In a disturbing sign that Apple faces an uphill battle should OS X be attacked by a more malicious virus, sources indicate that OS X developers at the company are not taking the Oompa-Loompa Trojan seriously.
In fact, Apple developers’ main reaction so far has been to laugh almost uncontrollably at the mere mention of the word “Trojan”. The unfortunate choice of the name “Oompa-Loompa” as a descriptor for this Trojan has only exacerbated the situation.
“Ha-ha!” said developer Chad Latham. “Oompa-Loompa Trojan! That is classic! Heh-heh. Little tiny Trojan. Heh-heh-heh.”
Latham and fellow developer Rob Gregory then did that annoying fingertips-only handshake.
No amount of chastising by senior management has corralled Apple’s juvenile developers.
“Look, I know that the name of this particular kind of malicious application is the same as a condom brand name,” Chief Software Technology Officer Avie Tevanian said.
“Wait… what’s a kind of condom?” a snickering Gregory asked.
“Uh… a Trojan,” Tevanian said.
Latham and Gregory burst out laughing.
“Ha-ha! Oh, man, you totally got him to say it!” Latham said.
“Ha-ha-ha!” Gregory laughed. “I know!”
Later, a frustrated Tevanian sought to enlist CEO Steve Jobs’ assistance.
“I just don’t know what to do with them, Steve,” Tevanian said. “They won’t take this seriously.”
“They won’t take what seriously?” Jobs asked.
“Ha-ha-ha!” Jobs laughed, doubling over. “Oh, man! Ah-ha-ha! Ha-ha! Ahhh, I got you to say it! Ah-heh. Heh-heh.”
Seeing Tevanian’s deadpan reaction, Jobs regained his composure.
“I’m sorry. It’s… um… it’s not funny. Got a problem. With that… that… thing.”
Apple may bring in a high school guidance biology teacher to talk to its developers.