Nothing. Nadda. Zip. Zilch.

You know, I’d feel bad about us not getting a post together tonight, but I know for a fact that you just come here for the comments anyway, so it’s no big deal.

Anyway, you’ve got the whole weekend ahead of you and a wad of cash in your sweaty little fist (which is all covered in Cheeto dust), so maybe you could dump a little of it on one of our fine advertisers.

There’s Rogue Amoeba. They make good stuff. Although Kafasis tried to kill me that one time.

Well, there’s also Delicious Monster. The things they can do with an iSight camera. Tell you what. Although Shipley did call me a… well, let’s just say he said I like to do something to dogs that I don’t. Totally. I mean… really. I don’t even know how that would work.

Anyway, that brings us to our new advertisers: Shiny White Box and Many Tricks. They also make boss software and so far neither of their CEOs has tried to kill me or accused me of being into bestiality.

Of course, we’ve only just met so…

I should probably give them some time.

…

Do you think Gruber has this kind of relationship with his advertisers?

2,949 thoughts on “Nothing. Nadda. Zip. Zilch.”

  1. The Fire Marshall won’t allow that many on stage. Perhaps they could perform in various parades?

  2. Oi! You two! Del and Ace.
    I got copyright on my DNA, so I have no scruples about claiming my 60% of the profits, so you two can keep organising their itinerary and paying upkeep costs, just keep me informed.
    *Does stolen Happy Dance, only double tempo this time, wearing tap dance shoes and spurs*

  5. So, I suppose to obtain such income, the business plan would look something like this:

    1) Clone Nxxx many times.

    2) ???

    3) Profit!

    (there is no step four)

  6. Oi, Blank, stay out of this, unless you want the benefit of a knuckle sandwich. It is my clones that Del has created, without my permission, I must add. Therefore I must have first and last say in their continuance and use.

  8. The clones could hire out as an entourage for special events. Like Robert Palmer’s video glamour girls, but in the form of Nxxx.

    Can that be patented?

    Or maybe Peter Jackson will revert to non-digital extras in his production of The Hobbit.

  9. This should really be one for the Help Desk.
    How can you tell if iCal is working if it’s the 17th of the month?

  13. Nxxx, don’t let your identification papers out of your sight, or one of the imposters might try to take over your life by claiming to be the original.

    Of course, that can be prevented by branding the Nxxx-come-latelys with serial numbers. Put the irons in the fire!

  15. Into the breach once more!! Going to a job fair, Nxxx, if I see any of your clones there I’ll take care of them. Bought an industrial size can of “Clone Be Gone”. Carry it with me every where I go now.

  16. Is that anything like the anti-clones in the second Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy radio play?

  17. Can we please get rid of them already? Every time I try to say something they start hitting me.

    See, they’re doing it right now!

    MARK

  18. If these Nxxx Clones can be trained to hit politicians, I’m beginning to get quite fond of them. As a precaution, I’ve had “This is the real me” tatooed across my forehead just in case of mistaken identity.

  19. Hey, I saw someone with the same tattoo at the grocery yesterday, but I’m sure it wasn’t you because she had it on her belly.

    And I know it wasn’t me because my “This is the real me” tattoo is on my forehead in reverse so that I am reassured every morning when I look in the mirror.

  20. Hmm… I think the Nxxx clones might be defective, or at least Google thinks so. I’m seeing adds for kidney disease.

    Either that or Nxxx is on to something and plans on a serious binge.

  21. blank, “Clone Be Gone” has special enzymes that detect artifically created (read cloned) cells and causes them to break down at the molecular level. A marriage ceremony is not needed. Need to be careful around hambergers from certain fast food franchises, or you may just end up with nothing but soggy buns, but I believe they have special under garments to avoid public embarrassment due to that circumstance.

  24. I hate soggy buns. That’s why I always check the lawn furniture before sitting if the sprinklers have been on.

  25. Del,
    Our google Ads are about DEVONagent.
    Offer me a good price for Devon and I’ll throw in Cornwall.
    You could then be a member of the Tin Parliament.

  26. That worked. Now I’ve got the add for making my own stem cells. Unless Nxxx has a patent on it, I can start making my own clones.

    On second thought, that might not be a good idea. I don’t think I can afford health care for an army of clones.

  27. Loose Leaf,
    The only problem with cloning stem cells, is that all you get is stems. Do you really want a rose bush without any roses?

  31. Okay everybody, no more talk about Nxxx clones. Going on about cloning and replicants will only taint the Google ads.

    Oops.

  35. I hired a golem to clean my gutters last fall, but it lost its balance and fell hard from the eaves.

    I used the pieces to build a nice outdoor fireplace.

  37. Oh, I sold that to a fortune cookie company in San Francisco. They pay a dollar a word.

  39. Hey missy, who says you get to profit from the entire Mege-Post? You should only be able to sell your own comments.

    Of course, you’d still be plenty rich…

  40. I want to open a fortune cookie some day and see: “Only the bagel has the correct aspect-ratio.”

  42. The aspect ratio of the bagel is more savory, whereas the aspect ratio of the donut (preferred spelling) is sweeter.

  45. I thought bagel holes were to blame for global cooling. I’m pretty sure I read something about that a few years ago.

    Maybe they have to have a thick patch of cream cheese first. Warm up your coffee?

  46. I thought bagel holes were to blame for global cooling. I’m pretty sure I read something about that a few years ago.

    Maybe they have to have a thick patch of cream cheese first. Warm up your coffee?

  49. I’m gonna be rich!! I’ll have enough money to buy all the bagels in the world … MWAAAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

    I love bagels. 5 days a week for the past 7 years I’ve had a bagel for breakfast and I would no’t change that for all the donuts in a cop shop.

    You could always get your own fortune cookies made. Then they’ll say whatever you want!

  50. I’ve been using the Jack Handey Deep Thought line of fortune cookies available from Costco. True they’re not really fortunes, per se, but fortune cookies seldom seem to have real predictive fortunes anymore anyhow.

    My favorite so far: “I hope that someday we will be able to put away our fears and prejudices and just laugh at people.”

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