We’re off next week

But we’ll leave this thread open for you to talk amongst yourselves. Please take this as an opportunity to bond with your fellow Mac users.
Jeez, this place is going to be on fire when we come back, isn’t it.

1,060 thoughts on “We’re off next week”

  1. Whew! Back from a trip,
    I’m finding the MegaPost
    Has…
    Oh, hell. Why bother writing in haiku (10) when you can much more easily write in (20) plain ol’ English, or what we Ameri-(30)-cans spew forth that passes for English, an-(40)-yway, without counting the syllables. (50)
    It was really starting to get to me, (10) all that “FIVE SEVEN FIVE” crap that was go-(20)-ing through my head repeatedly. I found (30) myself counting syllables for every-(40)-thing I said. It really got on my co-(50)-workers’ nerves because it’s difficult to (60) count and talk at the same time. And it’s sad. (70)
    Uh, oh. It looks like it continues! Un-(10)-fortunately, though, it seems to have been (20) adapted specifically for the Meg-(30)-aPost. Maybe we shall call it Mega-(40)-PostiKu! No, wait, that’s just plain stupid. (50)
    (Don’t try this at home, kiddies, your brains will explode.)
    (Anyone got a Kleenex?)
    (And maybe some Windex?)
    (What a mess.)

  3. M$ sexbots are truly frightening. Imagine what would happen when they’d get hacked and you know they would always have a virus. It would be a new age for STD’s. Sexbot transmitted diseases.
    Microsoft Sexbots
    Truly you scare me to death
    or would that be scar?

  4. And you just KNOW MS bots could never love us. Not like the real thing. They would just be pretending, like toasters pretend to love you (except in that one movie where the toaster tries to wander around and find his master, wow).
    They could never love me like someone who smiles at me everytime they start up.
    Don’t look at me like that; I’M not a freak!

  5. Hey there sexy
    *winks at Huck!
    You know I love you. I’m not like the other Microsoft Sexbots.
    Just come over hear and let me show you….
    *klaxon begins to sound and sexbots head begins to spin*
    ABORT ABORT. Warning General Exception Fault in sexbot.exe
    *smoke begins to pour out of the sexbots orifices*
    Please Reboot and start up in safe mode.
    *loud explosion and pieces of Microsoft Sexbot fall all over the MegaPost*

  6. Oh the humanity!
    Or robotity?
    Anyway, yet another mess to clean up….
    People, please… Linux or MacOS sexbots _only_.

  8. Teenage Cai fan: Send me that $120 and I’ll get you one of those tickets. Just remember all porn in the MegaPost is in the form of lewd suggestions, ascii art, and/or haiku.

  9. online casino
    If you’ve ever been curious about how to play online poker then you’ll want to read over the following online poker guide. This guide is designed to give you a basic overview of the game concept and rules. After reading this guide you should be in a god position to play poker. We suggest you try an online casino that offers free play in order to practice a bit before placing any real wagers.

  11. *wanders over to failed sexbot*
    *looks all serious*
    This is your immune system on Microsoft. Any questions?

  15. *puts on tin-foil hat*
    The whole MS. Sexbot thing is a conspiracy, I tell you, a conspiracy!
    You really gotta watch out for the special Board Room edition marketed to help CxO’s extend their corporate “presence.” And MCSE’s will wet their pants over that indroductory offer — buy one and get two free.
    Corporate firewalls are going to crumble — there’s hardly a corporate CxO who’ll be able to resist the siren’s call.
    These Bots are Trojans. Evil, Evil Trojans.
    Who knew that this is what the world would come to when Bill decided to dominate new markets?
    *takes off tin-foil hat*

