You know, I’d feel bad about us not getting a post together tonight, but I know for a fact that you just come here for the comments anyway, so it’s no big deal.
Anyway, you’ve got the whole weekend ahead of you and a wad of cash in your sweaty little fist (which is all covered in Cheeto dust), so maybe you could dump a little of it on one of our fine advertisers.
There’s Rogue Amoeba. They make good stuff. Although Kafasis tried to kill me that one time.
Well, there’s also Delicious Monster. The things they can do with an iSight camera. Tell you what. Although Shipley did call me a… well, let’s just say he said I like to do something to dogs that I don’t. Totally. I mean… really. I don’t even know how that would work.
Anyway, that brings us to our new advertisers: Shiny White Box and Many Tricks. They also make boss software and so far neither of their CEOs has tried to kill me or accused me of being into bestiality.
Of course, we’ve only just met so…
I should probably give them some time.
…
Do you think Gruber has this kind of relationship with his advertisers?
Wow, thanks for the clarification, Del. You farmers really know your agribusiness. I followed your link, and there’s a wealth of information that should help me solve the mystery of the subterranean dogcattle. The recorded moof sounds right, but the cave dwellers are smaller than the dogcow that was on the Apple campus; more the size of a Newfoundland adult.
I know my mutant beasts! Again I had nothing to do with the miniaturization of the dogcow for pet or single family milk experience.
… really….
we are suffering a turkey shortage. Any chance of a cross between a turkey and a Eurofighter? It would arrive ready plucked but please do not arm it.
Del is either a lot older than she claims, she is a reincarnation or she has a time machine. Been practising a swingy version of ‘Good King Wenceslas Looked Out’ on the tenor, probably the Christmas Number One next year, and recalled singing “Yonder pheasant, who is he?”. On checking up, Wenceslas, The Duke of Bosnia died aged twenty-eight in 935. The questions are, was that pheasant one of her mutants and did it kill him?
1976, the bicentenial again, didn’t know centuries could be bi. Didn’t think numbers had a sexual orientation. (Well,… maybe 69 does)
Well I guess I’m outta here for awhile, dial up at home is too slow to surf, happy holidays and see ya next year.0
Obligatory Festivus post.
Someone reminded me it was Boxing Day, so I searched through the cable listings for a match. No luck.
Which is okay, since I think boxing is too brutal anyway. I watched a thumb-wrestling match instead.
Ace,
You misunderstood ‘Boxing Day’.
It is the day for boxing ears, just cut them off and put them in a box BUT make sure that you are used to your contact lens first.
Beginning the decade of greed or prosperity, your call. 1980.
Peanut butter was not invented in 1980.
Swine!
Days of Margaret Hilda Thatcher!
*Reaches for whisky bottle and escape.*
I paid a visit to the subterranean dogcattle yesterday. They seem to be doing fine. I brought a couple of salt blocks in case they aren’t getting enough minerals from the cavern rocks. Also some alfalfa and steak bones for a holiday treat.
I’m worried that the perpetual “daylight” is going to drive them bonkers, so I’m looking into some way to automatically dim the lights to match the conditions topside. That way, if they ever come to the outside world they won’t have jet-lag.
Are we gonna continue this thing in 2008 or not?
Who cares? It’s only 1984. What does dogbeef taste like? Chicken, I’ll bet.
I wonder if there is, somewhere in the world, right now, a Zune squirting Bananrama. Statistically speaking, it’s possible.
Or, possibly, Bananarama.
Rip,
Thou speakest of the Greatest Group Ever. Beatles, Stones, Zep, Credence? None had the grace and majesty of Bananarama. Wait I got it wrong or was i thinking of the Spice, no, definitely not the Shads, I think I’ll go back to sleep.
hapeenooyar.
Only 20 more comments to reach the present!
Wait, I reached the present LAST week.
Happy New Year, all!
At this rate, I bet we never get here. Or now.
I last posted in 1976 (Dec. 21st) and I’m the one who has to push us out of the 80’s, well let’s hope that the 90’s go better, seem to remember something about Jed Clampett’s cousin becoming president some time in there.
We are all being polite and waiting for Del to post.
Why?
Haven’t a bloody clue.
I’m back from holiday vacation and *not* a secret mission in the year 935.
So .. Best and worst Christmas Presents
Best : RC indoor flying helicopter Absolute blast and holds up to kittens pulling them out of the air.
Worst: A jar of potted meat. First off potted meat!!!! EWWWW makes spam look appetizing and the small problem I don’t eat meat.
