You know, I’d feel bad about us not getting a post together tonight, but I know for a fact that you just come here for the comments anyway, so it’s no big deal.
Anyway, you’ve got the whole weekend ahead of you and a wad of cash in your sweaty little fist (which is all covered in Cheeto dust), so maybe you could dump a little of it on one of our fine advertisers.
There’s Rogue Amoeba. They make good stuff. Although Kafasis tried to kill me that one time.
Well, there’s also Delicious Monster. The things they can do with an iSight camera. Tell you what. Although Shipley did call me a… well, let’s just say he said I like to do something to dogs that I don’t. Totally. I mean… really. I don’t even know how that would work.
Anyway, that brings us to our new advertisers: Shiny White Box and Many Tricks. They also make boss software and so far neither of their CEOs has tried to kill me or accused me of being into bestiality.
Of course, we’ve only just met so…
I should probably give them some time.
…
Do you think Gruber has this kind of relationship with his advertisers?
Forgot to add, see you there.
I want 1729 as it is the smallest number that can be obtained from adding two cubed numbers in two different ways. I wonder why?
Almost teh weekend!
MIght go see either Bourne, Simsons, or Hairspray.
If I do I’ll give you the review when I’m back at work Monday.
Del,
You’ve got three fellers on the go at once?
Why do you call them Bourne, Simsons or Hairspray or is it too embarrassing?
BTW Better not to review as we are all jealous already.
Youngest daughter went to see Bourne. Liked it.
Granddaughter was born. I like that. The genetic material of one of the great obscure-but-occasionally-recognizable clans lives on.
Who brought the goat?
Congratulations, Rip.
Hope everything went and goes well.
Enough of normal matters, If you don’t like the colour of babies, can one paint them?
Sorry, that seems a fairly normal question, let’s try
We have a Thameside Road in Chelsea called Cheney Walk.
Is it any relation to your VP?
Hmmm. I hadn’t considered that. She seems to be a fairly ordinary shade of reddish-purple at the moment. I would have preferred something closer to pink or peach.
At the point where Cheney Walk crosses Bush Way, look for a sticker that says “Manufactured by Halliburton.” If not, no.
If the road is lined with shattered dreams, we may have a match.
As Mick Jagger used to live there in the early to mid-seventies, it matches.
I don’t think you are supposed to paint babies. I think you are supposed to dye or tattoo them depending on how often you want to change the color. The paint just flakes off.
Ended up staying home and not seeing anything. Oh well. One question did your daughter mention anything about shaky camera syndrome in this Bourne? I loved the first one and would have loved the second one, but the stoopid shaky camera syndrome was SOOOOO annoying.
Del, if you look at the credits to the second Bourne film, you’ll find that the Camera Operator was Klemens Parkinson, which might explain the shaking. I hear there were lots of crew self-medicating on this new one, so you should be okay.
Depending on the medication.
I’m puzzled.
Bourne is the Town in Cambridgeshire, where the British Racing Motor was built as the rightful successor to the English Racing Automobile.
Cambridgeshire is not prone to earthquake, so camera shake is unlikely.
Are you certain it is not Del shake?
Ace,
Yeah I figured it was Klemens Parkinson or good ole John “The Spaz” Epilep.
Sometimes the equal opportunity stuff goes too far.
—
Nxxx,
Um sorry I stampeded a herd of overweight elephants through there. Sorry to cause all the problems.
You see? The sliced peach flotilla in the everclear is causing the elephants to get fat. I knew this would come to no good.
Must apologise for my ignorance, now realise that your Bourne is a butcher version of our Bond, not a historic Cambridgeshire Town.
Just a though Rip, have you thought about gold plating your granddaughter? You’d better give the parents an AK 47 or an iFlame at the same tome.
Bourne butchered Bond? Really I thought Bond would have one that battle.
AceDeuce asked:
Nope. And before this goes any further, I’m not really related to anyone. I was a test tube experiment gone awry because of local toxic waste. Oh, and there was that thing with the undead creatures, but it didn’t affect me. Much.
Del – I’ve always considered the concept of a beaver vulture to be rather interesting. It can fly from tree to tree and damn them all. Plus it could fly overhead and smack people with it’s tail.
Sweet! I think the name will be BRIALLIANT!
beature Pronoucned like the americanized slang pronunciation for bitch .
That’s weird the pronunciation key didn’t show up.
Let me try this again:
Beature — pronounced bee-ATCH-ure
Bitch — pronounced bee-ATCH
Del,
Over here bitch is pronounced dog.
Would you please ensure that the beaver vulture is unable to walk, swim or fly the Atlantic.
Either way.
You got it Nxxx, I’ll make sure they roll their way over there.
Here in the Pacific Northwest, the Barred Owl is displacing the Spotted Owl. I’d really rather we had a plaid owl. Del, do you have the genetic material to concoct a plaid owl, or perhaps paisley? I know you’re busy with other people’s requests, but if you just send the ingredients, I’ll do the rest.
Paisley? No bloody taste.
Indian printed muslin, more like it.
Can we send your grey squirrels back as they are wiping out our red ones. Realise that they are suspected of Castro support but honestly all they do is sit in trees and eat nuts. Oh and die.
If you can’t recall your lot, could you breed a giant red to frighten and fight off all the greys, please?
First post-FireWire message posted on the Tera-Post!
Woohoo!
That was almost fun.
