You know, I’d feel bad about us not getting a post together tonight, but I know for a fact that you just come here for the comments anyway, so it’s no big deal.
Anyway, you’ve got the whole weekend ahead of you and a wad of cash in your sweaty little fist (which is all covered in Cheeto dust), so maybe you could dump a little of it on one of our fine advertisers.
There’s Rogue Amoeba. They make good stuff. Although Kafasis tried to kill me that one time.
Well, there’s also Delicious Monster. The things they can do with an iSight camera. Tell you what. Although Shipley did call me a… well, let’s just say he said I like to do something to dogs that I don’t. Totally. I mean… really. I don’t even know how that would work.
Anyway, that brings us to our new advertisers: Shiny White Box and Many Tricks. They also make boss software and so far neither of their CEOs has tried to kill me or accused me of being into bestiality.
Of course, we’ve only just met so…
I should probably give them some time.
…
Do you think Gruber has this kind of relationship with his advertisers?
To save bruised knuckles, why doesn’t Rip mug himself and then we Tunnel managers sell him a fifth of his expired voucher.
Hey do you think I might be developing into a politician?
Rip, you can have my share too.
Wait, since I wasn’t in on the original split, that puts us back to square one. Or one-fourth. or whatever…
Road trip to a waffle house!
Which waffle house do we go to?
I haven’t been to a Waffle house in years, I’m a bit indecisive about waffles, too many decisions, once you make an order and then see something better on someone else’s plate your stuck. I just try to avoid all the emotional devistation and just stay out of waffle houses.
JUST SAY NO TO WAFFLES!!!
Now I have to get off this fence…. hmm, which side should I… does any body know which way the wind is blowing… that always helps.
I must hurry and catch up with the others, for I am their leader. Or in the words of the inimitable Jerry Brown, “Find out which way crowd is going and leap to the head of the pack.”
Now, where the hell did I put my galoshes?
Are those the galoshes with the criss-crossy soles that they use to stomp the batter with?
That was Paul Bunyan’s first job, helping out in the kitchen before he outgrew it and started harvesting trees. By the way, he invented the technique of uprooting a maple tree and wringing it out like a paper towel to produce the syrup for the flapjacks and waffles (if I recall my history lessons correctly).
Is that the same Paul Bunyan who wrote ‘Pilgrim’s Progress’?
Nah; it was the one who was Babe’s sidekick.
Doc,… Babe the pig or Babe the Ruth?
Mmm, blue ox burgers for everyone except the vegemacallits.
Blue ox burgers. That’s what I’m talkin’ bout, babe.
Is there such a thing as Blue Vegemacallits Ox Burgers?
Don’t eat blue tofu!
Was that why Elvis sang “It’ll be a blue, blue tofu without you.”?
Who sang “Don’t Step on My Blue Tofu Shoes”
too stuffed with waffles
can barely type
Who sang “Blue Tofu Moon”?
Who was that wierd little chick in “The Blue Tofu Lagoon”?ı
Feeling blue? Perhaps you haven’t heard the latest: The Smurfs are coming! The Smurfs are coming! I read it on the internet so it must be blue:
“The Smurfs movie is planned for their 50th anniversary in 2008.”
I probably won’t watch it since the little critters are from Belgium and I don’t understand Belsh or Phlegmish.
Oooooh. Maybe we can have smurfburgers. They must be vegamacallit friendly. After all, they’re imaginary.
I have just one thing to say.
Smurfs = Blue Tofu
(for now, anyway)
And, it was Elvis.
(It’s ALWAYS Elvis.)
Who wants a fried peanut butter, blue tofu, and banana samwich?
Belsh and Phlegmish are easy to understand. Just stick the mouthpiece of a fully assembled tenor Saxophone in your left ear and enjoy automatic translation. Adolphe Sax was cleverer than most people realise.
If it weren’t for Adolphe, Stan Getz would have had to play the clarinet or shakuhachi. My music filing system would be a shambles.
Hey, here’s an LP with Smurfs on the cover! I knew that Chick Corea was a scientologist, but I forgot that he was a Smurf as well. Live and learn…
I’m going to check out a new restaurant in town. It’s a surf’n’turf’n’smurf place called Babe’s Blue Marlin. I’m told the oxburgers, fish filets, and smurf riblets are all blue, so you have to be careful that you got what you ordered. I’ll stick with the Baby Seal Club Sandwich. They say it’s very cute.
