27 Sep 07Apple Updates iPhone.

Apple released the iPhone update 1.1.1 which added several key features – most notably the iTunes WiFi Store – but also removed some hacks.

While hackers complained about Apple’s attempts to “keep them down”, some users expressed surprise at the update status messages that appear as the iPhone is updated. Users reported seeing the following messages as they attempted to jank up their iPhones with the latest Apple digital love.

Extracting software…

Preparing iPhone for software update…

Deleting that hacker shit you installed on our beautiful, pristine hardware. You know what? Each time someone jailbreaks an iPhone, Steve dies a little inside. Are you happy now? Are you?!

Updating iPhone software…

Updating iPhone firmware…

I see you have an entry in the Weather app for Trenton. Um… Trenton. Pshew. It’s just… Well, OK.

Verifying iPhone update…

Wait a minute…

“Who Let The Dogs Out”? You have “Who Let The Dogs Out”? Dude, this is an 8 GB phone. I mean, maybe on a 160 GB iPod classic, but what is this, 2000? What’s that all about?

I’m starting to be a little concerned that you don’t deserve an iPhone. No, seriously. We put a lot of effort into these things and we’re not about to see you crap them up.

Well, we should just brick this thing but we’re going to let it pass this one time…

Wha-what the hell is this?! Creed?! You have Creed on here? Oh, you’re bricked, buddy. You’re so bricked.

Other users reported trouble with the Spin Doctors and downloaded episodes of anything with Bob Saget.

28 Responses to “Apple Updates iPhone.”

  1. Glenn Fleishman says:

    Frickin’ First! Eat it Brick! Eat a Brick! Firstee!

  2. Huh? says:

    Ok, that’s just going overboard…
    Bob Saget ROCKS!!!!

    Well, maybe not…

  3. Nxxx says:

    Everytime you hack an iPhone, Steve dies a little?

    How many do I have to beg, borrow or steal to knock him off completely?

    Bring back the Woz.

  4. digitalcowboy says:

    That last part’s kinda weird because when I checked my iTunes library a few days ago for ring tone enabled tracks, Spin Doctors greatest hits album was one of the few available to me.

    It was almost enough to push me over the edge and get an iPhone. I kinda like the idea that when my wife calls my iPhone it could alert me with, “Been a whole lot easier since the bitch left town. Been a whole lot easier without her face around.”

    (I keed. I luv my wife.)

  5. Ace Deuce says:

    Since I haven’t heard any of the offending music mentioned I feel that either the references have become too abstruse, or else I’m so far out of the nouveau mainstream I’m hip again. That band Trenton: is it anything like Chicago or Boston? Can a band only be named after a metropolis whose major league baseball team is worn on the feet?

    The Trenton iPod Sox?

  6. Streetrabbit says:

    I fully expected the update to make the iPhone grow meccano style arms holding death rays and little circular saw type weapons.

    Shows what I know. Hrmph!

  7. ryan says:

    People with baha men and creed on their phone deseve to have it bricked! tasteless bastards!!!

    but I am soo not updating my phone…. I don’t need any judgment against my Justin Timberlake.

    BTW… top ten!!! maybe 7… lucky number se7en

  8. Kenbod says:

    Eight? No, I don’t deserve a place in the top ten! There are typically 1000s of (okay, er, greater than 10) comments before I get around to reading one of these fine pieces of comedy.

  9. Tom says:

    kaboom brick

  10. zbrimhall says:

    10?? No way. Man, now I need to say something clever.

    *stage fright*

    I’ll just go, then. Yes, that’s what I’ll do…

  11. 11 says:

    First post!

  12. scared monster, better known as The No Friend Boy, says:

    Since I have no one to call (the gas services do not count, do they ?)
    since I have no musical taste
    I can go on with a brick.

  13. Streetrabbit says:

    How discriminating has the update been? Has it left “Scenes From An Italian Restaurant” or has it creamed all of Billy Joel?

    These are things we Australians won’t have to think about when we get our 3G 200GB iPhone. Booyah!

  14. Streetrabbit says:

    Ace Deuce, I’ve been nervous about buying Boston’s “Boston” again. Will mp3 somehow violate the vinyl memory of Tom Scholz?

    Who can say?

    How much of Rush survived the update?

  15. nonlinerG says:

    To hell with those chinese bricking all the peecees, we can do the iPhone ourselves.

    Don’t you just love BTT.

  16. Ash says:

    I’ve heard there’s a bonus message that only appears if you’ve purchased Sofa Rockers Remix, Eple, and Bytecry from the iTunes Store.

    Although I’ve heard conflicting reports over whether it acknowledges you as an Apple fanboy or if it snidely remarks that a true fanboy would’ve known the song from the upcoming Leopard installer too.

  17. Joe Anonymous says:

    Is Barry Manilow OK with the iPhone firmware?

  18. If only they REALLy had AI like this that did updates- it would make the whole process more entertaining, at the very least.

  19. DW says:

    Boy, it’s sure a slow Friday.


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  21. blank says:

    Damn, I hate to give M$ any credit at all, but you’d never see this sort of thing with a Zune. They figure that if you’ve bought one of those you’re already so tasteless it doesn’t matter what crap you listen to.

    Typing that was actually painful. Reading it probably is too.


  22. Loose Leaf says:

    Yeah, but the Zune would only let you listen to it 5 times. Then you would have to buy the tracks all over again.

  23. Walking Contradiction says:

    Blank, that was just not right. Go sit in the corner for 5 minutes, you’re on timeout dude. Next time think of other’s poor eyes before you torture them with noise like that.

    Ryan, Justin Timberlake? Dude, you so deserve to be bricked.

  24. CB says:

    Leaving the confines [slowly] of down under, back in civilization with good bandwidth, i’d just like to say that i’m keeping my iPhone intact and [not]-updated until iToner works with 1.1.1

    That’s all. We now return you to your regularly scheduled program.

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  26. Ahnyer Keester says:

    Yea, it did that to me when it got to my Cutting Crew collection. The update let it slide till it saw that I have the first season of 90210 then it bricked me.

    But really, the updater was right.

  27. Joel says:

    Just like those bastards to make a big deal about having Trenton on my weather widget. Hey, it’s not my fault I was born there. Now if only my iPhone could convince my parents to move…

    get crackin’, Apple!

  28. Ed says:

    It totally makes sense that Apple disallows third party applications on their IPhones. I mean, if you could install whatever you liked, then you’d have insecure shit like Windows Mobile. And we don’t want that. So, to recap, Apple = Locked Down Secure Hardware = Fascist Exchange of Freedom for Security, and Windows = Freedom to install whatever you like = More Freedom but Less Security. I guess y’all support the PATRIOT ACT too.