You know, I’d feel bad about us not getting a post together tonight, but I know for a fact that you just come here for the comments anyway, so it’s no big deal.
Anyway, you’ve got the whole weekend ahead of you and a wad of cash in your sweaty little fist (which is all covered in Cheeto dust), so maybe you could dump a little of it on one of our fine advertisers.
There’s Rogue Amoeba. They make good stuff. Although Kafasis tried to kill me that one time.
Well, there’s also Delicious Monster. The things they can do with an iSight camera. Tell you what. Although Shipley did call me a… well, let’s just say he said I like to do something to dogs that I don’t. Totally. I mean… really. I don’t even know how that would work.
Anyway, that brings us to our new advertisers: Shiny White Box and Many Tricks. They also make boss software and so far neither of their CEOs has tried to kill me or accused me of being into bestiality.
Of course, we’ve only just met so…
I should probably give them some time.
…
Do you think Gruber has this kind of relationship with his advertisers?
Amen, brother!
Is that what that was? I figured it was just earwax.
What ever happened to the “little dance” that used to be ritually performed on the Giga-post?
I have been told that my hip sway whilst playing ‘Ipenema’ on the tenor, is “Very sexy.”
What does that mean or imply?
The elephants do the “little dance” these days. I think most of them have gone to the Ames-Keokuk tunnel where they heard there is fresh everclear.
Also, I think some of the iPrairie dogs have learned it.
I always do my little dance after everyone has gone home. It’s a public service I offer. My little dance has never been called ‘sexy.’ Which sort of negates its contraceptive benefits (or perhaps causes same). Either way, it doesn’t substitute for a chilled “Big Bloke” of Foster’s Lager.
Foster’s?
Young’s is the thing.
Mind you, Wandsworth doesn’t smell the same since their brewery went,
thank goodness.
I feel more like I do now than I did before.
My favorite commercial business, the Deschutes Brewery (makers of Mirror Pond Pale Ale) have introduced an IPA. I have found a lovely consistency in that the sixth bottle tasted every bit as good as the first.
I should probably water the hedgehogs now.
I’d love to nail 1331, but I feel that Nxxx is going to get it this time around.
Don’t you agree?
By gad Sir,
You are wrong.
Disgusted Col Retd
Dare not complain.
The Colonel is too much for me.
*Wanders off sobbing uncontrollably.*
Now the question is who gets the 1337 post?
Not I.
The U.S. Post system delivers to a time schedule?
Over here we just have to sit and wait for a man to appear with a cleft stick.
He gives you the mail and I’ll leave it to your imagination as what happens to the cleft stick.
I am 1337 -1
Bingo.
And I am 1337 + 1
Say, are there any tunnel entrances in the neighborhood of Leipzig? I will be there for a few weeks, so you won’t see much of me around these parts.
Del,
I guess that makes us bookends!
Yay us!
I’ll have the tunnels done before you get there!
Careful with those tunnels…I cut a tunnel in half lengthwise and ended up with two troughs. Now I’m surrounded by swine. It wouldn’t be so bad except they look like those that took charge at Animal Farm. They are questioning me in a threatening manner but I don’t understand them, and they don’t understand English, or Esperanto or Pig-Latin, which are the only languages I’m fluent in. I hope they don’t search my backpack because there is a can of Spam in there and that might push them over the edge.
Does anyone know piggish?
Pigs are very sweet-natured, but don’t show them the Spam. If you can get them in a corn versus carrot argument, you should be able to slip out the back.
I’m sure LEET isn’t your real name.
Ace, how dare you question Leet’s nomencluture veracity, we never question yours.
Hey , I went up to the lanai to have a drink, and there’s nothing there. Just tumbleweeds and sagebrush as far as the eye can see. What happened? Where is everybody? Mommy!
We’re all cramped up in John’s Nova with Howard searching for The Entity.
Howard! Not again. Someone pass me a towel.
Okay, you had the weekend off. Get back to work!
Ace,
Wash your mouth out with soap and water.
You know four letter words are not allowed here, w–k in particular.
Four lttr words arnt legl? Don’t pnsh meee Nxxx. I’lll beee good.
Pigs are good. Pigs are our friends. They invest way more in breakfast than chickens do.
Hey, now that I have a new Mac Pro, is it okay for me to gargle in the living room while I watch Headline News, or do I still have to watch I Love Lucy reruns? I’m so sick of having to watch the same one over and over about the Jail with Teeny and Weeny (Itsy and Bitsy?) I always gargle too loud to be sure.
I feel even more insignificant.
Rip has a new Mac Pro and all I’ve got is a G4 m——— no I can’t, it’s too shameful and inadequate, mind you it can double post on the main board.
I understand that some people may be somewhat covetous and envious of my new toy. I feel your pain. Well, no, really… I don’t. I did until Monday night. The death of my old favorite G5 was painful. Then there was the wait… almost a week of stealing a momentary web fix here and there with wifey’s G4 PowerBook. Then of course was that gas attack Friday night. And the stupid cat got on the bed. I still can’t find my other argyle sock. The washing machine makes a really funny noise. We have to refinish the hardwood floors. I don’t know what we’re having for dinner tomorrow night. There should be some steaks in the freezer. Where the hell did I put my glasses?
I seem to have gotten off track.
