You know, I’d feel bad about us not getting a post together tonight, but I know for a fact that you just come here for the comments anyway, so it’s no big deal.
Anyway, you’ve got the whole weekend ahead of you and a wad of cash in your sweaty little fist (which is all covered in Cheeto dust), so maybe you could dump a little of it on one of our fine advertisers.
There’s Rogue Amoeba. They make good stuff. Although Kafasis tried to kill me that one time.
Well, there’s also Delicious Monster. The things they can do with an iSight camera. Tell you what. Although Shipley did call me a… well, let’s just say he said I like to do something to dogs that I don’t. Totally. I mean… really. I don’t even know how that would work.
Anyway, that brings us to our new advertisers: Shiny White Box and Many Tricks. They also make boss software and so far neither of their CEOs has tried to kill me or accused me of being into bestiality.
Of course, we’ve only just met so…
I should probably give them some time.
…
Do you think Gruber has this kind of relationship with his advertisers?
Ace,
I’m not even responsible for myself, let alone the tunnels. It’s just another Bush/Blair relationship.
I will admit to being the Morris Cultural Attache and I’ve done a good job. You’ll never know how many times I’ve prevented the tunnels being invaded by the bearded beer swilling hordes and what thanks do I get? Bugger all.
And why haven’t I received any pay since Christmas?
Bloody bunch of well-intentioned-but-couldn’t-organise-revelry-in-a-brewery-leftists.
Wait a second, Nxxx gets paid for tunnel work? No one has ever offered to pay me for any tunnel work, let alone actually giving me money. How do I get on this bandwagon?
Never mind, last time I was down there it took me forever to figure out how to escape it. I thought I lost my mind in there for a while, but then I remembered I didn’t have a mind to begin with.
No iPhone here, but that’s not saying much. I hate phones. Phones that are always begging to be your shadow and never leave you alone is my personal version of hell. I’m not talking about a pleasure ride down the river Styx here, I’m talking about full blown 9th layer of hell, repleate with damned souls, burning brimstone and Satan himself playing coochie-coo with your soul.
Besides, I’d just get it all drunk and disorderly just to see what happened next. Newton’s apparently get rather roudy when you do that to them, maybe iPhones are worse.
🙂
Happy Fourth from the other side of the Pond.
Thanks for remembering us Nxxx. We descendants of immigrants really need a day for watching things explode without hurting anybody, since we live in a nation founded on exploding things to hurt various peoples for various reasons. After 230 years we haven’t even outgrown that, and so others are making sure to hurt us by exploding more things. Maybe we should give up on nation building elsewhere and do some nation building at home…
Oops, lost control and went all serious and political for a minute. My bad.
How about a Union of Tunnel Workers?
Goes well with my Welsh mining background.
Can we accept strike period nominations before the actual establishment of the Union?
I still have all my fingers and toes! That makes it a good fourth for me.
Now about in a month of two all the fireworks will go on clearance and we can have an even BIGGER bash!
Del, glad to hear all your digits are intact. I managed to explode all of my devices with all my(wait let me count real quick, I was pretty drunk, 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20,… 21, yes thats all of them) digits intact.
Ace Deuce made a comment like the following:
That’s because blowing stuff up is so COOL!
Immature? Maybe, but we *ARE* a rather young nation – at least compared to many other nations. Besides, blowing stuff up is so COOL!
Yes, I too have kept all appendages through this 4th – by watching someone else blow shit up! Why risk your own well being when you can watch someone else do it instead? If they screw up and hurt themselves, it’s much easier to laugh at them than it is to laugh at yourself on the way to the hospital after you screwed up.
I like the fun of lighting them. This year one of the sets I bought had glow in the dark wicks! That was fun. The next day we always put the waste and duds into the burn barrel and light it up. It’s fun to see how well those dud’s go off when you put them into engulfing flame!
*Desperately waiting for fireworks to go on sale for another night of fun*
On a separate note, MIchigan has one of the strictest firework laws. Basically only snakes and sparklers are legal, but it is rarely enforced. Even Walmart sells illegal fireworks.
From what we know of their offshoot over here, ASDA, evrything they sell should be illegal.
The laws have tightened over here although illegal Chinese miniature nuclear weapons are obtainable and recommended, if you only need one hand. Most of our activity takes place around November 5th, that is September 5th to January 5th. We mourn Guido Fawkes’s failure to blow up the King and Parliament. He was a Roman Catholic and following this failure, religion in any form rapidly declined in popularity.
So, what is the next target? 1357?
My wife is out of town for the evening. The Firth, Nebraska to Fort Cobb, Oklahoma tunnel is out of air freshener again. The TeraPost will certainly end soon. How can it be that we’re neglecting the soy-belt tunnels?
I was going to be depressed, but then I remembered I could get more beer.
