You know, I’d feel bad about us not getting a post together tonight, but I know for a fact that you just come here for the comments anyway, so it’s no big deal.
Anyway, you’ve got the whole weekend ahead of you and a wad of cash in your sweaty little fist (which is all covered in Cheeto dust), so maybe you could dump a little of it on one of our fine advertisers.
There’s Rogue Amoeba. They make good stuff. Although Kafasis tried to kill me that one time.
Well, there’s also Delicious Monster. The things they can do with an iSight camera. Tell you what. Although Shipley did call me a… well, let’s just say he said I like to do something to dogs that I don’t. Totally. I mean… really. I don’t even know how that would work.
Anyway, that brings us to our new advertisers: Shiny White Box and Many Tricks. They also make boss software and so far neither of their CEOs has tried to kill me or accused me of being into bestiality.
Of course, we’ve only just met so…
I should probably give them some time.
…
Do you think Gruber has this kind of relationship with his advertisers?
Actually, I’m not so sure that draining the Atlantic into these tunnels would be such a bad thing. I’ve always wanted to be able to go swimming in my own private, underground, tunnel system.
Are the iPrairie Dogs waterproof?
…so I sez to this guy, I sez, what do think I meant, a mermaid?
Actually, I’m not so sure that draining the Atlantic into these tunnels would be such a bad thing. I’ve always wanted to be able to go swimming in my own private, underground, tunnel system.
Are the iPrairie Dogs waterproof?
…so I sez to this guy, I sez, what do think I meant, a mermaid?
Actually, I’m not so sure that draining the Atlantic into these tunnels would be such a bad thing. I’ve always wanted to be able to go swimming in my own private, underground, tunnel system.
Are the iPrairie Dogs waterproof?
…so I sez to this guy, I sez, what do think I meant, a mermaid?
Actually, I’m not so sure that draining the Atlantic into these tunnels would be such a bad thing. I’ve always wanted to be able to go swimming in my own private, underground, tunnel system.
Are the iPrairie Dogs waterproof?
…so I sez to this guy, I sez, what do think I meant, a mermaid?
Actually, I’m not so sure that draining the Atlantic into these tunnels would be such a bad thing. I’ve always wanted to be able to go swimming in my own private, underground, tunnel system.
Are the iPrairie Dogs waterproof?
…so I sez to this guy, I sez, what do think I meant, a mermaid?
Psyko! Glad you made it!
FYI:
The iPrairieDogs are water resistant to 100m, but don’t like to be submerged for over an hour. They ‘shouldn’t’ break into a large body of water, but will if specifically told to. It also will ask for the admin password to confirm.
It’s actually kinda fun watching them swim. Those little paws… aaawwwwwww……
We could go more high-tech like the Chunnel. But somebody would have to write a grant requestin order to fund it.
Although we did strike oil earlier…
Yeah turns out striking oil is a lot more lucrative than striking a nerve.
And it is easier to get environmental impact studies after we dig the tunnels. Then we have much more conclusive evidence that iPrairiedogs do not have any impact on my environment.
But have we looked digging tunnels Tapioca optic cables. For even faster Pudding transmissions?
No, those are not my garden gnomes in the freezer.
Del,
You and Streetrabbit cannot be related.
His Bunnies are imports but so are ours, those bloody Romans have got a lot to answer for.
BTW, any suggestions about what to do if we find the odd Roman Legion wandering around down here?
They are not garden gnomes in the freezer, they are Ugh!
Stop playing with the gnomes.
You’ll go blind.
That’s no gnome…IT’S CAI!
I’m imagining that in a lab somewhere on… what was that planet Cai came from again?… there’s an alarm going off alerting him of his name being wrote. There’s probably some CIA filters picking it up as well.
What a minute…. CIA, CAI. MY GOD I NEVER KNEW!
Waaaaaaaaiiiieeeeee Moooo
That should bring him back.
And here I thought that TP stood for TeraPost, while in fact it stands for Tapioca Pudding!
Duuuuuuuuude.
Walking past the entrance to tunnel 19, I noticed the smell of fresh-baked bread. So I decided to investigate. After about 800 meters it narrows considerably and the aroma is very strong… I can’t quite get through… uh, uh, nope, I’m stuck.
Someone, please send the Jaws of Life, and a fresh baguette please. With jam.
And recalibrate that iPrairieDog–it’s off spec.
Ace don’t worry I covered you in a paste of worms & mice and released the iBadger extraction team. They should have you out of there in a few minutes. I’ve also called the paramedics.
