Sources within Apple’s retail group indicate that, building on the success of the regular Apple Stores and the Mini Apple Stores, the company is planning a line of Extreme Apple Stores.
According to those in the know, Extreme Apple Stores will feature the same great Macintosh computers, software, iPods and accessories as other Apple Stores, but will be in “extreme” locations. The move is being undertaken in an attempt to draw the important 18 to 35 year old demographic, which marketers know as the demographic that has little or no purchasing restraint.
Apple Senior Vice President of Worldwide Marketing Phil Schiller declined to confirm that Extreme Apple Stores were under development, but did say “Young people nowadays won’t even look at something unless it’s labeled ‘extreme’.
“Hence, your extreme sports, extreme news and extreme… um… pudding.
“I hear that even the porn industry is going extreme as regular porn is no longer drawing as many viewers.
“I don’t know that. It’s just… that’s what I heard. From… um… someone I certainly don’t know very well. More of an acquaintance than a friend…”
The first few stores to open will reportedly be the Extreme Apple Store McMurdo Station in Antarctica, the Extreme Apple Store K2 in the Himalayas between Pakistan and China, and the Extreme Apple Store Earth’s Core in the Earth’s core.
“All of these are very extreme environments,” said a source. “Extreme environments attract extreme people who engage in extreme spending. Or so we hope.
“I mean, when you’re at the Earth’s core and you need a USB hub, you don’t really care that it’s $175.”
Sources indicate that other Extreme Apple Store locations being considered are the International Space Station, Neverland and Sturgis.