30 Jul 08Our long international nightmare is over

Those filthy perverts at PerversionTracker are back (thanks to TUAW for the news).

Which is really good for me because Ladd owes me money.

Ironically, I had just Tweeted this about an hour before I found out. The universe acts in strange and mysterious ways, my friends. One minute you’re wondering if there’s any point in going on, the next you’re covered in pudding.

There is only one site to look to for news about iPhone apps, people. And since that site is on hiatus, you should probably just go ahead and go on over to PerversionTracker.

146 Responses to “Our long international nightmare is over”

  1. Sue says:

    Gee…….really could use a post about the new MacBook Pro. Hint hint…..sigh…….

  2. Nxxx says:

    And now for Sue, a posting about the [b]NEW MACBOOK PRO[/b].
    It’s a computer.

  3. Sue says:

    Thanks for clearing that up.

  4. Nxxx says:

    Experimental poetry?

    Well mental, anyway.

  5. Steve G. says:

    Hey, your nightmare may be over, but I just spilled ice cream with chocolate sauce on my keyboard. How am I going to sell this now?!? Huh? Better yet, how will I get the ants out?

  6. Ace Deuce says:

    Dear Steve G.,

    This particular page is reserved for incoherent spambot comments for the most part. If you insist on making some kind of sense, you’d fare better posting on one of the other pages on this site.

    We do have standards, after all.

  7. Nxxx says:

    Standards?
    Are you seriously suggesting that the degree of instability, senility, general stupidity and cupidity displayed on this board is measurable?

  8. Steve G. says:

    @119,

    Ace,

    Sorry about mucking up the metrics. I’ve been absent for a while since there didn’t seem to be much going on. I’ll guess that people are lost and wandering through the tunnels of the most recent Greek-prefixed post, pining for The Great Moltz to appear, even in cameo.

    Maybe we should invite Shatner to do a cameo.

  9. Nxxx says:

    “The Great Moltz” must always be typed between double inverted commas and spoken with whispered awe.

  10. Steve G. says:

    @122

    Nxxx,

    If we say the name three times, will he appear? Or does that crap only work in horror movies?

    Then again, from the looks of this place lately, it could almost qualify. We need some flickering lights, some creaky noises, and a scantily clad female with … (you get the idea).

  11. Nxxx says:

    Repeat the name three times on All Hallows Eve at midnight whilst looking in a mirror with no crosses or garlic in the room.
    Me?
    I’ll be long akip.

  12. Steve G. says:

    @127,

    “long akip”??
    What the bloody hell does that mean?
    Is that some spam creeping in there?
    If that’s the case: Dig the Wig ’08 baby!

  13. Ace Deuce says:

    Nxxx is one of those financial investor types. When he says he’s “long akip,” he means he has bought a very large quantity of stock in a company with the symbol AKIP. It stands for Acoustic Kinesthetic Interweb Products, and it’s a very important player in the future of that sort of thing.

    Me? I moved my funds into high-yield lottery tickets.

  14. Nxxx says:

    Nice of you to invest with us, Ace.
    Of course we will have to move the funds offshore and being an ecological company, we intend to use the tunnels.
    I can assure you that I will personally look after your money.
    post script:-What was our trading name again?

  15. Ace Deuce says:

    Money? My funds are in the form of live hamsters. Did I forget to mention that?

  16. Steve G. says:

    Live hamsters?
    Richard Gere on Line 1.

  17. Nxxx says:

    The French love veal, wonder how they feel about hamsters?

  18. Building Superintendent says:

    October 29, 2008

    To All Tenants,

    This is to advise you that, due to the unfortunate incident that occurred just before Daikiitako Food Imports LLC terminated their lease with us, we have upgraded our office security system to help ensure your safety and protection. Our contractor, Aperture Science, has now completed their installation of an automated, turret-based product that uses the latest in artificial intelligence and personnel access control technologies. We are excited about the high level of security that this new system provides, and are confident that you will feel as safe as a lamb now that it is in place and operating. If you have any questions or comments about this system, please let us know.

    See you around the building!

    Jose Hozebee
    Building Superintendent

  19. Nxxx says:

    A fine system like that, should be able to dig tunnels.
    Anyone know how to get it started?

  20. Steve G. says:

    @136: Hamster scaloppine for dinner tonight!

    @138: Hose A, Hose B! Aww, crap, the frickin’ robots are starting to get punny. It was more enjoyable when they would just shoot people. If they start lolcatting or Rick Rolling, I’m escalating to tactical nuclear weapons. I don’t have time to mess around.