Del,
Having finally been bored to death by Steve droning on in the Cupertino SteveoDome, decided to new thin my Mac. The keyboard has been processed with boiling water and a blow torch. The Mini is proving awkward, so can I borrow your thirty-two pound sledge to persuade it to co-operate?
First pigeon post on the T-P.
Following the example of the fine fellow who has had his thumbs ‘whittled’, what do fellow habitués suggest might be the cheapest method?
The sledge and the giant paisley squirrel are on their way. Though I’m not really certain why you’d want a giant paisley squirrel.
Hey anything happening over here?
1400, bee-atch-es
Del, it clashes terribly with my white minimalist furniture. It also spoke with the accent and venom of the Rev. Ian. So to maintain my strict vegetarian principles, I killed it with the sledge. Do you want the remains returned?
The thinner Mac project is progressing in a very satisfactory manner, down to two thousandth of an inch. Shall I stop sledging now or try for one yhou? Well what’s the point of stopping now? Everest would never been cli
If you stretch the skinned squirrel over the new flat iMac you’ll have a Flower Power iMac.
One thousandth of an inch was a little too much, so I turned it on its side and with a few clumps it started to work again. Now we must keep this Flower Power 2 thou thick Mini secret. There is a slight snag, it now covers all my computer desk, “You might be late but you’ll up to date when you sledge your Mac”©.
Another benefit, whilst swing your thirty-two pounder, I hit both my thumbs, so if anyone has problems operating their iPhone, the cure is cheap.
Ace Deuce in the Pacific Northwest. I hadn’t known.
I lived on the wet side of the state back before all the owls became so popular. It seems to me that spotted and barred is an artificial shortage of patterns. I know you mentioned paisley, but what about gingham checks, houndstooth, and tie-dye? It seems that we should have a greater fabric selection also.
And why always owls? Don’t we have anything else we could fret about? What about weasels? Ferrets? Badgers? Porcupines? Ducks? Geese? Brook Trout? Root Weevils? Don’t any of those animals like trees?
Summer squash and eggs, please. Over easy.
Badgers? Badgers? We don’t need no stinking Badgers!
Del, what if you combine a ferret and a duck?
Of course, coming up with a good name…. Starts with ‘f’, ends with ‘uck’; hmmm….
Nope, got nothing.
Goodgers are better than badgers: if you inflate them with helium you’ve got yourself a furry blimp.
Rip, don’t fret about ferrets as the forest is fraught with the frightening freaks. Your previous posts have suggested that you might live near the scablands NE of Hanford, which are relatively owl-free. At least you’re not downstream from the radioactive seepage, where rain falls at the drop of a hat.
I live near the site where was found the largest meteorite ever in the United States. Someday its rightful owner will arrive from some distant star to reclaim it, and I and Wilfred Brimley will ask for a ride, but will be refused because we’re not as tall as the cutout cartoon figure of Dennis the Menace. Drat.
So being near a meteorite, have you ever heard the theory that Venus Flytraps are actually an alien life form? Supposedly the only place they grow natively is where a meteorite crashed.
Glad to see that the TP continued while I was gone. Good work guys & gals.
And just where have you been, young man? Did you forget that you were to be home by 10:00 pm?
Doc’s okay. It’s before 10:00 pm over here, so you can’t ground him.
Actually, I WAS over there. Three weeks in SE Germany, Austria, along with single days in Venice and Amsterdam (the latter courtesy of a flight delay). Had a great time and saw the huge monument at the entrance to the Leipzig tunnel. No evidence of Del’s creations over there yet, though.
Sorry Doc, they’ve been called back to fix the slight wrought upon me by the “main” post. Metal Monstrosities!!!! I bet metal won’t hold up to the new iflame. I think I’ll mount them on the beatures.
‘Amsterdam? I thought this was an animal friendly Tera-Post. If we’re cursing rodents of any stripe, polka-dot, houndstooth, or check, then we’ll have to include rats (yes, Remy too), mice, shrews, and guinea pigs. I will not sit idly by while ‘amsters are singled out for abuse.
Okay, really, yes I will sit idly by. I’ll just complain a lot, because that’s easier than actually doing anything.
I’m actually in the vast cultural wasteland just South of Hanford. You’ll know you’re in Richland when you find Oscar Mayer in the gourmet deli.
A day in Amsterdam?
Exactly how did you spend it?
We need an alibi for every minute and take those silly leather shorts off.
*Pair of authentic leather Tyrollean shorts for sale, only slightly slapped.*
Just read that Mr. Micro$oft has shares in MacDonald’s, how do we disguise Steve’s possible embarrassing financial interests in Starbucks or, even worse, The Entity International Waffle Bars?
Um… Steve thought he was helping build a new BattleStar Galactica? That’s my theory and I’m stickin to it.
Actually, the day in Amsterdam was only a few hours. We took a canal cruise and walked around through the old part of the city. No souvenirs; sorry, but I’m a poor tourist.
Horace and Dolores Morris got lost in a torus while heeding the call of the heavenly chorus.
Doris and Boris Norris with their pet loris got soaked in a downpourus as their umbella was porous.
That’s the news, such as it is.
Just so you know, I didn’t out grow the TP. I’ve just been crazily busy graduating from college, visiting England again and trying to find a job.
Yeah, I’m back.
MARK
Btw, when did I post to Fake Phil?
MARK