Phil Schiller’s bulletin board still held an ironically-captioned sticker claiming “If you think this place is dead now, you should see it around quitting time.”

The Apple campus wasn’t the only place where nothing was happening. Third-party software developers, iPod accessory makers and other peripheral manufacturers had all but taken the day off.

At the Wall Street Journal, Walt Mossberg took a three hour nap. Across town at the New York Times, David Pogue leaned back in his chair and tossed pencils into the ceiling tiles.

Apple didn’t so much decline to comment for this story as it really just didn’t have anything to say.

“Phewwww,” Jobs breathed.

“Eeeeyup,” Cook sighed.

No Responses to “Nothing Happened In The Apple World Today.”

  1. Tao says:

    First? it’s a first!

  2. donmario says:

    First! and I never even read the story! yes.

  3. donmario says:

    damm! Second and Third.

  4. MCJEvans says:

    Unclaimed ordinal integer!
    You won’t catch me claiming an already claimed position.

  5. Yourmedic says:


  6. Carbonfish says:

    I’m just stalling long enough to land on LUCKY NUMBER SEVEN!

  7. Devon Shaw says:

    You missed the chance to call it Slevin. 😛

  8. Nxxx says:

    You’ve posted this one in the colours a Mac wont show, and therefore is only visible by careful colour manipulation.
    Sorry. Mistake. Was wearing my really dark shades.

  9. OMGHAX says:

    Ah, a nice, refreshing, relaxing… wait. What’s that ticking sound?

  10. Ace Deuce says:

    As Crazy Guggenheim was wont to say, “Just hangin’ around … we weren’t doin’ nuttin.”

    Maybe the Apple World was trying to make a statement with nothingness.

  11. redeyebase says:


  12. redeyebase says:

    “David Pogue leaned back in his chair and tossed pencils into the ceiling tiles.”

    What a minute, that sounds like Mulder … hmmm…

  13. Panduemonium says:

    Actually it was a busy apple news day… Balmer et all just successfully ran the beta test of the Apple News Suppression Effect Program ANSEP….. Good thing there are truly vast numbers of PCs in the un-named M$ site.. fifeteen seconds (on average) running the program before TBSOD..so the M$ solution…. are we thinking dominos… they had enough to last a day.

  14. Streetrabbit says:

    Nice imagery, very therapeutic.

    I give it a seven.

    Once I’ve wrestled this crocodile and dealt with the bear savaging my campsite, I might take a little nap.

  15. pauldwaite says:

    Hey, that was my day yesterday too! Did NOTHING. Sweet, sweet sloth.

  16. Grammer nazi says:

    That’s not irony!

    Its very important to allways use the correct grammar and spelling, otherwise nobody will ever understand you.

    Also, hyperbole is right out.

  17. scared monster, better known as Le Chef De La Cuisine, says:

    It’s a such nothing happenigness that I feel I’m in a nothing commentingness mood.

  18. thelairster says:

    This post is as old as I am. Sigh.

  19. kingthedestroyer says:

    Could this be the calm before the storm??????Ä

  20. blank says:

    “Its very important to allways use the correct grammar and spelling…”

    It’s also important to remember that the apostrophe is your friend, not to mention the dictionary.

    “Now that’s irony!” –Bender

  21. Grammer [sic] nazi says:

    Point for blank. I was worried that nobody was going to get the joke.

  22. Dima says:


  23. blank says:

    Aw shucks, I just wanted the excuse to insert a Futurama quote.

  24. Lament says:

    I operated my Powerbook yesterday.

    Alas, I am out of sync with the motherland.
    The gnashing of the teeth and tearing of the clothings and the putting of the dust upon the head tops.

  25. Rip Ragged says:

    Sorry I’m late. Did I miss anything?

    Look! An airplane.

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