Lesser-Known WWDC Sessions.

Apple has posted the schedule of sessions for its upcoming Worldwide Developer Conference (this year’s theme: celebrating the unsung white, male developer!). While the banner event will be sessions such as “What’s New for Tiger” and, uh, “Getting the Most Out of Cocoa Bindings” (oh, please, like I don’t get the most out of Cocoa bindings already), Apple has a number of lesser-known offerings that attendees should also consider.

Let’s take a look.

  • So, You’re A Pasty, Overweight Guy Living In Your Parent’s Basement… – Explores the issues most important to developers, such as “How do I meet chicks when I rarely venture outside the confines of my musty hovel?” and “When does the next season of Battlestar Galactica start?”
  • Developing Java Cocoa Classic Apps in Objective C for Enterprise Workgroup Deployment on Distributed XServe Clustered Server Environments for Developing Java Cocoa Classic Apps in Objective C – This recursive class will teach you everything you need to know about everything you need to know, n times.
  • How Mac OS X Is A Flawlessly Secure Operating System That Was Delivered Unto Us By God Himself – presented by Jack Campbell.
  • Developing for the Newton OS – This class will be an attempt to lure in people who are still developing applications for the Newton in order to give them an intervention.
  • Advanced Hypercard Stacks For OS 9 – This is another Trojan listing like the one above, except attendees in this class will be herded into a corner where Apple employees will poke at them with sharp sticks.
  • Using Soap for Developers – Please note that this is “Soap” not “SOAP”. Not an acronym, fellas. Some of you are… a little ripe. Whew.
  • Python on Mac OS X – Snake infestation on your Mac is no laughing matter. Apple Vice President of Developer Relations and licensed snake handler Ron Okamoto will show you what to do when the hissing starts. Warning: first three rows will get sprayed with venom!
  • Python on Mac OS X – ’70s British humor troop Monty Python’s Flying Circus is one laughing matter! Regular cut-up and Python fan Andy Ihnatko will show you how to get original Python episodes onto your Mac for hours of humorous viewing enjoyment. Warning: first three rows will get sprayed with blancmange!
  • Phil! – Last year’s most popular session is back! Phil Schiller’s one-man show will make you laugh, it’ll make you cry, it’ll make your shareware application far more marketable! Come see what critic Tom Shales hailed as “A developer conference session tour de force! If you see one session this WWDC, make it Phil!

Developers are advised to book early, as these sessions tend to fill up fast.