05 Apr 04New PowerBooks Coming… nnnnnnNOW! No, Wait…


After reporting that speed-bump PowerBooks would be released last week, O’Grady’s PowerPage now indicates that new PowerBooks will be arriving “NnnnnnnnnnNOW!

“Oh, shoot,” said Jason O’Grady. “Wait, let me try that again.

“NnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnNOW!” he called out, clicking to refresh Apple’s home page in Safari.

“Dammit.”

According to friends and coworkers, O’Grady has been predicting the arrival of new PowerBooks at random intervals ever since they failed to materialize last week.

“It’s really starting to get annoying,” said fellow PowerPage poster Pierce Case. “I wish he’d just drop it already.”

O’Grady has also tried numerous different things designed to induce Apple to release new PowerBooks.

“I tried loading their home page in multiple browsers, I tried my lucky hat, I tried this sort of incantation thing that I kind of made up on the spot… sort of ‘Allakazam! Skudda-bwam!’ That kind of thing.

“Nothing.”

Sources at Apple indicate that O’Grady’s thought waves do not appear to be penetrating the building.

“I didn’t feel anything,” said Senior Vice President of Hardware Engineering Jon Rubinstein. Turning to Vice President of Hardware Product Marketing Greg Joswiak, Rubinstein asked “Did you feel anything?”

“No,” Joswiak replied smiling. “Tell him to try his lucky hat again. No, no! Tell him to try it on one leg!”

Rubinstein snickered. “Dude, you are so bad!”

O’Grady was not amused by the Apple executives’ mockery.

“Laugh it up,” he said. “But they shall release new PowerBooks within the fortnight! So sayeth… uh… so sayeth a reliable source! Yes! And… and… then there shall be a pox upon both their houses! And… their teeth shall… require… those whitening strips… for they shall become stained… as they seek to stain my reputation! Ha-ha! Yes! I shall be vindicated!

“Definitely before the end of the month. I’m 100 percent sure of that.”

O’Grady then turned back to his PowerBook, hovered his finger over the track pad button and called out to no one in particular, “Waaaaaaaait for iiiiiiiiiit!”

Suddenly shouting “HUZZAH!” he clicked refresh once again.

No Responses to “New PowerBooks Coming… nnnnnnNOW! No, Wait…”

  1. Magnanimous Wang says:

    FIrst post!

  2. kman says:

    You’re a loser, John.

  3. Jason says:

    *Stands on other foot*

    NnnnnnnnnnNOW! *click*

    Damn!

  4. Christopher Fenger says:

    … he shouted HUZZAH! and then hit refresh? Yeah! Right on, O’Grady! Damn! So, like… then what happened?

  5. John Moltz says:

    I’m sure that’s a misprint. I’m sure he meant to say I was “looser”.

    Although, I don’t really know what that would have meant.

  6. larry the hobo says:

    Maybe he is drunk?

    Huzzah is one of those things that those crazy people shout while dressed up as 15th century fruitcakes right?

    “more beer…huzzah!”

  7. Phill says:

    I spent all of yesterday (that’s tomorrow US time) doing this, hoping to see info showing apple’s market sharegoing up. I know this guys pain

  8. Alex Kinnison says:

    I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again;

    CARS credibility as the premier resource for Apple insight EVERY TIME you refer to the belovèd Joz as “senior director”.

    He’s a V.P., dammit! he earned it, he has the V.P. power to capriciously make product decisions and fire people.

    respect his VPness!

    –alx

  9. Ambrose Chapel says:

    hell, if that planetary alignment the other week didn’t lead to new hardware, nothing’s gonna do it!

  10. John Moltz says:

    Right you are, Alex. Damn this 1999 Field Guide To Apple Executives!

    The reference has been corrected.

  11. thenightfly42 says:

    Hey, does O’Grady have any line on new iMacs?

  12. Insider says:

    That’s exactly how I would expect Joswiak to respond.

  13. thescoot106 says:

    I want a new powerbook 🙁

  14. Laemkral says:

    I’m telling you, we need to bust out the Ouiji board and the Magic 8-Ball and some tarot cards and some other things that predict the future, gather them into a mighty pile, and set it ablaze. Then we sacrifice a goat and dance around the burning pile of magical artifacts drenched in goat blood and wearing its skin and furs….and ONLY it’s skin and furs….chanting to the gods above that they send us new Powerbooks and update the G5s and upgrade the rest of the Mac line and that they strike down Michale Dell and Bill Gates and Steve Ballmer and this one guy on the 2nd floor whos a total pain in the ass but no one but me seems to notice cause he’s really good at hiding it.

    ……What?

  15. Tim Knight says:

    Forget the Powerbook, when do we get to see tabletized Sexbots????

  16. Tim Knight says:

    .. oh and Entity Porn!!

  17. Some guy says:

    is “tabletized” a euphemism for flat? Why would you want a flat-chested sexbot?

  18. Del says:

    I just opened CARS while working on a HPUX machine running Netscape 4.8. It was a very pleasant shade of purple.

    I liked it. Of course everything else was crazy on the page, but the color was nice.

  19. Fidget says:

    Everyone knows that the best way to force Apple to release a new PowerBook is to order one. The new model will be released the day your new machine ships.

  20. kman says:

    Well, maybe you are a looser. I don’t know. How am I supposed to know? I’ve never met you. How should I know if you suck or if you simply let go of things all the time? I just thought I’d say something to bring a little action to this boring site.

  21. Oziguana says:

    boring… LIKE YOUR MUM!! shes HOPELESS in bed… but heh, you already know that, eh, kman? *winks* eh? eh?

    Mwahahaha… I have exacted revenge on the dis-respector of CARS. That’ll teach him.

  22. MICHAEL EISNER says:

    i have no comment today.

  23. Decl says:

    fluege – namen – – krankenversicherung – fuehrerschein – hochzeit – fitness – tauschboersen – gedicht – geburtstag sprueche