(Ok I just unpacked the sexbots dressed in nurses uniforms, but that should suffice shouldn’t it?)
We’ve had some …. issues with iBadger extraction in the past. They do a great job of getting the entire person out, just sometimes it is hard to put all those pieces back together.
I vote for flooding the tunnels! I’ve always wanted to surf through an underground tunnel on the back of an iPrarieDog.
Wait, hold off on flooding the tunnels please. iDontWannaDrownInHere. I got lost somewhere after turning right at Albequerque, I *KNEW* iShouldHaveTurnedLeft. The last tunnel sign I saw simply read 42, so it seemed like the ultimate answer to my dilemma. But now I’m just lost, confused and blinded by the darkness. Not that it’s much of a change for me of course.
Oh, are we actually going to try calling this the ZP to make it more hip? I still prefer TP for so many reasons, the least of which isn’t the fact that ZP is so Micro$loth.
I like TP also. ZP just makes a funny post.
I say we just lay fiber or something and then digitally transmit ourselves?
*sleeps*
MARK
Those iBadgers aren’t irradiated, are they? Because my trousers are ripped to shreds and have that weird green glow.
But thanks, Del. One sexbot nurse should be able to handle this. They can’t get pregnant, can they?
I agree with Walking Contradiction, if we flood the tunnels my iCookies will get all soggy, and who really wants to eat a soggy iCookie, unless it’s soggy from iBurbon, iGin or iVodka etc. ~
Keep in mind, if you flood the tunnels, you will have more iBurbot than iBourbon in here… I fish, therefore I lie.
One sexbot nurse is on the way. I made sure it has the new updated firmware that allows you to set pregnancy = off.
Her name is Zsa Zsa.
Has the sexbot nurse gotten the undercarriage rustproof. I know it is usually a ripoff but the unpredictable tunnel flooding makes it a good deal.
Now remember we have to clear the area of all iPrairiedogs before the iBadger extractions. Last time we forgot the SPCA gave us a very nasty look and a terse letter. I believe next time we may actually get a tsk, tsk and a humph or two with a stern memo. I shudder at the thought.
And maybe we should come up with a tunnel numbering system. Odd numbers for tapioca. Even numbers for flooding. Imaginary numbers for zunnels, we can park the ZP there.
vitamin fortified, the only two imaginary numbers I can think of are the square root of a negative one and the amount I “should” be paid at my “job”. Is that going to be enough or are there more that I’m not aware of?
Considering that it would be the bury zunes that have been sold in the zunnels. And Enderle, Yeah, I think those would be more than sufficient. Just have to keep the entrances guarded with iBadgers that had some “issues” mastering the delicate nature of tunnel extraction. Can’t have inadverting squirting down there.
Are the iPonies getting enough fiber? The tunnels been darker than usual. iLlbethere later than usual since I am having trouble seeing. Difficulity making out the 6’s and 9’s. And with the nurse sexbots, that could mean all the difference as she umm “takes my temperature”.
Sasparilla is not just for iPrairiedogs anymore
The new MS iPrairiedog killer is on the street. The iButthead. Not only is it on the street, but apparently it’s in the street, and has been run over by several passing cars and a Grey Lines tour bus en route to the Sea Lion Caves.
It’s brown on the inside, too.
The sexbot nurse has arrived and she’s applying the ointment. Ahh, yess… a little bit higher… ahh… ahh… I am feeling no pain. I know i’Llfeelawholelotbetter.
Daddy’s going to be all right.
That Zsa Zsa is zsensational! They don’t teach that in nursing school, I’m sure.
Great news everyone!
*pause for semi-obscure reference*
I’m currently in the process of updating the firmware for the all the iPrairieDogs.
They now have full compatibility with both the iBadgers and ponies
Sexbot compatibility…? um. yeah. Not pretty. Gonna hold off on that one.
The general behaviour in this area has declined to such an extent that
By the Powers granted to me by The United Nations
Martial Law is being declared as from 00:01 Thursday 15th February 2007 Greenwich Mean Time.
Looters will be shot on site and sight.
Any sexual deviants will be shot on sight.
Any representations of living or deceased creature will be shot and then dismantled.
My judgement will be final in all matters.
Given this 15th day of February 2007
Disgusted R. Col
O/C Terror Post.
Oh, go be disgusted somewhere else!
I just realized with the Tera-Post Dies we’ll be up to the Peta-Post and then instead of TP we’ll have PP.