Of course beer is a depressant (albeit effervescent) thus the cycle continues.
You’ve got it Ace, Le Grand Boucle starts in London today.
URGENT WARNING.
Further to my previous post, I’ve just realised that tomorrow’s stage is in a South Easterly direction. The resultant North Western thrust to the British Isles, will distort the sub Atlantic Tunnels causing distortion and possible flooding.
Could the iPonies be flown over and gallop in the opposite direction with equal force or give the North American Continent a similar North Westerly push?
All the Touristes de France have tested positive for urine. I think they have to call it off.
This just in from the Tower of French –
Donner un coup de pied le grille-pain. Mon épicerie ont accru des cheveux.
I think it has something to do with a car accident, or possibly a retirement portfolio.
YaY beer!
IF only I weren’t at work and it wasn’t 10 am.
I second the motion, Del.
I think that Rip meant to say:
Einen Hieb von Fuß geben das Gitter- Brot. Mein Krämerladen haben Haare gesteigert.
Right you guys have nicked my favourite numbers and now you’re planning to get me posting 1300. Well no way, Jose. That way lies bad luck one hundred times. Pick on some other mug.
BTW Del, it wasn’t 10 am, it was 10:03 but not BST, whatever that is.
What 10:03? That is beer time 🙂
I think we have to wait until this Friday the 13th before breaking 1300.
And if you kids continue to fight over the best numbers, we’ll just have to remove them from the sequence. Is that what you want?
Yes, but what I really meant to convey is:
La birra è su fuoco. Nascondere i pattini dalla gente anziana.
And this is just a bike race.
Promise me you are not going to renumber this post, please.
You’re not out there waiting for me to appear and then stack whilst typing are you?
Don’t think I’ll post this.
Got away with that one.
The trap is laid. Are you?
Don’t do it!
Poor Ace, He’s already reaping the punishment with the terrible burden of a “first post” over in the main CARS area.
No sympathy. Woke me up early this morning demanding that I help him with the stacking.
As you are well aware, I would never indulge in stacking.
I had thought my first post days were over, but I guess it was a sleepy day for most yesterday.
Hey Del, do you IT types ever give free advice? Because iStat Pro tells me my CPU A Core 1 is running a temp of 130, CPU A Core 2 is at 131, and my GPU is at 137. Do I starve a fever or feed a fever? I always get those two mixed up.
I’ve had a couple first posts. But you know that first post thing is a young man’s game. Top ten, well, yeah – if I’ve had my afternoon nap and a light dinner. But you know, when you reach a certain age it’s time to be a little more dignified and careful with public behaviors like that.
On a completely unrelated note, does anyone know a good way to get everclear and elephant shit stains out of a silk tutu?
Hello everybody!, now that we have that 1300 taken care of, what’s next? Ace, sorry to hear about your CPUs. Maybe a bucket of ice water would do the trick.
I’m sorry gang, let you down, got first post.
I am ashamed and unworthy.
Ahh, the smell of coffee in the evening… Wait! That’s not coffee, it’s toffee. Who coated me in burnt sugar while I was napping?
And stop licking me!
—————————————————-
Nxxx, if you’re getting first posts again, I guess there’s something to be said for vitamin B12. Or whatever is in that pill you take.
I have foresworn everything by mouth.
Mind you, the cocktail inside the syringe is something else.
I have “Fan Controll” installed on my MacBook Pro so I can run the fans at a higher than normal speed to keep things cool.
You can also move to the arctic circle.
Well, 1313 is just around the corner (so to speak), followed not too far behind by the palindromic 1331 (!).
Of course, then comes 1337!
Just seen the news about giant badgers terrorising parts of Southern Iraq.
Have some of Del’s creations escaped?
Giant badgers? Well, at least we haven’t started sending in lawyers. That would just be cruel.
And yes. I did want to be number 1313. Thank you.
I’d present a reason, but that would clash with the decor.
I was thinking of dropping dry ice into my G5 tower but am afraid it would become carbonated.
Ace,
Ice also increases your carbon footprint or so I’m told, however when John coughs up the million dollars, I’ll send you three Japanese paper fans, one for each hand.
see this is why i hate blogs, they lock up a browser and then when they’re loaded they have alot of nothing.
Nxxx,
It’s DRY ice that increases the carbon footprint, since it is pure solid carbon dioxide.
Thanks Doc, but how do I get my shoes soled with dry ice?
You see I take UK men size 10 or Euro 46/47, so I really will have a big carbon footprints.
Nxxx, we’ll try to get Thor to send Al Gore over to explain the concept to you. He can bring the “litmus” test for carbon neutrality.
Ace,
Is he the inventor of the Algorithm?
Long before he invented the internet, Al developed the rhythmic pattern named for him. Anyone who saw Al dance the Macarena in 1996 knows that he has hot rhythms coming out his ears.