Nothing. Nadda. Zip. Zilch.

You know, I’d feel bad about us not getting a post together tonight, but I know for a fact that you just come here for the comments anyway, so it’s no big deal.

Anyway, you’ve got the whole weekend ahead of you and a wad of cash in your sweaty little fist (which is all covered in Cheeto dust), so maybe you could dump a little of it on one of our fine advertisers.

There’s Rogue Amoeba. They make good stuff. Although Kafasis tried to kill me that one time.

Well, there’s also Delicious Monster. The things they can do with an iSight camera. Tell you what. Although Shipley did call me a… well, let’s just say he said I like to do something to dogs that I don’t. Totally. I mean… really. I don’t even know how that would work.

Anyway, that brings us to our new advertisers: Shiny White Box and Many Tricks. They also make boss software and so far neither of their CEOs has tried to kill me or accused me of being into bestiality.

Of course, we’ve only just met so…

I should probably give them some time.

…

Do you think Gruber has this kind of relationship with his advertisers?

2,949 thoughts on “Nothing. Nadda. Zip. Zilch.”

  2. Holy crap, you did it. Post time: 9:47. First comment time: 9:47.

    I’m not sure that’s ever been done before.

  4. See I knew John would jump in and ruin my potential “two”. By the way John, The Suit of Bats is pissed at you man. I think he call in his “team”, if you know what I mean.

  10. I hear Adobe tried to kidnap Gruber’s kid and then when that didn’t work they just said BBEdit sucked. And everybody knows that’s all you have to say to get Gruber to cry.

  13. I honestly doubt that Gruber has that kind of a relationship with his advertisers, or his dogs, or his bats for that matter.

    Maybe I need to reread the post. Nah. All that scrolling just tires me out.

    Ask not for whom the bell tolls, because we don’t have a friggin’ bell. You’re just hearing echoes in your head again.

  14. Seems a suitable time to place this Brit agony aunt observation.

    “Dear Marge,
    I am into flagellation, necrophilia and bestiality.
    Am I flogging a dead horse?”

  15. “Holy crap, you did it. Post time: 9:47. First comment time: 9:47.

    I’m not sure that’s ever been done before.”

    Think nothing of it, Anonymous. That’s roughly what he said last year when I commented the same minute as the posting (technically he’s correct because when I did it, it wasn’t 9:47). He says that to everyone in that situation: it’s really the sign of a gracious host. He does it to make you feel special, and let’s face it, you are special, aren’t you? Of course you are!

  16. Sometimes I think John Moltz is Rip Ragged is Carbonfish is Huh? is Ace Deuce is OMGHAX is Anonymous is … loop loop recurse … I mean … that would explain how the alleged “Anonymous” poster posted at the same time as the said John Moltz.

    John, there’s a diagnosis for this. You can get help. The first step is … you know the first step. Everyone knows the first step.

    This would explain why everyone has the same sense of humor, and why everyone hates Zunes and Micro*gag*soft.

    Maybe I’m even John Moltz, although that’s not what my birth certificate says. Although, I’ve not really ever checked, so it *could* be possible.

  22. |||||||||||||| And on another subject entirely… |||||||||||||

    I hereby claim this article posted February 2, 2007, and its attendant comments, in the name of the Megapostians and the Gigapostians. It shall henceforth be referred to by the cognoscenti as the Tera-Post.

    Are you with me, Nxxx? Del? Psyko? Streetrabbit? 2000guitars? Huck? Walking Contradiction? Ficko? Bill Eccles? iBode? Cai? Anyone?

    Sadly, Moltz will never revive the Giga-Post. We have no choice but to dig the tunnel of the future for ourselves, starting with this promising hole. With our shovels, backhoes, and clam guns, we will soar!

  25. Stand strong and true, Ace Deuce! The mighty kingdom of My Pants™® All Rights Reserved shall reign again.

    I like backhoes and fronthoes, I don’t like to be discriminatory. But really back or front is their choice to make.

  26. I got some Cheeze Whiz, and the hot tubs should be here around midnight.

    Seeing myself, and my Pantsâ„¢ mentioned in someone else’s post truly brings a tear to my eye(just one, I have two), and let’s me know that all my random commenting is not in vain.
    *sniff*

    Oh, and John, if you want to know how ‘that’ works, let me know. Not that I actually did ‘that’ with those dogs, but my Pantsâ„¢ gave me the general idea.

