No words. They should have sent a poet.
Yours truly appeared on the Macworld Pundit Showdown with Andy Ihnatko, Adam Engst, Dan Moren and moderator Jason Snell. Thrill to the sounds of vacuous Mac jerks as they pretend to compete for points and something resembling a thin veneer of respectability. The competitiveness, pathos and excitement of a professional sporting event are, sadly, completely lacking from this hour of entertainment that the Des Moines, Iowa Macintosh Users Group newsletter called “Not worth reviewing.”
For you, however, sitting in your first floor apartment, eating Fiddle Faddle and watching episodes of the original Battlestar Galactica on Blu Ray while Googling cheesecake pictures of Maren Jensen and trying to resist the temptations of the flesh, well,
Yours truly appeared on the Macworld Pundit Showdown with Andy Ihnatko, Adam Engst, Dan Moren and moderator Jason Snell.
Thrill to the sounds of vacuous Mac jerks as they pretend to compete for points and something resembling a thin veneer of respectability. The competitiveness, pathos and excitement of a professional sporting event are, sadly, completely lacking from this hour of entertainment that the Des Moines, Iowa Macintosh Users Group newsletter called “Not worth reviewing.”
For you, however, sitting in your first floor apartment, eating Fiddle Faddle and watching episodes of the original Battlestar Galactica on Blu Ray while Googling cheesecake pictures of Maren Jensen and trying to resist the temptations of the flesh, facing yet another Christmas alone having alienated everyone you once held dear, well, it might be good for you.
CARS is the fount of all wisdom, or is this too soon?
It’s hard to decide whether more of the wisdom is coming from Moltz, or from those making the comments.
The latter clearly: the Moltzmeister has been phoning it in since the ‘Mac Crib’ debacle.
Indeed, instead of just concentrating on being witty, he’s instead invested his energies in building a time machine with which he has been raiding the future for our *hilarious* comments, then re-working them as his ‘new’ posts in the here and now.
For example Steve G talks about the ‘Macworld Pundit Showdown’ stuff sometime in August 2014.
Moreover, the reason the Moltz-post-frequency has dropped is that we’re all refusing to comment in the future as a protest at his temporal tomfoolery and he is now having to ration his plagiarism to ensure he doesn’t run out of material before we become aware of it and stop posting the past.
Oh yes.
I’m traveling back in time (from August 2014 to January 2011) to post this comment.
You might find it refreshing to know that I’m still alive in 2014. And that this time machine works.
Do y’all want me to fill in some important information for you, or would you like to be surprised? Don’t worry about that whole “Time Cop” thing; Van Damme can’t time travel any more thanks to that weak heart of his.
Steve, is the Moltzmeister Head of Tomfoolery Research Division at Apple at long last? Or is Schiller still incumbent (albeit inadvertently)?
Damn. You had to ask that question first. You couldn’t ask about stock prices or sporting events on which you could wager.
After the tragic events of SchillerMania 2013 (hint: don’t go), Apple eliminated the Tomfoolery Research Division. While Mr. Moltz ably and successfully lead the division, he was let go when the division was eliminated.
His alpaca farm has been going gangbusters since then, insuring the continued existence of our beloved CARS.
Steve G: Did I win the lottery next week?
And, if so, did Ace spend the winnings on augmenting his ‘rubber saddle’ collection?
Ace: Sorry, no. Your numbers came up in PowerBall but you bought a MegaMillions ticket instead.
Oh, crud.
I hope I haven’t just screwed up the timestream. If I’m still here next week, we’ll know it worked out OK (for the timestream, that is).
Don’t panic, the timestream will sort itself out. However, there is a parallel universe wherein we are all reading a new CARS post right now.
Is the other universe shiny?
Are there ponies there?
And rainbows?
I love rainbows, me.
Just checking in from the parallel universe…
the new post is perfection.
Do the tunnels still exist and zombies.
Sorry that last bit was stupid.
How’s the Moltzmeister’s chinny-chin chin fuzz looking in the parallel universe?
Any improvement?
Does this parallel universe have snow?
I’m really sick of winter.
Tunnels? check
Zombies? check (although they are much nicer)
chin fuzz? I’m not looking for that.
Snow? none
wait… maybe I’m just in San Diego.
Mmm… I would vote delirious from the flu/bug/cold you have.
Although your observations do resemble San Diego.
And I’m not looking for chin fuzz either…
Once I get back into the correct timestream, I’m switching to that no-snow parallel universe.
Oops, I thought this was the correct timestream. Hmm, where’d I put my ticket?
HI, THIS IS THE REAL BROTHER MUGGA POSTING FROM THE ALTERNATE TIME-STREAM. I GOT PROPELLED HERE AFTER A PARTICULARLY FRISKY VINDALOO (DON’T ASK). I’M JUST WARNING YOU THAT THE BROTHER MUGGA IN YOUR TIME-STREAM IS A REAL LOSER – I GOT ALL THE GOOD STUFF. DON’T LEND HIM MONEY, CERTAINLY. OR DAUGHTER. OR GOAT (HE’S GOT A THING ABOUT RUBBER SADDLES).
I’M HAVING TO SHOUT BECAUSE THIS IS THE TIME-STREAM WHERE THE ‘DEVELOPERS’ SHOUT BACK AT THE MOLTZ-GRUBER-BALMER HYBRID.
OH . . . OH GOD . . . THEY’RE DOING THE DANCE….!!
I was aware that a good vindaloo could enable one to “see through time,” but it never occurred to me that it works across alternate reality lines as well.
Off the the local Indian restaurant! Gosht vindaloo, extra spicy, please.
Do wine gums have the same effect?
Anyways a smaal post on Macworld showdown…Its informative but somehow I am loosing interest. Keep posting more