WWDC Reaction

Due to budget cutbacks and the need to put my foot down about some personnel issues we’ve been having here (I’m sorry if some bad apples had to spoil a good time for everyone!), the Crazy Apple Rumors Site staff did not attend the Worldwide Developers Conference this year.

Because some people forgot to get their field trip permission slips signed.

I’m not saying who.

It’s not who you’d guess.

Unless you’d guess Chet.

In which case it is.

Anyway, we sat down and (some of us sullenly) watched Steve’s keynote and here’s our stream of consciousness reaction to the QuickTime streaming action.

Just after taking the stage, Steve said there are developers at WWDC from countries he didn’t know existed, which had us howling.

It’s funny sometimes how he likes to pretend he’s not omniscient. But he is, you know. He’s omniscient.

He sees what you do at home alone at night. He doesn’t want to, of course, because you’re disgusting, but… you know… omniscient.

Steve talked about the Apple Store, played a pretty cool iTunes/iPod video and then got into the new displays that… well… everyone already knew about.

Still, that’s a damn big display.

Also, I think I saw Steve adjust himself while he was talking about it. So… you can tell he’s pretty excited about it.

Steve moved on to Mac OS X saying that the transition to Mac OS X is over and then introduced Andy Dick, who seemed to be on prozac, to talk about products from Alias. And then there was some woman talking about the next version of Myst, a couple of funky musician types, about the geekiest guy you’ve ever seen and the entire University of California Marching Band to talk about how much they liked Panther.

Everyone likes Panther, if you haven’t gotten the memo.

But enough about that. Let’s talk about Tiger.

I noticed that Spotlight puts another icon in my menu bar and I was thinking that I’m going to run out of room between the application menus and the sound, Airport, etc. icons.

And then I found out I probably won’t need my Konfabulator icon anymore.

Which explains a phone call we got later. The phone rang and there was the most horrible tirade of he filthiest expletives you’ve ever heard on the other end.

I forgot to check the caller ID, but I’m pretty sure it was Arlo Rose. You can’t really blame the guy. Apple seems to be making it a point to put him out of business every few years.

Kind of a strange message to bring up during a developer’s conference, if you ask me, but… uh… they didn’t.

Hey, kids, what would any Apple conference be without a little Schillermania?! Not worth the price of entry, that’s what!

The S-Man’s Core bit of doing an image transition between a picture of a tiger and a picture of a lion was obviously a thinly veiled attempt to tell us that the code name for the version of Mac OS X after Tiger will be Lion.

Or, possibly, based on the groovy psychedelic image he made next, Electric Zebra.

You know, there’s been a lot of controversy about whether Phil’s Canadian or not, but I think it misses the larger point:

He’s stoned out of his mind on mescaline.

Somewhere in there they mentioned that Xcode 2 will supposedly support 64-bit application development. But based on our research, it’s more like 63 and a half. They just rounded it up to 64, which I think is kind of lame.

I don’t know if you saw the demo of Automator, but Apple just created a revolution in downloading porn. Oh, sure, they made a show of downloading “family pictures”, but… you know… wink, wink…

And they also created a revolution in online group sex with iChat video conferencing.

So, new monitors, advanced graphics capability, Automator, iChat video conferencing…

What new Apple technology do you think will impact digital porn the most?

No, really.

‘Cause that’s what I got out of this keynote.

Admittedly… I get that out of every keynote…

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