Some Dude In Nigeria Has Your .Mac Sync

In a disappointing announcement, Apple admitted today that some dude in Nigeria has your most recent .Mac sync.

“We’re not sure how it happened, said an embarrassed senior vice president of software development Bertrand Serlet. “But everyone’s .Mac syncs have been going to this dude in Nigeria.

“For, uh, like five years. Whew! Boy, is there egg on our faces!”

Serlet indicated that he wasn’t sure why anyone hadn’t noticed until now.

“There are only about 14 people actually using .Mac syncing, so that might be part of it. Also, Mac users don’t really have any sensitive information. It’s all phone numbers, recipes, comic book collections and kitty pictures.

“Really. They’re the lamest bunch of losers I’ve ever had the misfortune of trying to sell crap to.”

While this raises serious issues for OS X security, testing indicates that this announcement does not impact Leopard’s Back to My Mac feature, which allows a user to connect to a Mac remotely using a .Mac connection.

“Yeah,” said Macworld’s Chris Breen, “Our testing shows that Back to My Mac is not affected.

“‘Cause ‘Back to My Mac’ doesn’t work. Seriously. I’ve been trying for days and I can’t get the damn thing to work at all. So, no problemo there.”

Further, sources in Nigeria say the dude, Ajani, is totally cool and would never use your .Mac sync for nefarious purposes anyway so…

Housekeeping Note

This site has been attacked by vicious robot spammers, bent on making us pay for our sterling coverage of the Cyber Apocalypse (something you won’t see at those other rumor sites, by the way).

Masako has temporarily been able to delete the code, but we’ll be doing a full WordPress upgrade later today. If you have trouble connecting, you know who to blame: those soulless metal bastards.

UPDATE: Done.

CYBER APOCALYPSE ALERT! THREAT LEVEL: BALLMER!

Fresh back from the Thanksgiving holiday, I wish I had something thankful to report, but sadly I bring you only..

KILLER ROBOT RAMPAGE! (Not to be confused with the band of the same name.)

Thanks to Macworld’s Peter Cohen for the tip. There’s a guy who’s got the proper level of concern about robots sneaking into his house at night, knocking the furniture over and stealing his liver.

I don’t know what robots would do with a human liver. Possibly put it in some hideous killer cyborg, possibly just stick it in a jar of formaldehyde and put it up high on a shelf in their basement and forget about it until about ten years later when they went down there to find some carpet tacks and see it and say “Oh, there’s that human liver! Hey, Theo! Remember when I was looking all over for that human liver a couple of years ago?! Ha-ha! Ahhh… Biddy-biddy.”

Either way, pretty gruesome. One of your major organs roaming a post-apocalyptic landscape in a destructive metal behemoth or having it spend eternity next to Twiki’s washers.

Although the latter’s clearly worse. I mean… Twiki for Christ’s sake. How humiliating.

Anyway, here’s hoping your Thanksgiving holiday wasn’t filled will Ballmer-esque automatons tossing chairs and shouting “Developers! Developers! Developers!” and sweating all over the place.

Kind of makes your drunk uncle Rudy’s antics look tame, don’t it?

Happy Thanksgiving!

We’re off for the week so perhaps you can use this time to think about what you’re thankful for.

And it better be the right thing, dammit.

Because it’s not like this holiday is all about you, you know. And what you’re thankful for.

Sheesh.

Get over yourself already.

…

I’ll bet you’re still thinking about what you’re thankful for, aren’t you.

That is so like you.

Always thinking of yourself. And what you’re thankful for.

Grateful bastard.

Well, screw you.