In another sign that Steve Jobs may, indeed, have more money than God as many have said, sources close to the Almighty say He recently borrowed $5 from the mercurial Apple CEO.
On a recent edition of the 700 Club, evangelist Pat Robertson pleaded with viewers to help.
Closing his eyes and holding hands with co-host Terry Meeuwsen, Robertson said “I see something terrible. Just terrible, ladies and gentlemen. I see Our Lord receiving a five dollar bill from a man… I don’t know who he is, but he’s wearing glasses and… and a black turtleneck… no, it’s a mock turtleneck…
“Mock turtleneck,” Meeuwsen intoned, nodding her head in agreement.
“…and jeans… This is just awful. Please, please, send as much money as you can… preferably in large denominations… or you can simply mail us a signed check with the amount left blank and we’ll take care of the rest.”
Reached for comment, Yahweh shrugged off the incident.
“I was a little light this month and Steve was kind enough to lend me a five spot. It’s no big deal. I’ll have it back to him by Friday. Next Tuesday at the latest. Absolute latest.
“Assuming a couple of things come together for me early next week.”
It’s uncertain when Jobs surpassed the One, True God in net worth, but many suspect it was last year when Disney bought Pixar.
Responding to those who fear that if Jobs has more money than Jehovah, then Bill Gates must also, noted religious scholars pointed out that Gates is evil.
“Hence, his money is evil,” said divinity scholar Robert Hansen of the University of Chicago. “So, it’s like… negative money.
“It’s, uh, kind of complicated for a lay person to understand.”
Apple declined to comment, but the Cupertino campus was bathed in a warm, heavenly glow.