Del, welcome back! Maybe you could take the pot out of the potted meat and just do the pot, the kittens would take care of the meat.
The stuff looks so gross I don’t think I’d even give it to them.
Though it does look better than lutefisk *BLECH* I make it a practice to not eat food soaked in lye.
I did get to eat at a Waffle House. Not one in PA but in OH. I wish Waffle Houses were allowed in MI 🙁
Well Well Well. I leave for a few months and the world is turned upside down. What a Pain™® Next thing you’re going to tell me is that the world is round, and the people at the bottom are standing upside down….
uh
hang on while I go google something
Being a well brought up Brit, I politely wait for Del to post.
All she does is make me feel hungry.
Waffle houses are banned in Michigan because they won’t protect the three little pigs-in-a-pancake from the big bad wolf.
Ooh, soon we’re going to jump to a new page! I can hardly wait.
And there was I wondering if “Waffle Houses” was an amusing reference to the caucuses.
Since Mr. Moltz has grouped our comments into centuries, I’ll see you all on the 21st century page. Be sure to bring your flying cars and phasors.
Y2K.
Gravity ceases functioning. Airplanes stop flying. Trains stop running. The laws of physics are repealed because of two digit dates in Windows computers. (well…not really, but it could have. Damn.)
In other news, it is discovered that having your finger on the global-annihilation button does not require that you be able to pronounce “nuclear.” (Verified by Darwin)
First to add a comment on one page only to have it appear on another?
Bingo!
Sorry Ace,
Our checker has disqualified your card. You have to wait for your number to be called by the official Bingo Caller, just filling in the holes in the Ps, Os, Rs, Qs and Bs does not count. Yes, I know we’re being picky.
So, um, why’s the Giga-Post alive? I feel CARS is going to be ripped apart from the inside out if the power of the UBER-Posts are left to roam free.
MARK
Sorry Ace you are incorrect. Waffle Houses arn’t allowed in MI because they serve grits. I believe it is a state law that prevents the sale. Though it may be part of our constitution. Unfortunately that means we get Denny’s and IHOP. *blech* as opposed to Waffle House and Perkins.
In my neck of the woods, we don’t have those Perkins and Waffle House venues anyway. We have Elmer’s, and the Original Pancake House (which has my vote for best in the galaxy).
This comment is so two-years-ago.
So I get last year?
Looking forward or backwards?
Ace, you are having a bad time recently, what with Waffle Houses, I still don’t know what they are, and Bingo, I have consulted my gypsy friend who says everything you predict will happen for the next six months, so get your dosh on the horses.
Why do I feel guilty?
Hey everybody, let’s put on a show and raise money to pay off Psyko’s college debt! Whaddya say?
Yay! I love the idea!
MARK
Can you dance to my swing version of Good King Wenceslas? If so you’ve got a tenor saxophone.
Can you also dance to the slow movement of Dvorak’s Ninth Symphony played on a flute. If so, you’ve got The Tunnel Show providing the pay and expenses are good.
Can manage some Morris Tunes on a melodeon if you are desperate.
I think Del should be dancing.
MARK
I can play Royal Fireworks Music on the recorder. Do you want the soprano part or the tenor?
We can use thumbtacks to make tap shoes, but we’ll need a ton of sequins and glue for the sparkly effect.
Ooohoooh Sparkly is Shiny!!!
I’ve done my part for the cause. I have taught the fleas I collected off of the dogcows to dance. I expect soon I shall have taught them many useful skills including those I need to take over the world… ummm I mean … make people I don’t like itchy.
Doc,
Can you launch the rockets from your recorder whilst playing or does it cause severe indigestion?
Doc,
Can you launch the rockets from your recorder whilst playing or does it cause severe indigestion?
Sorry about the repeat.
There’s a joke there, somewhere.
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Nxxx, can you repeat the line where you say “Doc, can you launch the rockets from your recorder whilst playing or does it cause severe indigestion?” because it’s so damn funny.
I’ll wait.
Del,
I understand that it is the Michigan Primaries next week. I am seeking an agent who will be well rewarded after my election by being made both State and Defence secretary (you do wish to rule the World , don’t you?). I shall sit back and let you do what ever you want.
Get me on the Democrat, Republican and, if you have one, Independent Tunnel lists and make sure I win. The matter of not being American born can be handled in the same way as National Guard records. The aim is to get me top of all the lists so that it doesn’t matter what you vote for, you elect me, without having to bother with siblings or hanging chad problems. At my age, I am sexually inactive so the interns are safe.
Go for it girl.