  21. Nxxx says:

    Tactical Nukes?
    Must you join the NRA first?

  22. Steve G. says:

    Who needs the NRA when we’ve got gun shows and black market nuclear weapons? I don’t need a lobbyist, I need firepower!

  23. Nxxx says:

    I hope to start negotiations to become the agent for Nuclear Pumpkins as soon as the elastic powered inter-continental delivery system is to specification.

  24. Nxxx says:

    But can it turn instant into expresso?

  25. Steve G. says:

    How about a tall no-foam latte with room?
    Oh, wait. That’s my wife’s drink.
    Can it brew beer? Then maybe I’d be interested.

  26. John Moltz says:

    Uh, OK, I was kind of in deleting some spam comments and the ol’ trigger finger got a little happy and I might have deleted some that weren’t spam (one of Sue’s in particular). So, if you have any trouble posting, let me know.

  27. Anonymous says:

    Ok, this hiatus shit is getting old. Don’t make me come out there and use your fucking toothbrush. I know you think you’re better than us, but you get itchy ass when you don’t wipe just like the rest of us.

  28. Ace Deuce says:

    Woohoo!

    First, the guy I voted for wins, and now the actual Mr. Moltz is doing housekeeping on this backwater shantytown of a web site.

    He really, really likes us! (apologies to Sally Field)

  29. Nxxx says:

    Moltz lives and still cares for us.
    In celebration, I’m going to take today, Saturday, off and play my melodeon in the streets for merry dancing.

    Forgot. I’m retired and gave that up as well.

    Back to the tenor and synth.

  30. Ace Deuce says:

    Sorry I haven’t contributed anything lately: I’ve been trying to figure out how to type in Russian so I can be with the “in” crowd.

    Я пытаюсь так сложно с учетом дюйма.

  31. Nxxx says:

    What’s wrong with Chinese pictograms, e.g.
    ᄢᄐᄣᄯ, Oops! Sorry that was Japanese.

  32. Ace Deuce says:

    你說什麼?

  33. Nxxx says:

    Have a care, sir. Watch your language.

  34. Steve G. says:

    Great. Moltz has been gone so long, everybody’s started talking in tongues. Save us!

  35. Nxxx says:

    Talking in tongues?
    Has this turned into the Bible?

  36. Ace Deuce says:

    Actually, a new ecumenical council has been convened to consider new books to be admitted to the canon of the holy scriptures, to guide mankind in the next century. The council has already considered and rejected Dante’s Divine Comedy and Melville’s Moby-Dick. Lady Chatterley’s Lover is being hotly debated, with some of the clergy saying it’s “too racy.” Of particular interest to us is that Crazy Apple Rumors Site is in the running, although certain articles are already considered apocryphal.

    Someday, preachers may refer to the Book of Moltz and rattle off new nuggets of wisdom: “And Streetrabbit saith, ‘the post was struck asunder and many wandered the lands lost and wrought with great malady. Yea then did high priestess Masako lay her warm, oiled, delicate hands on the smitten post and life was begot of its loins.'”

  37. Silly Rabbit says:

    [Shaking his head forloinly]

    Tsk tsk… They’ll never loin…

  38. Nxxx says:

    We shall now sing hymn number one hundred and sixty-six from the Moltz, Ancient and Modern.

    Where have all the CARS ones gone?
    Long time passing,
    Where have all the CARS ones gone?
    Long time ago.
    Where have all the CARS ones gone?
    Lost in the Internet everyone.
    When will they ever loin?
    When will they ever loin?

  39. Steve G. says:

    Ugh.
    And to think I accidentally started this.
    [smacks forehead]
    Will I ever learn?
    Of course, if Moltz came back from The Beyond (or wherever the heck he is), he could straighten all this stuff out, ala Kurt Vonnegut Jr. in Back to School.

  40. Nxxx says:

    No need to beat yourself up on our behalf Steve, we’ll do it for you.

  41. Steve G. says:

    Just don’t hit me in the face.
    I hope to be pretty someday.

  42. Nxxx says:

    Happy Thanksgiving from this side of the Pond.
    Posting early as the internet is sooooooo slow.

  43. Steve G. says:

    Thanks!
    We’ve managed to come out of our tryptophan-induced coma to trample a store employee (before sunrise) and shoot two people in a toy store (before lunch). Busy-assed day.
    Merry f-ing Xmas!
    Love,
    The Colonists

  44. Nxxx says:

    Very good but who wants to borrow a student??

  45. Steve G. says:

    Depends. What can we borrow them for?

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