  27. Tera-Post it is, Ace.
    Get off the rest of you or Del will descend from her mighty horse and spread Death and Destruction with her iFlames, Roller Ponies, Ninja Kittens and similar devilish devices or even her special MacintoIBMcompatible starling.
    Right Moltz, if you can clear them off, you can come too.
    As Frank said “Come fly with me” away to Tera-Post land WEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…………………………..

  28. Yahoo! (the exclamation, not the search site)

    The pirate ship of fools is launching, thanks to everybody clobbering the bow with copious bottles of bubbly!

  29. !!!!!!!!!!! I was thinking the same thought with my thinker about 10 posts ago…..!!!!!!!!!!

    I’ve picked out a nice little corner of this post (over by the monkey pen) the movers should be here in about an hour.

    Nice hat!

  30. Please, let’s not get into Gruber’s relationship with his advertisers. How one man can be *simultaneously* clingy, abusive *and* co-dependent, I don’t know.

    Plus he’s down with The Deck, so it’s basically one big 70s-style swinging club.

  31. When my great grandchildren ask, “What did you ever do that was worth two shits?” I probably won’t hear them. I should be long dead before it comes up. I really don’t remember where I was going with that.

    Poster #13 on the Tera-Post. I’m weeping like a little girl. Which brings up today’s safety tip: Men, don’t sit down too quickly when you’re wearing jammies.

    Early to bed
    Early to rise
    Go to CARS
    Make up lies.

  32. Aaron – aha! Of course! Because it’s the best!

    Not that I’m into it.

    And my apologies, Ace. I’ve got that thing the guy in Memento had.

  34. Is the Tera-Post in any way related to Tera Patrick? ‘Cause, um, she’d, um, make a really good model for a sexbot.

    And if we’re digging a tunnel, can we make sure it’s not with those guys who did the Big Dig in Boston? I’d hate to have all this crashing down on my head.

    “I noticed you’ve stopped stuttering.”
    “I’ve been giving myself shock treatments.”
    “Up the voltage.”

  35. I believe that’s Tara Patrick. If you simply think of the Tera-Post as TP, you can make the letters stand for whatever you want them to.

    That reminds me…..

  37. Just seen my first advert for Vista on British TV. It uses Wow.
    Please confirm it stands for ‘Wanker or what?’

  38. Giga was the next step up from Mega, so Tera is the obvious successor to Giga. Ironically, the Giga-Post was unable to exceed the comment count of the Mega-Post, presumably because of limitations in WordPress. Is it the number of comments that matters? The number of words? The sheer brilliance and literacy that will make the Tera-Post greater? Science doesn’t know. Edgar Cayce can’t tell us. Only the inexhorable march of time, perhaps.

    We could dedicate the Tera-Post to the memory of Tera Patricks of Mac360 fame. She was quite chatty.

    http://www.teratalks.com/index.php/teratalks/comments/tera_jean_patricks_1959_2006/

  45. So this thing’s already losing it at post 44… so sad. And I really really miss Bill. That box he found that killed a few people, oh man those were great times.

  46. Could you guys please cut Rob Enderle some slack?

    Just because he doesn’t know anything about Macs or Apple or computers in general should be no reason to deny him a chance to make a buck on the internet after all. Besides, sometimes he writes about other stuff like markets and high finance. Okay, he doesn’t know anything about that stuff either, but still, the Mac fanboys all calling him bad names is not good for his psyche.

    Every time he comes here to the library to write his stuff, everyone picks on him and some of the guys won’t even cut him in on their computer time until late in the afternoon. He’s getting depressed.

    Also, it’s his turn to buy the Thunderbird tonight. If you see him, remind him.

    Thanks,

    Paul T. and John D.

  47. Ooh, poor Rob! I hope we didn’t hurt his feelings! I hope we didn’t make him go back on his promise to stay sober! What can we possibly to right this wrong? We should have cared when we had the chance!

    Psych!

  49. Ok, so I’m digging away over in that corner. No, over there. Anyway, I might have… um… Ya’ll might not want to use the toilets for awhile.
    Yeah.

    um.

    Anyone have some PVC pipe?

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