26 Nov 07CYBER APOCALYPSE ALERT! THREAT LEVEL: BALLMER!

Fresh back from the Thanksgiving holiday, I wish I had something thankful to report, but sadly I bring you only..

KILLER ROBOT RAMPAGE! (Not to be confused with the band of the same name.)

Thanks to Macworld’s Peter Cohen for the tip. There’s a guy who’s got the proper level of concern about robots sneaking into his house at night, knocking the furniture over and stealing his liver.

I don’t know what robots would do with a human liver. Possibly put it in some hideous killer cyborg, possibly just stick it in a jar of formaldehyde and put it up high on a shelf in their basement and forget about it until about ten years later when they went down there to find some carpet tacks and see it and say “Oh, there’s that human liver! Hey, Theo! Remember when I was looking all over for that human liver a couple of years ago?! Ha-ha! Ahhh… Biddy-biddy.”

Either way, pretty gruesome. One of your major organs roaming a post-apocalyptic landscape in a destructive metal behemoth or having it spend eternity next to Twiki’s washers.

Although the latter’s clearly worse. I mean… Twiki for Christ’s sake. How humiliating.

Anyway, here’s hoping your Thanksgiving holiday wasn’t filled will Ballmer-esque automatons tossing chairs and shouting “Developers! Developers! Developers!” and sweating all over the place.

Kind of makes your drunk uncle Rudy’s antics look tame, don’t it?

23 Responses to “CYBER APOCALYPSE ALERT! THREAT LEVEL: BALLMER!”

  1. Nxxx says:

    And now I’ve read it.
    Was it worth it?

  2. Four! For forty for four!

    Oh! And I stopped Nxxx’s reign of terror in the comments, too. Or four!

  3. Missing digit says:

    Four fingers an a thumb… do they cound as one?

  4. Missing digit says:

    Clearly the thicker, mor substancial thumb counts for extra!

  5. Missing digit says:

    so thats four fingers an a thumb (whgich is four) to give… eeerrr…

  6. Carbonfish says:

    Hahahaha… “Furniture smashin’ robotic rampage”. And to think that I was thinking of getting my elderly old mom one of those things to help her in and out of her chair.. heh, heh.

    Guess maybe I’ll look at some of the others before I let a Hitachi loose in amongst the old mombo’s settees and highboys.

    Robots, sure they’re cute and all, but never forget where that “killall” switch is.

    I’m just sayin’

  7. FilmPhotoWeb says:

    Darn. My robot fails me again. 10.

  8. CB says:

    Aarrrrgh… missed this one. Robots, kill.

  9. Jesper says:

    I think he prefers it as just the one, melded word.

    “Drunkle Rudy”.

    Says it makes him sound like some kind of super hero. But then he asked me repeatedly if I was looking at him, followed by assuring me repeatedly that he was just joking and that I’m alright.

    I just don’t know.

  10. Ace Deuce says:

    Reporter: Are you a clean liver?
    Groucho: No, but I’m a pretty dirty pancreas!

  11. Huh? says:

    I like the other post better.

    Plus I didn’t get the top three comments in this one.

  12. Almost 20 says:

    Okay, maybe Twiki, but never Dr. Theopolis. He just don’t … er… hang that way.

  13. Streetrabbit says:

    If the robots are alcoholics this makes sense.

    Otherwise I don’t understand why they aren’t stealing heads.

  14. elfle says:

    What about the robot cannon rampage in South Africa! As if smashing furniture weren’t bad enough, they give them guns! http://blog.wired.com/defense/2007/10/robot-cannon-ki.html

  15. TuCats says:

    What would the robots do with a human liver, you ask? Make pâté, of course!

    As an aside, I have a complaint. At the bottom of the comments page, I was offered Bi Zithromax. However, when I clicked on the link, it was quite clearly lesbian Zithromax, which was not helpful and in fact rebuffed my earnest advances.

  16. John Moltz says:

    Masako has temporarily managed to delete the spammer links. We’ll be doing a WordPress upgrade later today.

  17. Sudo Nym says:

    Carbonfish said: “Robots, sure they’re cute and all, but never forget where that ‘killall’ switch is.”

    And, um…. make sure you know what the “killall” switch does, too. Because it might not be what you think.

  18. blank says:

    It still saddens me that doing the voice of that damned robot was Mel Blanc’s last job. He deserved better.

    At the very least he should have been allowed to say, “Biddy, Biddy Biddy…Bite me Buck!”

  19. Walking Contradiction says:

    CYBER APOCALYPSE ALERT!

    Gasp, not another one!

    THREAT LEVEL: BALLMER!

    Oh, this sounds serious!

    KILLER ROBOT RAMPAGE!

    Oh, that. Naw, you misunderstand … it was just Bender experimenting with some home made booze. “Bite my shiny metal ass” isn’t a threat.

    Man, you had me scared for a second there!

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