Nothing. Nadda. Zip. Zilch.

You know, I’d feel bad about us not getting a post together tonight, but I know for a fact that you just come here for the comments anyway, so it’s no big deal.

Anyway, you’ve got the whole weekend ahead of you and a wad of cash in your sweaty little fist (which is all covered in Cheeto dust), so maybe you could dump a little of it on one of our fine advertisers.

There’s Rogue Amoeba. They make good stuff. Although Kafasis tried to kill me that one time.

Well, there’s also Delicious Monster. The things they can do with an iSight camera. Tell you what. Although Shipley did call me a… well, let’s just say he said I like to do something to dogs that I don’t. Totally. I mean… really. I don’t even know how that would work.

Anyway, that brings us to our new advertisers: Shiny White Box and Many Tricks. They also make boss software and so far neither of their CEOs has tried to kill me or accused me of being into bestiality.

Of course, we’ve only just met so…

I should probably give them some time.

…

Do you think Gruber has this kind of relationship with his advertisers?

2,949 thoughts on “Nothing. Nadda. Zip. Zilch.”

  1. Just because you’re right doesn’t mean you’re not delusional.

    Del, you’ll find Atlantis just beneath the Sargasso. And you’ll want to bring your cleaning crew with you.

  3. Does that mean I have to go back to the corner and weep piteously?

    Del, Sargasso very good for seaweed. Seaweed good eating vide Japanese with raw fish and the delicious Welsh fried lava bread for breakfast. Now back to weeping. Sob, gurgle etc.,etc.

  5. I did end up having excellent sushi this weekend. I had spicy tofu rolls and caterpillar rolls. YUM!!!!!

  7. Doc,
    You are visiting David Coulthard?
    Despite the fact that I find his Scots vowels almost impossible to understand, give him my regards.

  12. I have Caffeine Click Syndrome. My CCS is always really bad after a holiday. To answer your first question, I prefer to start at the treads and work my way up.

  17. Are you sitting comfortably? Then I’ll begin.
    Many, many, many years ago, I would occasionally hang around Denmark Street with my slushpump and case looking for a gig. Lots of it was dance music and it was standard for the front line not to know the middle eight, so we’d leave it to the pianist. Just realised that is why jazz pianists at jams frequently play weird chord sequences, they are getting their own back. Anyway the middle eight piano bit was known as vamping, necessary as buying all the dots for all the things you knew was out of the question. We were playing for money as well as fun. Some gentleman illegally hand copied most of the standards and flogged off printed copies which became known as ‘fake’ books. Some are inaccurate but usually published in three editions, ‘C’ or concert pitch, Eb for alto, baritone sax and soprano cornet or other esoteric brasswinds and Bb for tenor and most brass.
    Now you may rightly ask, “What has this to do with The Tunnels?” but no answer will come.

  19. For popular music and jazz, fake books have been around since the early twentieth century. In the mid-1970s, Steve Swallow and Pat Metheny came out with “The Real Book,” but fake books are still popular with cheaters.

    Personally I prefer “The Virtual Facsimile Book,” which suggests a key for each song but gives no other clues. The “Play by Ear Book” is good too, except that it’s printed in Braille for those who can’t sight-read.

  20. Why do music posts stop everything? However, following Ace’s superb re-write, some brief footnotes.
    Slushpump=slide trombone
    Denmark Street=Britain’s Tin Pan Alley and the gathering place for musos for hire
    Middle eight=songs of the period generally followed the ABA or AABA pattern, the B is the middle eight
    Weird chord sequences=chords of unusual sequences are frequently used in attempt to throw the soloist
    Tunnels=No known explanation or reference has been found.
    Now we are all equally bored, may I wish you a belated Happy Labor Day.

  21. Ohhh now I get it…. like ABBA, you were playing songs like “Dancing Queen”. It all makes sense now.

  22. I thnk the Terapostians were keeping quiet to mourn Pavarotti. Opera is probably my least favorite genre, but he had an amazing voice.

  23. You’ve got it Del.
    Some wag over here commented about one of our Eurovision song entry groups, “Bucks Fizz is ABBA for the dead.”

    BTW:-Ever hear Pavrotti’s reading of ‘Brown Sugar’? A real Jagger-shagger.