I really thought we had another bag of pork rinds.
Yep.
It’s powerful lonely out here in the Tera-Post these days. Wind whistlin’ through the trees, an occasional cricket chirp.
In the old days we’d get quite a crowd.
Del used to lounge in that there chaise, with a ring of kittens around her, guarding the perimeter.
Nxxx usually fell asleep in the hot tub by the bar. Always on Greenwich time.
And Rip used to volunteer for the bartending, just for the tips, I guess.
Those were the days when rhe TP had pep and pizzazz…you young whippersnappers wouldn’t remember…yep we dug a lot of tunnels…zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Dang it, Ace. Y’Got me all choked up. Either that or… Yup, just as I thought. Somebody let the elephants get into the CheezWhiz. That’s just nasty.
I say Rip, old chap, old bean,
Fall asleep I might but not always on Her Majesty’s Greenwich Mean Time. When Brenda, our favourite name for Her Maj, degrees that it is British Summertime, I sleep by it.
It WAS good back then, whipping the parlour maids and sending small children up chimneys, or was it the other way round?
Fetching another round of Stoli and prune juice smoothies (Arctic pile drivers)
G’night all.
Wow, things really have fallen off here. Used to be multiple posts a day, but now looks like we’re lucky if SOMEONE posts in a day.
Today is mine! All mine, no one elses! HA!
Or maybe I should say “Har-Har”, more like Nelson Muntz. I think I spelled it right, didn’t I? Not Nelson’s name, I *know* I got that right, it’s his laugh that I question.
I know I know, it’s still in my head. Spider Pig becomes Harry Plopper, then leads to the destruction of Springfield. Oh crap, I hope I didn’t give anything away to anyone who’s waiting on seeing the Movie. Sorry if I did, but you’re late anyway.
If you have no idea what I’m talking about, then you don’t count anyway. How’s that saying go, if you don’t know then you don’t know … D’OH!
Oh, don’t get me wrong, it’s not Harry Plopper’s fault. He couldn’t help it and didn’t know better.
Hey, I just made post 1357. Nice. Somehow that give me a warm feeling in the cockles of my heart, wherever that happens to be.
Shit, maybe I’m having an infarction. No, I think it’s just heartburn. But either way, making this post made me feel something.
Damn, I wanted to post 1357, and it’s a long way to 2468.
We’d get there sooner if Del would return from wherever she is and shoulder some of the load.
Walking Contradiction, if you can keep the pace up we should be okay. Say, are you related to Working Contraindication? Just wondering.
Ace,
2468 must always be followed by a shouted “Motorway”, to remind us of Tom Robinson’s fine hit of Twentieth Century. We will NOT mention any of his other hits.
BTW Welcome to the Disappointed Posters Club.
I R back from vacation!
w00t!
Sorry for the lack of posts but I was out in the boonies with no wireless or even phone.
I am back to pick up my share of the load. Plus I have several new ideas for monsters.
Ace Deuce posted:
I’ll do my best, but we all know how flakey I can be. It’s hard sometimes to find enough time in the day to both do that 4 letter word thing AND make posts in here. I know which one I’d prefer, but I don’t sign the paychecks either.
Who’s Working Contraindication? Never heard that one before. A poster on this site I’ve conveniently missed? (To answer your question directly, nope.)
Oh, almost forgot … welcome back Del!
Doing my part to build the posts to the now coveted 2468 … 🙂
Del, glad you R back. Your vacation almost entirely deflated the Tera-Post. Now we have to pump it up again, like an inflatable sexbot.
Walking Contradiction: my mistake. I didn’t mean Working Contraindication–I meant Wracking Contraction. Any relation?
Del? It’s about time you got back.
While you were gone, somebody spiked the everclear with fruit juice and sliced peaches and the elephants have been acting funny. Also, since you’ve been gone there have been no iPrairiedog sightings, several tunnels have collapsed, and we’re out of pork rinds.
Excuse me. The kettle’s on the boil and I’m so easily called away.
Dell back from hell. No phones, no wireless?
Surely a MacDonalds or a Starbucks, they’ve even got those at the North Pole.
Hey, how about a MacBucks and a StarDonalds?
Now there’s a challenge to your skills.
The closest Starbucks was a little over 40 miles away and the closest McDonalds was about 25 miles away.
One nice thing about being in the sticks in Michigan is that there are rednecks and militia members everywhere. The perfect base creatures for my new experiments. I also was able to collect porcupines, beaver, kingfisher, monster crayfish, giant fresh water clams, and turkey vultures. So either we’ve got the start of a good stew or some fun new combinations.
I’m wondering how much fun a porcuphant would be?
Porcuphant sounds great, Del but who picks up the spine dressing bills?
I’m thinking a porcuphant will be just about impossible to house train. How are you going to tell it, “No,” successfully and with any kind of survival rate? Paper training will require a Sunday New York Daily News every day.
Please cross a gecko with an elephant. Then I could explain the elephants hanging from the ceiling.
If we make a geckephant we need to make sure they properly potty trained first! Can you imagine what would happen if giant plops of geckephant poo fell from the ceiling!
I am liking the idea of a crayitten. A good small size, would use a litter box, and with giant claws of doom. What could go wrong?
Ace’s problems explaining elephants hanging from the ceiling are easily cured at the Tunnels AA Centre.