HMMmmmm, hmhm, hmm, hmmm,hmmm, hmmmmmmmm…..
Oh! Hi guys. Just passing through.
Good day!
Ace,
I am surprised that you weren’t aware of Stan’s passion, which he shared with Bird for accompanying Gregorian Chant with Jaws Harp. His solo on psalm 23 is wondrous to behold and hear.
Since hooking up with the $cientologi$t$ Chick is looking a little more green than blue these days.
Hmmm. Is blue food green? An interesting conundrum. Or perhaps that’s a snare. Timpani?
Dang it. I lost my train of thought. What’s worse, my luggage is still on it.
You’ve made an interesting point there, Rip. The first advertisement to appear on commercial television in this country went, “You’ll wonder where the yellow went, when you clean your teeth with Pepsodent.”.
NOW WE KNOW. It went to turn the blue food green.
I suppose how green blue food is depends on how it got to your plate in the first place, and why it’s blue. For example, the blue pigment indican comes from the woad plant, so it’s fairly green. But foods made from endangered species like the Grand Cayman Blue Iguana, Blue Whale, and Californian Blue Butterfly are not so green.
But if you buy carbon offsets or can sequester enough carbon in your pants, you should be okay.
My pants are carbon coloured does that count?
How many trees do I need to plant to offset all the CO2 released by the cabonated sodas used in all the mixed drinks I had over the years? Not that I would do that, being from Texas and all.
But it does seem strange with all the green going on nowadays, (Should never have released the yellow to make blue green, I like blue, except in annimated characters) that the greenies haven’t gone after the cobonated beverage industry…{
Damn!!! forgot how to spell carbonated, too many mixed drinks, yes, that sounds good.
Blueberries are really purple! That annoys me. It’s not as though “Purpleberries” was taken.
Blackberries are in turn, green, red, purple and black, so there could be confusion when asking for Purpleberries. Strangely enough the Welsh mountain wimberry isn’t wim coloured either, it’s also purple.
I always thought that was stupid. Wim is one of my favorite colours.
The colors straw and rasp both make me itch. Gooseberries are green, but I’m not sure about bearberries–it might depend on the kind of bear.
Ever try to get berries out of a goose? It isn’t a pretty sight.
Don’t eat the dingleberries, they taste like crap.
Since dingleberries come from the Dingle Peninsula in Ireland, they must be green, like beer.
Wait. Beer is green? Now I can could get behind an environmental movement based on a theory like that.
Speaking of movements, go easy on the wimberries. I guess that’s all I have time for tonight.
I’m very concerned about global warming and my “carbon footprint.”
1. Local is best. That’s why I’ve taken to getting all my food from my neighbors’ gardens.
2. I try to demolish at least one greenhouse every week.
3. Washing my boots after stomping out the campfire helps with the footprint thingy.
Am I missing something? What things do you do to save the planet?
I try to make sure that I am sober and rested before going to play in my lab. That seems to really help in preventing the end of the planet.
Whenever I’m leaving carbon footprints I try to take big steps so I leave fewer of them. Sometimes I put towels on the floor and just slide across, so I don’t leave any footprints at all, like when I want a beer right after my wife mops the kitchen floor.
Also, sometimes I try to tell the planet about the Amway plan. So far it hasn’t shown much interest in coming to a meeting.
Del, let’s go play in the lab. That flips my switch!
YaY! Let’s go play in the lab. You want some Everclear first?
DOOM…..DOOM…..DOOM…..DOOM…..
The drum of DOOM beats slowly now that Doc & Del have entered the Lab evercleared.
Carbon footprint? Eight triple-E, and are they ever hard to find in the stores! Usually I have to go a half-size bigger and live with a D-width…
What do you mean that’s not the footprint you mean?
I’m going to hide under my desk until the experiment is concluded. I fear Del will take it beyond global warming to global infesting or global exploding.
Ace,
Doc and Del, trips off the tongue nicely, aren’t that sort of duo, they would never harm anything or anyone.
Omigod! Run for your lives.