We’re off next week

But we’ll leave this thread open for you to talk amongst yourselves. Please take this as an opportunity to bond with your fellow Mac users.
Jeez, this place is going to be on fire when we come back, isn’t it.

1,060 thoughts on “We’re off next week”

  1. Um, I’m having a little trouble with your hmPod, Del. I seem to have taken in so much liquor, I… have no idea how I did this the first time. You’d think it would be easy to get booze out of a consumer electronic device, wouldn’t you?
    *pushes buttons drunkenly*

  5. *Wearing a short, tight nurse’s outfit ala Frederick’s the young, shapely Nurse Annie swaggers over to Huck with a tequila bottle under her arm and an hmPod tucked neatly in her ample cleavage.*
    *Mariachi band stops playing in mid-tune and watches as Nurse Annie crosses the room to Huck.*
    Hi there Huck!
    I’ve been admiring your fine legwork for sometime now.
    *Slowly and deliberately caresses Huck’s leg*
    My, but that’s a mighty fine leg you have; a mighty fine, strong leg you have; a mighty strong fine leg…
    *Grabs Huck by the shoulders and kisses him till his tonsil’s pop out of his ears*
    So, ya think you can do me a teeny weeny favor and program my hmPod for me, or is Del the only woman for you?
    *Gives Huck a sultry look while caressing his leg again.*
    *Members of mariachi band shout* Aye Chihuahua! *In unison.*

  6. Excuse me Nurse,
    I just popped in with this special delivery of 150 packages of hot, instant grits.
    It says here to deliver these to Natalie Portman — can you tell me where to find her?
    *Pauses for moment.*
    Oh, wait, I’m on the wrong website. This is supposed to be delivered to Slashdot.
    Sorry for the interruption.
    *Blushes and backs away, slowly, awkwardly.*

  7. Bob: Well Marv.
    Marv: Yes Bob?
    Bob: Looks like things are really starting to heat up here at the CARS MegaPost.
    Marv: Yes, Bob, it looks like the field of competitors has really gotten stronger in recent days.
    Bob: Marv, I think we may be in for a Photo Finish on the 1000th post.
    Marv: There are some well-seasoned posters here, and you never know when a lurker will jump in at the last minute. I’ve seen some last minute spoilers in other posts.
    Bob: I think there will be a lot of fingers poised over keyboards in the coming hours just itching to be the 1000th poster and the one to take home that G5.
    Marv: So Bob, who is your favorite to win?
    Bob: My money is on the lesbian midgets, they’ve been working out in the back corner, and I think they’ve worked up a strategy for dealing with their competition. It will either be them or Howard the Dog.
    Marv: You think Howard will make a special appearance on the 1000th post?
    Bob: I’ve seen him move pretty fast at times, I think he could outrun the lesbian midgets.
    Marv: Well, stay tuned to the MegaPost for more live coverage of the 1000th post!

  8. I claim this post in the name of the Vikings, proudly sailing the seas in the year 980!
    Ooooh, Cheeze Whiz!

  9. Wow, this really is a party! Why, hellooooo Nur–hey… uh, what are you doing to my leg? Oh… carry on!
    Anyway, I really do have to get this hmPod programmed for Del. You see, we go way back, wayyyy back. Back to when the Mega-Post was discarded as just another useless thread of loonies and idle bits of minds. But Del was one of those few who understood that this really was just another useless thread of loonies and idle bits of minds — but this one was going to be bigger! Longer! Uncu–er, loonier! Idler! Cheezier! Chezier! Midgetier! Sexbotier! Lesbianer…
    *continues in this vein for a number of minutes*
    And besides, you don’t EVER keep anyone in computer support away from their booze — not unless you are feeling especially expendable.
    So here ya go Del, I remembered how to get the hmPod to dispense alcohol. Apparently if you plug it into itself and hit play, it gets really depressed about its music selection… and now you can select your favorite firewater with the industry’s best interface!
    And dear, dear Nurse Annie, I’ve actually got a special hmPod for you…
    *kicks hmPod in the nuts*
    It… dispenses cleavage.
    Del: Hooray!
    Nurse Annie: Hooray!
    Huck: Boobs… I mean, hooray!

  10. Oh, and now that I’m all nostalgic… why has Cai been so quiet? And is it just me, or has he not giggled for more than a hundred posts? Remember this?
    Cai: *giggles*
    You remember don’t you? Cai, have you lost your happy thought?
    (and if so, might I recommend the cleavage casserole?)

