53 thoughts on “To listen to me is to love me”

  1. Posting articles in the morning is so proletarian, Mr. Moltz. How are we elite supposed to compete?

  2. My “take away” from the meeting is that bacon and pudding should do a job share. That way each would have time to work on her own side projects.

  3. I’ll have to listen to the podcast later, but for now, I keep thinking of pudding-soaked bacon.

    Kinda nice, actually.

  4. WOW!

    John in a podcast.

    That’s awesome.

    You know who would make a great podcast, I bet John would.

    Maybe he could get another guy by the name of Jon together and they could make a podcast together. Wow, what a great idea.

    Why has no one ever thought of this before.

    If only I could think of a name for such a thing.

  5. @TJ.

    Just a thought: maybe John No.2 could be *considerably bigger* than John No.1 (not hard, to be honest)?

    Would that help with the name at all, d’you think?

    Man I’m smart!

    My juices are really flowing today.

    And not just at the thought of the Double-John-Whammy.

    Mmmm – Double-John-Whammy….

  6. Mr. Moltz seems to have soured on the whole issue of sexbot futures. Being now married with children, with pets, with fleas — perhaps sexbots no longer figure into his plans. But what about you? Are sexbots no longer on your radar? Do you fear underdeveloped intimacy circuits, or kernel panics? Perverted minds want to know.

  7. It might have been the result of finally watching that hygiene movie from middle school, “Don’t Date Robots!!!”

  8. I can’t help it. I see Gort, and I can’t help thinking “1951, obviously.” I see Robbie, and “1956” comes immediately to mind. Rosie is clearly 1962, and so on.

  9. @13:
    If bacon and pudding worked for Google, they could do their side projects under their 20% time.

    Unless they’ve been cut. Which I think is easier to do with bacon than pudding. Have you ever tried to cut pudding?

  10. “Gort in 1951” is the correct answer! Thanks for playing!

    If anyone answered “Gort in two thousand-something,” well, better luck next time!

  11. ‘Listen to me . . . now listen to me’.

    Hmmmm. Where have I heard that before.

    Someone pass me the bent nail.

  12. [Silly is seen to be sitting very calmly at a table with his hands folded serenely in front of him. His eyes stare out at you, unblinking, from the emotionless expression on his face. He steadily and incessantly nods his head slowly up and down while keeping his gaze fixed firmly on you. Unable to resist returning his penetrating gaze, you notice that Silly has even gone so far as to stuff cotton in his ears in order to muffle the distracting “cashews in a can” rattle that so often accompanies his cranial agitations. Silly speaks slowly, clearly, and with a tone of certainty that is so absolute, even his questions have the same impact as declarative statements of fact.]

    You ARE going to WWDC, aren’t you, John?

    You ARE going to file a CARS report from there, aren’t you?

    That’s right. Very good!

    You’re going to have a good time! All your friends are going to be there, and they’ll all be so happy to see you!

    Thaaat’s right… Verrry gooood!

  13. I think Somebody would be offended about you telling him or her to get a life. Assuming that Somebody reads that comment.

  14. Once again, it’s the Silly Rabbit and Sue show. What hare-brained antics will ensue?

  15. We are back to Coney Island now.

    (Hope that play on words is amusing on your side of the Pond.)

  16. [Silly is still sitting calmly at the table, nodding and staring intently, when the door to the room opens. Silly enters the doorway. He is wearing Maison Martin Margiela L’Incognito Sunglasses in a bright chrome finish; a sleek, white, custom-made Italian silk suit; a Psycho Bunny silk tie in a white-on-white diamond pattern; and a truly unique pair of snazzy, all-white Trickers. He raises one hand and pulls the sunglasses down a little, look over the top of them at you, and smiles charmingly.]
    Found it, did you? Wonderful!
    [Silly takes off the sunglasses as he sits down in a chair next to his automaton double, which is still nodding hypnotically. He tosses the sunglasses down on the table carelessly. He then relaxes back in the chair, crosses his legs and strikes a truly stylish pose. He extends one arm and an open hand at the ersatz coney* and beams.]
    Brilliant, isn’t it? Paddington’s idea, actually. It’s the quiet ones who are really clever, aren’t they?
    [Silly lowers his hand, then lurches in his chair a little, as though he extended one leg toward the chair next to him and kicked it. The mechanical Silly bounces just a little, and then begins to speak.]
    You ARE going to WWDC, aren’t you, John?
    You ARE going to file a CARS report…
    [The Real Silly once again lurches a little, the Artificial Silly once again bounces a little, and it goes back to simply nodding. Real Silly smiles in honest appreciation and shakes his head.]
    That Gromit… quite the craftsman, isn’t he? Wallace would be lost without him. But you knew that, didn’t you? Another one of those quiet yet competent individuals…
    [Silly now turns toward you and leans forward on the table so that — but for the flashy suit and all — he looks just like his look-alike. He first lowers his head humbly and then raises his head to look you straight in the eye.]
    Look… I’m sorry if this seems like a deception… I suppose it is, actually… but I did want John to know that we miss him and would love to hear from him again, and I thought that this next WWDC would be a perfect opportunity for another one of his entertaining missives to hit the CARS tableau, if you will. But then, I just got so busy — what with the public appearances, and, of course, the Trix gig, and the rush of parties at the end of the social season… well, it just got ahead of me, I guess, and I had to find another way to get the message across. So… here we are. I hope you understand, and will take this in the sincere spirit in which it was intended.
    [Silly picks up his sunglasses, rises from his chair, and moves toward the door.]
    Anyway, thanks for hearing me out. Gotta run, though. Hello Kitty is having another one of her big fetes on one of the islands just south of Kyushu, and she said she’d be disappointed if I didn’t make a showing. And believe me, you don’t want to disappoint her… you wouldn’t believe the money and the power she wields.
    [He is about to pass through the doorway when he suddenly halts and looks back over his shoulder at you. He holds one hand up to his head and fully extends his thumb and pinky while holding the other fingers closed, so that it looks like he’s holding a telephone handset. He flashes a disarming smile.]
    Oh… and Sue… call me, girl! Let’s “do lunch” or something, eh? Maybe you can get that taste of hassenpfeffer you’ve been craving, hmm?
    [An enchanting glint flickers at the corner of Silly’s grin.]
    Ciao, people!
    [Silly leaves. Through the doorway you hear him speak one more time.]
    Don’t worry… someone will be by to pick up all that equipment.

    * “Coney” is Copyright 2009 by Nxxx, All Rights Reserved. Used without permission, but nonetheless with all due respect.

  17. So Silly, my tastes are a bit higher on the evolutionary scale.

    Love Wallace and Gromit.

  18. I detest this low down effort to make John return to work. If you want the WWDC, go there yourself. With a suitably impressive weapon, you’ll get in.
    Or shot.

  19. Is that all it takes to make John write a new post? A series of inane comments?

    Don’t want to go to WWDC. Just want me a big iPod Touch.


  20. Читаю и чувствую себя как дома. Спасибо создателям за хороший ресурс!

  21. Will His Holiness, Saint John of Moltz appear to us, his true followers, this week?
    May we have another miracle triggered by the WWDC, or whatever it is called?
    Will the Blessed Saint Steve lay his hands on a Mac Mini and instal Quad Duos?

  22. I’m sensing . . . an iPhone the size of a barn!

    With a warp drive the size of a walnut!

    And with a price tag of 99¢! and a mobile contract that locks you in until the heat-death of the universe!!

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