Ace Deuce, when you’re done with the Zsa Zsa sexbot, send it to the Colonel Retired.
He seems a little tense.
Since someone mentioned that the Tera-Post had been named in honor of Tera Patricks, I was thinking we could name the next Post after Bambi Hambi — “The Bambi-Post”….
Ahh, the smell of coffee in the morning…
Wait, that’s not coffee, it’s Zsa Zsa the nurse-bot. I’m sending her off pronto. I don’t know if it’s a feature or a bug, but she doesn’t know when to stop talking. Good luck to the Colonel, as this sexbot is bulletproof.
He’ll probably just have her hanged…
Not sure what good it’ll do to a sexbot, but it should help with his stress levels.
Would somebody please stop the iBadgers from teasing the iPrairieDogs…
From what I have seen, it looks as if some renegade iPrairiedogs and iBadgers are having a turf war in the lower level tunnels. Huh? are you sure you have updated the firmware on all of them? If these guys every turned on us,… well, it would be really dangerous down here.
Warned about keeping them separated. Been seeing animal graffitti on the tunnel walls. And the Ponies are being forced to choose sides.
And there is a certified letter from the SPCA.
And since the we did the Pacific tunnel, I think we have been infiltratate by the Yakuza chipmunks.
iThinkwearegoingtoneedabiggerboat and flood the lower levels. We of course will need more Zsa Zsa nurse sexbots, the Belgian Waffle edition. It’s going to be a nasty one.
Where is the Bambi and Thumper Wilderness Tactical squad when we need them?
I will take “Triglycerides In Art” for $200 Alex
I’d be wary of flooding tunnels indiscriminately, or we might be dealing with a platypus/capybara conflict.
I think the way to handle it is put a bounty on each iPrairieDog and iBadger, 10 quatloos per live capture. The bounty hunters will do the dirty work and in the long run it will be cheaper than iFluming them to oblivion.
Del,
There was I thinking of inviting you and the performing Roller Ponies to Rochester Sweeps Festival again this year and what do I get in the post this morning, a begging letter from the Pony Sanctuary Appeal. You said you would not divulge my address, so how can I trust you and your Roller Ponies now?
BTW as Chinese New Year is imminent, who is in charge of the China Tunnel and therefore presenting the official Tera Post Greetings to the Government?
Let’s reconsider the China tunnel. We may want to send the official Tera Post greeting by pudding. The iPrairiedogs and iBadgers are about to launch a gang war and would hate to have an international incident in the middle of the iLoveaparades.
Alex, I will take Famous Quotes by Sheep for $600.
No, no! The official Tera Post greeting must go by Tapioca Pudding; nothing else is sturdy enough!
(Unless we use that “unidentified substance” that they found at Daytona.)
Alex, I will take Hazardous Materials for $800.
Damn iPrairieDogs…
ahem…
ATTENTION! ALL iPRAIRIEDOGS PLEASE REPORT TO ROOM 1138 FOR… um.. BREIFING!
THAT IS ALL!!!
Could ya’ll make sure they get up here…
Huh? Please make sure the iPrairiedogs take the Southwestern or Latin American tunnels. The iBadgers were last seen in the Wisconsin tunnels heading east.
Maybe we should start to focus on a more docile animal for modifications, you know bunnies can dig really fast, the raw materials are cheap. iBunnies, if Hef doesn’t already have the name trademarked. We don’t need another Apple/Cisco thing going either. Of course we would have to keep a tight control on breeding with those horny little …, you know, never mind, we don’t need an infinate number of iBunnies down here.
I’ll take Gratuitous uses of the word Belgium for $300 Alex.Ë™
We have a request here from Jean and Wayne Wuebbels. They would like the tailings from all the Tera-Post tunnels as they are trying to turn Charles Mound (highest elevation in Illinois) into a downhill skiing resort. Just dump the dirt onto the high point, and be careful not to bury any cows.
I’ll take “colors that end in ‘urple'” for $200.
Hose down Yesler hill and free downtown!
Oops, I meant Denny Hill.
Interesting…
Since upgrading all the iPrairieDogs, they seem to be gathering around the Sexbots.
I’m… not sure what to make of this, but since they all have the iFlame upgrades, it might be best to just leave them be for the time being.
yeah…
*dons flame retardant suit*
Don’t mind me, just getting comfy. Anyone got marshmellows?
Jean and Wayne have sent an urgent request to stop dumping or provide 10,000 oxygen breathing sets immediately and please housetrain the iPrairieDogs BEFORE letting them out.