  13. John’s here!
    Quick, hide the tequila!
    *hic*
    Noooo, there hasn’t been any drinking while you were away…
    *hic*
    And I don’t know how that stain got on the carpet…
    *hic*
    *passes out*

  14. Lordy! Lordy!
    you take a break to learn to shiz for worky and look what happens!
    It’s a bloodbath in here!
    *pauses*
    wooooooooooooo!
    Lets get it OWNA!
    *takes a bottle of Tequilla*
    *grabs a cup of coffee*
    partay! I say!
    *giggles*
    Guess whos back!
    *winkies*
    *dances*
    Towards 1000!
    *kicks random spammer in the noits*
    heh heh heh!
    hmmmm……lesbians!

  16. If the 1000th post is by anyone thats NOT me, they win a swift kick in the nuts!
    I thank you!
    *bows*

  17. Um, John? Sorry about the carpet over there.
    And that mess in the corner… well, you really ought to get a Dumpster out in the driveway next to where the what-used-to-be-a-wall-before-Del-took-her-iFlame-to-it was. We’ll have to use shovels, I’m afraid.
    Cai, could you give me a hand? We have to get Huck’s foot dislodged from that hmPod. And I do believe one of his ears has become stuck in Nurse Annie’s over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder.
    *blush*
    Guess I’d better help get him out of that morass… er, situation… too.
    *pulls mightily*
    Huck… Huck… Huck… Hey, Del, he’s lookin’ a little spacey, here. Starin’ off into space, he is. Spaced out…
    *whacks Huck upside the head*
    *Huck’s silly grin disappears*
    Morass… I just LOVE that word. Why is a “morass” such a bad thing? Anything with those two sounds together in the same word _can’t_ be all that bad.
    More… ass… huh huh… huh… huh….
    Unless you’re Roseanne or Oprah, that is. Then you probably wouldn’t want a morass of any kind ’cause you’d already have enough trouble.
    *Huck whacks Bill upside head*
    Ahem, well, sorry, got a little off topic there. Thanks, Huck. Yeah, um, where was I? Oh, cleaning.
    It’s always left to me to clean this place up. This makes the third time, I think. And I do believe the owner’s manual specifies a cleaning once every 250 posts or 15 days, so we’re behind by at least one cleaning.
    Oh, hell. Del, pass me that tequila, will you? If I’m going to clean, I’m going to at least enjoy it.

  18. *WooooooooooooooooooWooooooooooooooo!*
    Sargeant Major Dumfries of the Grammar Patrol, here! What’s all this, then?!
    There’s a split infinitive (on the landing)!
    Right! It’s ‘orribly split, too! Take a look at it! The gash so neatly clefts the “to” and “enjoy” right in two! And the split is clogged up with “at least,” which I would assume was meant to modify the “enjoy,” but instead created this ‘orrible, ‘orrible misconstruction of grammar!
    So, ‘oo’s responsible, here, then?
    *Sees Bill.*
    You, sir, stop!
    *Bill is seen attempting to hide in G5 box*
    (Hey, did I tell you that my employer is buying me a DPG52.5GHz? No, really! It’s true!)
    *Bill stops dead in his tracks*
    Rats. I ‘ate it when they stop dead in their tracks. We always have to defibber… defibular… deliber… oh, hell, shock ’em, we do.
    *Bzzzzzt!*
    (Scheduled to ship in the first part of September, it is!)
    *Bill comes back around, is groggy, and complains mightily of a pain in his chest*
    Right. That’s all better, then. Now, where was I? Oh, yes, that, sir, was a mightily-split infinitive, and since you already died and came back from the dead, I’ll let you off to time… er, death sentence… already served.
    I can see my work’s done here. Right! In the future, refrain from splitting infinitives, please!
    Good day!
    *Clicks heels together–only once!–gives a snappy salute and retreats from the MegaPost.*

  19. Wait! SgtMaj Dumfries! You forgot your keyboard…!
    Oh, well, he’s gone. Guess we’ll be able to use this keyboard to fend off more spambots. Del? Do you need an extra?

  21. Right. I’ll send it on.
    It is, after all, wireless.
    “Wireless” means “no wires.”
    AAAAAAAH!! MORE HAIKU!!!

  25. Hey, did anybody notice this sign over here? It’s on the front of this big box. It says:
    “CAUTION:
    THIS UNIT SPECIFICALLY DESIGNED TO KILL YOU.
    If this unit fails, that one over there knows where you live.”
    Hey, look! There’s a finger-sized hole in the side of the box….
    🙂

  28. Um, is this thing on?
    Did I get post one thousand?
    Yes? That is way cool.
    But if it isn’t,
    ‘Twas not meant to be that way,
    I’ll also say, “Poop!”