  16. *Beep, beep, beep, beep*
    *Eighteen-wheeler backs up and parks.*
    Delivery Man: Hey, you there, can you sign for this?
    Thomas: Sure.
    *Signs*
    Thomas: What did I just sign for?
    Delivery Man: Here’s one crate of confetti, one crate of tequila, two crates of chips, one crate of Cheeze Whiz, one mariachi band, and your crate of hmPods. It says here to deliver them to the MegaPost for the Cinco de Mayo 1K post celebration. They’re out of the truck now. Just be careful when you uncrate the mariachi band — they got a little surly when we told them we didn’t have coach class and that we were stuffing them all in one shipping crate — I did cut a few air holes — I am a nice guy ya’know.
    Thomas: Um, thanks. Wait, what did you say about Pods?
    *Truck drives off.*
    *Knocking and cursing heard from mariachi band crate*
    Thomas: I don’t know if I want to be the one to open that crate.
    *More knocking and cursing heard from mariachi band crate*
    Thomas: So, a crate of hmPods, but what are hmPods?
    *Opens crate and looks at contents*
    Thomas: So, these look like flattened iPods only with a gold-crown logo. Scrolling through the playlist, it looks like one-thousand greeting card tunes stored on each hmPod — let’s see, there’s Happy Birthday (C), Happy Anniversary, Don’t Worry About Being Laid-off — Be Happy. Let’s listen to that last one.
    *Cheezy electronic greeting card adaptation of Don’t Worry, Be Happy plays from hmPod*
    Thomas: Oh, maybe this isn’t such a good thing afterall. What does the invoice say about these things?
    *Reads invoice*
    Thomas: Oh, cool. They were free ’cause we ordered the crate of confetti — and the confetti is environmentally friendly, having been made from recycled greeting cards. I wonder, though. What to do with these hmPods? They sound awful.
    *Thinks for moment*
    Thomas: Ah, I’m sure that with a little tequila, the MegaPost will find a good way to deal with the hmPods.
    Thomas: *Shouts to hardy souls of the MegaPost:* Hey guys and gals, we’ve got party supplies for our One-Thousand-Posts at the MegaPost (1kp@MP) Celebration! How long till we reach a thousand? Should we get someone to open up the mariachi band’s crate so they’ll have time to blow off steam before they play? Del, Huck, Cai, one of you want to pop open the band’s crate?
    Thomas: Guys?

  18. Oh, dude, they look a little, er, *miffed*, to say the least.
    Quick! The tequila!
    (Because we _all_ know just how adding alcohol to an already touchy situation only makes things better!)
    Here, guys, one each… great!
    Now I’ve got to do something with the confetti.
    *opens crate of confetti*
    *notes that confetti appears to be (gasp!) shredder output!*
    *and that the shredder _did’nt_ _do_ _a_ _complete_ _job_ of _shredding!!_*
    What’s this?! Look! The confetti seems to be made up of old Apple corporate memos! Here’s one from (another *gasp!*) John Scully! And… no… it can’t be….
    It is! It’s a memo from Steve Jobs authorizing R&D on Apple-branded Sexbots! Wooo hoooo!
    *colapses into pile of confetti*
    *discovers another memo*
    Oh, wait, no, that’s not what he wanted after all. Seems he said “no palmtop devices” after all.
    Rats.
    …
    Huck, pass me that tequila, will ya’? And some Cheez Wiz?
    Thanks.
    (This post certified 100% Haiku-Free by HA, Haiku Anonymous, which ignited the personal… no, wait, they didn’t do that.)

  19. WOOOOOOOOOOOOWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
    Sir, please STEP AWAY FROM THAT KEYBOARD.
    GOOD. Using only your index finger, slowly scroll upward a bit.
    OK, now notice that you SCREWED UP THE PUNCTUATION in your previous post!
    That’s right! I’m Corporal Bill of the Grammar Patrol, and you’re being fined… hey, is that Cheez Wiz? Could I have some of that?
    OK, well, we’ll overlook your incompetent punctuation this time, but next time won’t be so _pleasant_. We’ll have to suspend your Contraction License and you’ll have to type everything out _the_long_way_!
    You may resume your activities, citizen.
    Mmmm. Good Cheez Wiz.

  20. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
    PLEASE STEP AWAY FROM THE KEYBOARD.
    Citizen, you are hereby being fined $100 for misspellings in a previous posting, specifically for the absence of a second “l” in “collapse.”
    Now, may I see your license and registration, please?
    Hey, is that tequila?
    Well, we won’t belabor this, ahem, issue. I’ll just write up a warning… (rip)… there. Please be more careful in the future.
    Could you pass the Cheez Wiz?
    That is all.

