The Apple rumors community was thrown into tumult today as Think Secret announced that as part of an agreement with Apple, it would be closing its doors. Today will be known as “the Day the Rumors Died”.
Except for those from this site, of course.
And Apple Insider.
And, well, Mac Rumors.
… the rest.
But this monumental event simply serves to drive home that the Apple rumors world is shrinking. Every day, or every 200 to 700 days, another Apple rumor site is felled as a mighty oak falls in, um, Oak… land.
How could this happen?
Many Apple followers were quick to jump to one of two conclusions – that Think Secret was either forced out of business or bought out of business.
But it takes the trained eye of a rumors site editor to note certain tell-tale signs. Signs that point to one conclusion and on conclusion only.
Nick Ciarelli (né “dePlume”) was coerced against his will to shut down Think Secret by killer robots bent on destroying the Apple ecosystem.
No. No. No.
No, look, any reputable naturalist will tell you that things that feed off of other things, or even the waste of other things, things that actually do things as opposed to the things that are feeding off of them, yes, even these things are part of the ecosystem.
They’re called para… Um, para…
Well, I forget what they’re called.
Anyway, let’s take a look at not just what Think Secret said in its press release, but what it didn’t say. What you notice immediately is they didn’t say anything about killer robots.
Don’t you think that’s odd?
I think it’s odd.
It all becomes clear when you look at the subtext.
Apple and Think Secret have settled their lawsuit, reaching an agreement that results in a positive solution for both sides.
Subtext: “HELP! I’m being held hostage by killer robots!”
As part of the confidential settlement, no sources were revealed and Think Secret will no longer be published.
Subtext: “OH, DEAR GOD, THEIR PINCERS ARE DIGGING INTO MY FLESH! I MUST DO THEIR EVIL BIDDING!”
Nick Ciarelli, Think Secret’s publisher, said “I’m pleased to have reached this amicable settlement, and will now be able to move forward with my college studies and broader journalistic pursuits.”
Subtext: “MY ONLY HOPE IS TO ACCEDE TO THE DEMANDS OF MY CRUEL METAL CAPTORS AND ASSIST THEM IN IMPLEMENTING THEIR VICIOUS, CALCULATED PLAN!”
I just don’t see how you could read it any different than that.
No, rumoristas, do not blame Apple for the death of Think Secret. Blame the clanking metal terrors that are the architects and executors of the Cyber Apocalypse.
But on the outside chance that it wasn’t them and Apple really did buy Think Secret off, I haven’t made a secret of fact that we’d be willing to stop publishing for a Cinema Display.
In case anyone wants to make us an offer.