OS X Turns Three.

Apple’s 21st century operating system turns three years old today and while Ars Technica marked the event with a retrospective, Apple celebrated by taking OS X and 15 of its screaming friends to Chuck E. Cheese for an afternoon of pizza, games and sugar-induced frenzy.

“Aaah, kids! They grow up so fast!” laughed Apple’s Chief Software Technology Officer Avie Tevanian watching one three-year-old boy violently yanking on a little girl’s pony tail.

“Use your words, Justin!” Tevanian called after the boy as he ran off after another victim. “Aren’t they just so precious?! They are our most special gift!

“Not in the face, Madison! No, no, Brandon! Don’t put the quarters in your mouth! Mackenzie, don’t kick the giant rat!”

Tevanian did admit, “I’ll be glad to see OS X get out of the ‘terrible twos’! This one’s turned into quite the little manipulator!”

OS X proceeded to consume four pieces of chocolate cake and three glasses of Coke. The Unix-based operating system then tore around the Chuck E. Cheese like a hysterical jack rabbit for forty-five minutes until it collapsed in a tired, whiney lump on the floor, refusing even to support its own weight.

“Although, I can’t say three is starting out to be much better,” Tevanian added, trying to pull OS X up by its wrist.

Shortly thereafter, Tevanian was seen scolding OS X and dragging the limp, sobbing operating system from the restaurant.

“I swear, I am never doing this again!” Tevanian said. “Stand up. Stand up. Stand up. Stand up! Yes, you can. Yes, you can. Yes, you can. Do you want me to tell Steve what you did? Do you?!