Apple announced today that it has discontinued its search for the person responsible for the leak of confidential information related to the project code named “Asteroid.” Published reports of the leak had prompted the company to sue AppleInsider and O’Grady’s PowerPage, suits it has decided not to pursue any further.
Sources at Apple indicate the decision was made after it was realized that no one could remember what “Asteroid” really was and what it was that had been leaked.
“Phil? Do you remember?” a visibly confused CEO Steve Jobs asked Senior Vice President of Worldwide Marketing Phil Schiller.
“Whoo,” Schiller said. “Sheesh. Kinda puttin’ me on the spot here, Steve!”
Pursing his lips, shifting his weigh from one foot to another and crossing and uncrossing his arms, Schiller looked pensive for several moments.
“Nope. I’m drawing a blank. I got nothin’.”
“Me, too,” Jobs said. “Kind of embarrassing! Ha-ha! Boy, I really made a big fuss over this. You’d think I could remember what it was all about…”
“Didn’t it have something to do with iLife?” Chief Operating Office Tim Cook chimed in.
This suggestion however only prompted more blank stares and heavy sighs.
“Mmm, maybe not,” Cook said.
“Was it a tablet device?” asked CFO Peter Oppenheimer.
Jobs, Schiller and Cook squinted at him quizzically.
“No,” Oppenheimer said. “No… er…”
“Wasn’t it sort of a thing that connected to other things and had some kind of other connection for this one special thing?” head of Mac hardware engineering Peter Mehring offered.
“I remember it was white,” Chief Designer Jonathan Ive said, prompting nods from everyone.
“Sure.”
“Yeah.”
“Duh.”
After another prolonged silence, Jobs said “What the heck was that thing?!”
Whatever the device was, Apple insists that it was all worthwhile.