  22. By my Count this is post 944
    Yay everyone is here! The mariachi band is really grumpy. I gave them the M$ sexbot and a bunch of tequila and that seems to have cheered them up. Of course the M$ sexbot is now missing it’s legs because I pulled them off to use on my Mac SExbot project. I had the articulated arms I got from Thomas all hooked up but I didn’t have the legs yet.
    Anyone figure out how to reprogram the hmPods? There has to be a way to get all that crap out of there and fill it with party music. I would fill mine up with Funk and other great party music to get things going.
    One thing though. I am making the request that at the MegaPost celebration party that there is no: Macarena, Who let the Dogs Out, Chicken Dance, or the Hokey Pokey. (Unless your “dancing” the Hokey Pokey with a lesbian ninjna midget sexbot, but really I still don’t want to watch.) I don’t know if our British brethren have to suffer through these songs but I’ve had to go to enough weddings this summer I think I’ll iNuke the place if I hear them one more time.
    I havn’t had my
    coffee. I’m very grumpy
    caffeinatedme please

  24. Is Cai our only MegaPoster from across the pond? When you go to weddings in a civilized country are you forced to listen to CRAPPY music that makes you want to blow your head off?
    I’ve had my coffee so I’m less grumpy, but the whole music at weddings thing has touched a raw nerve for me. Just about everyone I know had to get married this summer and it was HELL!!! HELL!! I say.
    I’m going to sit here and drink my coffee… and tequila.

  25. Postin’ on work time, postin’ on work time, postin’ on work time, woo.
    Okay what now…
    I know! Tequila!
    *reprograms hmPod to dispense hard alcohol*

  27. One Apple Wireless Keyboard will be awarded for each 5th post beginning with the 950th post until the MegaPost reaches its 1000 post. For the 1000 post, one lucky winner will win the grand prize of a PowerMac G5.

  29. I love tramadol even though
    I have no idea what it is. And this sentence is just filler.

  31. Gasp! No, not (dun dun dun!) TRAMADOL!!
    Why, that’s GENERIC ULTRAM!
    * boots tramadol squarely in the you-know-where *
    We don’t need no stinkin’ GENERICS round these parts!
    * boots now-fallen tramadol squarely where it counts *
    Get lost, you low down GENERIC varmint!
    * takes a swig of tequila, passes out *
    * wakes back up long enough to start a hmPod on playing an annoying tune, say, the “Gilligan’s Island Theme” on the “Happy Vacation, You Fat Bastard”-themed hmPod *
    * retires to corner and passes out again *
    (No, not from the tequila, from lack of sleep! Those darned Mariachi guys are LOUD! Have you tried to get any sleep since they showed up?!)

  32. Bill the trick is to drink until you pass out. Then you don’t even notice the Mariachi band.
    Next post wins a wireless keyboard.
    Post #954

  33. I have the next post but sine I have won a mini in the last 6 months I think that makes me inelible for the wireless keyboard.
    does that mean the person who has the 956th post gets it or that keyboard goes unclaimed and we look to post #960 for the next winner?

  34. I’ll take the AWK!
    I can use it to beat the Mariachi band senseless so that maybe they’ll be QUIET and let MET SLEEP!!!
    Or I could just drink more tequila… yeah, I like that idea….

  35. (I’m not sure who “Met” is, but I’ll be sure to let “Met” sleep, too, if I beat them senseless.)
    * hiccup *

  36. You better let MET sleep. Last time someone woke him up MET put them in the hospital for a month.
    Those poor nuns.

  37. Mr. Smith,
    We copy and pasted the so-called word “inelible” in to AppleWorks and it didn’t reconize it as a word, but anyways, you can’t win the Apple Wireless Keyboard because you are ineligible.

  40. Mr. Eccles and Everyone Else,
    If a winner is ineligible the next poster wins the Apple Wireless Keyboard, NOT! HA, HA, HA!

  41. I won?
    Yahoo!! I’m so EXCITED!! Every one can GOOGLE at my new wireless keyboard!!

  43. *stretches legs*
    *gives a mighty kick to Tramidol in the nuts*
    *beats Tramidol with empty tequila bottle*
    *Tells the Mariachi Band that Tramidol slept with their Mothers*
    There… I feel better.

  45. That’s it time for the big guns.
    *sneaks over and wakes up MET*
    *runs quickly to the other side of the MegaPost*
    MET I saw the guy who woke you. It’s Tramidol. He’s right over there.
    I’m going to hide in my G5 Xserve box. Let me know when the bloodbath is over.
    Post 967

  46. (Oh, Del, that was sneaky!
    Agh! I can’t bear to watch! Oh the humanity!)
    * covers eyes *
    (hiccup)

  47. UGGGHHHH Nobody is posting. How am I going to get my Apple Wireless keyboard if I keep getting the post before the winner.
    Post 969

  48. *in a deep voice*
    Hey I got post 970 I guess that means I get the keyboard. You know what though I think you should give it to that nice gal Del. She sounds like she really wants it.

  49. Thanks. That is really nice of you!
    I can’t wait to get it. Without the cord I can use it to beat spammers about the head and groin.

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