  24. Wow! no posts for 3 days, and it all started with that fake book business, I’d heard of and actually got my hands on a real book when I was at MIT, (Musicians Institute of Technology,… in Hollywood,… yes they called it that and it was at least as real as the real book)

    And now for something completly different…. hag,… oopps I mean hog shaving._

  28. I’m glad you told us what a slushpump was Nxxx, I had something much more perverted in mind.

    Of course that’s not news, my mind is always wallowing in the gutter, drunk off of stolen Thunderbird wine and derranged off of peyote buttons. At least I hope those brown nuggets in the gutter are peyote.

  30. So I went and saw the Simpson’s movie this weekend. The first half hour was really funny and the rest was good but not great. I did get to see a couple of previews though. There was one that looks absolutely terrible about a star quarterback finding out he had a child and the girl comes to live with him. The one funny part was that while the father and friends are watching a game, the girl changes the station so she can watch “The Wonderful World of Ponies”. There was also a teaser for the new Batman.

  31. Ace, MIT (in Hollywood) would win hands down, we had a few Berklee alum there when I went, bunch of limp wristed %$%^*&$s, and some of those were drummers, which is really sad since drummer usually have such strong wrist from all the years of masterbation….

  32. Del, did you notice that Arnold was in it, but Ranier Wolfcastle wasn’t? That jumped out at me both times I saw it.

    “I was elected to lead, not to read.”

    Neither time I saw the Simpson’s movie did I see any previews that were worth suffering through, let alone paying to suffer through. Maybe I’m just getting callous though.

    On the other hand I tend to be pretty good at picking out crap. Case in point, I remember when the trailers for Charlie’s Angels came out. My first thought was “maybe I’ll suffer that when it’s on cable, but I’ll bet I regret it even then.” Well, it was on cable (again) over the weekend and I decided to give it a chance. Boy did I regret it – what a crappy movie that was. It’s only redeeming quality was all the clevage shown! On the other hand, the clevage was pretty good …

  33. The original Mission Impossible Series is out on DVD (at least the first couple of seasons).

    It is as good as I remember! I had only watched it in reruns but I’ve really enjoyed going through the series. I’ve gotten some good ideas from there.

  35. Okay, I nominate 1555 as the best comment on the page. Too bad “admin” won’t be a regular contributor.

    “The Incredibly Strange Creatures from Outer Space That Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies” is the movie title I will never forget. We had some good times together. Can’t remember how bad the film was however.

  36. The original Mission Impossible was pretty good. The embryonic Tom Cruise brings some real flair to his characterization. Also, it’s a great place to catch Leslie Nielsen in his early comedy career.

  38. Speaking of Leslie NIelsen… I watched Airplane again last night for the kerbilliionth time 🙂

    I love that movie.

  39. He was pretty funny in Airplane… Rip, his real real early comedy work started on THE FORBIDDEN PLANET. My favorite Sci-fi/comedy of the 50’s. (But those electonic tonalities get on your nerves after awhile)

  40. I want to watch the “Naked Gun” movies again, but I’m afraid that if I do, O.J. Simpson will kill the laughs for me.

    So I guess it’s “Top Secret” with Val Kilmer’s best screen performance.

    Where’s the popcorn?

  41. The popcorn? My son is making it over at the theater, but he won’t be working until tomorrow; you’ll have to wait if you want the good stuff.

  42. Is it the kind without hulls? Because I forgot to put my teeth in today.

    “Eleanor Rigby puts in the teeth that she keeps in a jar by the bed. Will she be fed?”

  47. You’re not supposed to inhale your treats, children. Chew eat bite 42 times before swallowing.

    That is, unless it’s some sort of powdery “controlled substance” like anthrax or baby powder or contact cement. Then you may inhale as much as you like. Just don’t come crying to me after you die.

  48. Anthrax is one of the better deaths, feel a bit fluey, then gone. Used to know a lab tech at our great Foot and Mouth release agency and they frequently have to check sudden animal deaths and it is quite frequently anthrax. Ingest the spores and off to the Hospital for penicillin.

    Now are you sure it is just flu?

  49. Come on Nxxx you need to use it’s “proper” name. It is THE anthrax. Always said with a capital bolded THE. Just ask any American Newscaster.

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