30 Mar 05Apple Working On Static-Powered PowerBook.


Astonishing information today from within Apple hardware engineering confirms that the company is working on a power system for the upcoming PowerBook G5 that is derived from static electricity.

Based on user complaints about receiving static shocks from their PowerBook G4s, Apple has conceived an ingenious scheme for diverting static buildup to the laptop’s internal battery.

Intriguing, but not without its challenges.

According to one source, “You need the kind of static Gene Shalit or Yahoo Serious generates over the period of a week to keep his hair up just to get a G5 to start up and check your email. We’ve got a long way to go.”

Source throughout Apple indicate that a number of hardware engineers have been spotted around the Apple campus wearing felt bunny slippers and shuffling deliberately down the halls, attempting to generate as much static as possible.

Additionally, the static-powered PowerBook has already led to some uncomfortable situations where certain individuals were found vigorously rubbing their PowerBooks and unable to explain why because of their non-disclosure agreements.

“That doesn’t look good,” a source said. “For obvious reasons.”

Apple has refused to comment on the static-powered PowerBook saying it does not comment on products it has not released. However, one cannot help but note they said the same thing about the crank-powered iBook and look how that turned out.

OK, that may have been a bad example.

No Responses to “Apple Working On Static-Powered PowerBook.”

  1. Robin says:

    Here’s yer caffeine delivery system:

    http://www.thinkgeek.com/caffeine/

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