  29. Woooooooooooooooooohoooooooooooooooooooo!
    Yeah babies…………
    welcome to the 1000th post!
    Who wouldve though that Megapost would get to here?
    Well, bitches….I did!
    yeahhhhhhhhh!
    Ugh!!
    Group hug anyone?

  30. OUCH! THAT HURT!
    Yeah, I know, I deserved to get kicked in the nuts for taking the big post. You even said you’d do it!
    Well, there’s always 2000….

  31. MOTHER FU….
    Bill stole the 1000th posts…..
    OMG!
    BILL STOLE THE 1000th POST!
    WHAT A RIIIIIIIIIP!
    RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP!
    RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP!
    *cries*
    *takes a few steps back*
    sorry Bill, this is for your own good!
    Wooooowoooooooo!
    *runs and kicks bill in the jollies*
    and dont let this happen on the 2000 post!
    *hugs bills*

  32. (in very, very high-pitched voice)
    It’s OK… I won’t let it happen for 2000… no way… that hurt WAAAAAY tooo much!
    …
    Anybody got some Aleve? I’m gonna’ need it.
    * collapses in corner behind box WITH BIG SCARY WARNING SIGN ON IT… and a finger-sized hole in the side! 🙂 *

  33. *staggers over to Bill*
    Wooot! Wooot! Woootty! Wooo!
    *opens fresh bottle of tequila and stick straw in it, yes a drinking straw*
    *inserts other end of drinking straw through finger-sized hole in side of box next to Bill*
    *Loud sucking sound*
    *Tequila bottle is drained dry in an instant*
    *drops bottle and runs like hell*

  34. wooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
    “finger sized hole”
    *looks at finger*
    *looks at hole*
    *looks at finger*
    *looks at hole*
    *pauses*
    *looks at hole*
    *looks at finger*
    *looks around*
    *sticks finger in hole*

  37. *Loud sucking sound*
    *Cai is drained dry in an instant*

  38. *gasps*
    ieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! *croak*
    *gasps*
    neeeeed moisture……neeeeeed moisture…..
    someone throw me a pair of the midgets underwear…..

  39. Huck thanks for fixing my hmPod. It’s working great!
    Thanks for the wireless keyboards. I have two now. So I can beat up two spammers simultaneously.
    Also on the 1000th post… I believe we were promised dancing Masako.

  40. * Evil Villian in black cloak swoops into the room and gives Cai a bottle of tequila *
    * Alcohol, of course, dehydrates when consumed. And, I’m guessing, Cai’s already low state of hydration will lead to a massive hangover… if he survives! *
    * Evil Villian laughs villianously and swoops back out of the MegaPost! *

  42. Wake up Bill!!!
    I missed the party last night I need some partying today.
    Hello!!!
    Anyone!? Cai, Huck?
    I want to celebrate.

  43. *re-hydrates Cai with cheez whiz and american beer*
    Wake up Cai. It’s party time. They said it could never be done. They said 1000 could not be reached. They said we’d be lucky to reach 200.
    Heres what I say to them.
    *PPPPPPPPPPSSSSSSSSBBBBBBBBTTTTTTTT***

  44. Huh? Wha…? Who?
    Oh, sorry, let me wipe the drool off my chin… there, that’s better.
    Hey, let’s boogie!
    * boogies *

  45. WAIT! QUICK! THROW SOME WATER ON CAI!
    * splash *
    There, I can see that he’s rehydrating!
    Whew!
    Anybody else want to stick your finger in the finger-sized hole on the box with a BIG WARNING LABEL?
    🙂

  46. Maybe… It did look like fun.
    *stares apprehensively at the box*
    I wonder what’s in there?
    Nice boogying Bill. Whooo hooo PARTY ALL THE TIME.

  47. Whoa, I just had the most amazing dream involving, oddly enough, my ear and the most cavernous… er, bra you have ever encountered.
    We reached 1000? And I SLEPT THROUGH IT?! Argh! Argh, argh, argh, argharghargh.
    Oh well, everyone’s here, except b-man it seems. Hey b-man! You’re missin’ out on the celebrations (which entails many-a lurid activity)! And I haven’t heard anything from the JJJ-smith recently.
    So, I really want to party, but I can’t do anything until I figure out what is up with that damned box.
    *kicks box in the nuts*
    WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM US!

  49. *pulls out iFlame*
    I’ll teach that box a lesson.
    Mwaaa haaahaa look at it burn. Fire cleanses all.

  50. Del! Look out!
    THAT ONE OVER THERE KNOWS WHERE YOU LIVE!!!!!
    * keeps boogying *

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